I second what KML said G. If you can’t come on here and get rid of your worst thoughts, where else are you going to do it. Your experiences supporting those women at work reminded me that even when people look like they have things together, often times they don’t. And you just never know what is happening behind closed doors.
I know how frustrating it must be for you to hear people say “be patient”...you’ve been on this roller coaster longer than most of us here. I do believe that your time is coming though. You are just too good of a catch!! The right person will find you, I’m sure of it.
My recent interactions with Brook has reminded me that timing really is everything. I have seen his name numerous times on the “people you may know” list on Facebook but hadn’t added him. For some reason, I had the impulse to add him this time and I can’t help but think there is a reason. Honestly, if i had added him one of the other times I saw his name, he would have been still married and probably would have accepted my friend request but not sent me a message and we probably would have never talked. So...the timing of this is interesting. And...it may not amount to anything other than a good friendship but that would still make it all worthwhile. So...keep taking chances and taking advantage of any opportunities that come your way. You just never know what random small decision you make is going to lead to a big life change. That’s what makes life exciting, don’t ya think?
I really do appreciate the support. But hearing the same misery over and over must get old. I’m lucky to have this place though, and even though my divorce is over and done with, it’s a good place for support post divorce.
I think I really am losing patience. This is really insane. Every day is the same thing, work, home, dinner, and when my daughter isn’t home, me staring at the wall eating alone. No one to talk about my day to after work, no one to kiss me hello and goodbye. No one who gives a crap about my day. For soooooo many years. This can’t be it. It just can’t be. And I can’t be ok with it. And it turns out I have to be ok with it to have a partner? I was ok with it for a while. I’m not anymore. I am surrounded by so many who can’t or don’t want to be alone. And they never are. They have. I probably finding partners. And it is just about the most impossible feat for me.
I am actually envious of those who got 15-20 years of what they though was a good marriage. I never got that. Others might be envious I got out early...... but it didn’t give me a chance for a do-over.
And I seriously live for my daughter and nothing else. But can I tell you how lonely it is being a single parent for so many years? Well, for my whole daughters life? It’s a catch 22. I’ve got this beautiful child who is my reason for existing. But for the same reason, I am trapped right where I am when I want so much to make changes. But I can’t. I know it sounds awful and it’s not coming across as it should, because seriously, I live for that child and I love her so much and she is the only thing that brings me joy.
The only thing I look forward to is 5-6 years from now when she graduates high school is high tailing it out of here. Moving to a state which I have already chosen and selling my house and living in an affordable area not struggling, and just being surrounded with a different atmosphere. When I’m down I look up townhomes in the area o want to move to, and drool over the prices and taxes.
Maybe my only purpose on this earth is to raise my daughter into a happy beautiful young woman. It might be the only reason for my existence . The only other thing I do is work to keep the bills paid and work off debt. That’s it.
I feel isolated and lonely. And some meetup with strangers isn’t going to help that. I want a person who is comfort, who is home. And I feel like I must be asking for the world, yet so many can find it and I can’t.
And I can’t help but wonder sometimes if my exH sees me single after all these years and feels validated because obviously, no one wants to be my partner in life.
So there it is. Probably take it back now, right? Lol
This forum is for you to vent joke and provide some really sage advice. If you can't come here and vent, where do you think you can do it? We all have gotten know you and know that you have days of struggling. We are here to support you any way we can.
Last edited by job; 01/13/2011:04 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
