The vague shapes will become more solid in the next few months and you just might be surprised at what they reveal.
Twins?
When I shook her belly it didn't rattle so I expect not.
Originally Posted by kml
Went to the Farmers Market this morning, got coffee from a coffee truck called Coddiwomple Coffee.
Looks like a cool place. I may watch for it this spring sometime when I go to visit my daughter.
Tired again after a busy but generally good weekend.
The death of my colleague has hit me harder than I expected and I was in rather an emotional daze for a couple of days. Even now there's a lot of WTF going on. Surprisingly, the disaster has hit my small community as well. A couple of local families are grieving lost loved ones. The world is indeed a very very small space and the need to love and care for each other is more apparent than ever.
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S25 had his first shift on Friday so S and I had the house to ourselves until well after midnight. We were still awake.
Some shuffling of errands had to be done to be sure that I got my fresh roses (white ones this time). S and FSL seem to get along quite well but then she seems to get along well with everyone.
We popped out to "the farm" for what was supposed to be a quick visit with my youngest brother and nephew. SIL2 was also there as was her mother. She'd messaged me asking if she should put the coffee on so I responded suggesting decaf tea and mentioned that S was sensitive to both gluten and alcohol. When we got there, the tea was on and a plate of rice crackers and cheese was out to snack on.
This brother and his wife have built themselves a beautiful but huge house on the old family farm. It's on the hillside overlooking the river. Pretty much all of the wood in it was harvested by my brother so the kitchen cabinets are cherry, maple floors etc. It cost them an awful lot of money that they'll be paying off for quite a while. The stress of that on my brother is quite palpable.
S and SIL2 got on famously. They both have an interest in holistic health and nattered on about that, their experiences in dating / having a relationship with one of the "P" brothers. SIL2 echoed that she kept expecting "the other shoe to drop" about my brother and couldn't understand why he didn't have some sort of fatal flaw like all the other guys she dated. It took some effort to get S out of there as they were very wrapped up in their conversation, so that the rest of the errands could be finished and we ended up picking up some frozen food for dinner since it was so late when we got home that neither of us had any energy to cook so we sat and watched a movie instead (The Lorax).
After SIL2 messaged me and told me that she is sure that S is "the one".
Sunday we "slept in" and I made gluten free pancakes (works decently with the Lonely Girl Pancakes recipe), sausages and back bacon for "brunch".
I've been having a twinge in my foot that reminds me of the gout pain I had in the summer so I decided that I would go for my walk on Sunday around the village. Because I've been so busy with S, I've not walked regularly in some time. S joined me for about the first third - she told me in advance that she probably wasn't up to the full route which is about 4 1/2 km. She did meet some of the neighbourhood dogs who run out to bark at me and they all got along quite well.
After our walk, S used up pretty much all the hot water in the house having a lovely bath plus catching up on some laundry which is much easier to do at my house. I did some housecleaning etc and laid down for a bit of a rest while she was in the tub. S joined me later fresh out of the tub.
S made pulled pork sandwiches for Sunday Supper and we tried a Vin0 brand de-alcoholized wine with it. The dinner was good but the wine was pretty bad. We only had a glass or so and S25 refused to even try given some previous bad experience. I cubed up some butternut squash as a side dish and S had it prepped and in the oven while I was distracted with some other chores. Finding a decent zero alcohol wine will be a mission for us. S also enjoys the flavours of wine but can't have "any" alcohol.
To no-one's surprise S has some very clear ideas on where this is all going and generally speaking I'm in favour of it. She is moving rather faster than I am at times comfortable with which we've talked about. She'll say something and I'll get that "deer in the headlights" look even if it's something that I myself have mentioned in passing now realizing that this is getting more and more real by the day. She's now suggesting that S12 spend some regular time at the house as well. Again - a perfectly reasonable comment. S12 knows me, he's been to the house before. We did talk about the boys and how things need to be handled very carefully. They both have their own issues and S is very open that she did a lot of things wrong in her last marriage including rushing the boys into an environment where they were very uncomfortable.
Since I've been open about my concerns about my health to S she is also concerned and has told me that she's going to make sure that I don't over-do it. But that is proving to be a challenge as we both have lots of things that we feel need to get done. As it is, I didn't get my ironing nor much cleaning done on the weekend. I ended up hanging my clothes up and will iron them tonight but still didn't get to bed until after 10:00 last night instead of my preferred 9:00. My blood pressure machine failed on Saturday night so I need to get another one today. The readings have been in the warning but "normal for me these days" range. We'll see what the doctor has to say next Monday but I'm pretty sure it will be an adjustment to my meds, some further tests and an admonishment to lose weight and exercise more. I'm going to push more to get out for my walks which S is in favour of, but the sheer number of other things we want to get done have prevented it from being an easy priority.
S's D25 and GS are coming from Ottawa for a visit starting tomorrow. I'll be having dinner with them on Wednesday. This is S's custody weekend coming up so I have told her that I'm expecting to get a lot of housework done. She could come over, but I'll be dusting and scrubbing. The next Saturday I'll be cooking up my haggis for Robbie Burns Day. Since it's not certified gluten free I need to come up with a second "haggis-like" dish for S. I'm thinking a variety of oatmeal based meatloaf with similar spices to a traditional haggis.
Starting trying to think of what to do for S for Valentines Day. It's a Friday so I won't be home until fairly late and I believe it's her custody weekend. She may be expecting a ring. I'll undoubtedly miss the mark on that.
As an aside #1, B still hasn't blocked me at all. I'm going to assume that after a week that she's unblocked and is no longer "hiding" for whatever reason.
As an aside #2 I've nagged 20S again about getting her stuff out of the house. Gently but still a definite nag. I doubt it will have much impact.
Aside #3 - SIL2's mother shops at my ex-wife's store but hasn't seen her for a while. No fresh intel.
Aside #4 - SIL2's father works at the same place as S25 has started at but on a different shift. All reports are that he really likes it there. S25 seemed very positive and cheerful after his first full shift. We won't actually cross paths through the week except on Wednesdays so I won't hear anything until then.
Now to just stay awake for the afternoon.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
S made pulled pork sandwiches for Sunday Supper and we tried a Vin0 brand de-alcoholized wine with it.
Sparkling grape juice is a good substitute for wine. (Notice that I didn't say anything about the pulled pork.)
Must be a busy news week for you to pass up on that
I have a stock of the sparking juice from Ikea which is actually fairly decent. There was a line of dealcoholized wines promoted through MADD that S quite liked. I checked to see who made them and it's the same people that make the Vin0 that we don't like.
My ex-wife picked up her monthly payment #27 or 77 this morning. I suspect that she's having to get up early for her commute now as she did that just before 6:00am. The text woke me up. Over 1/3 done. As usual there was no acknowledgement or anything. It is what it is. It would be nice if she decided that her new sparkly life doesn't need subsidizing, but perhaps it does. Literally none of my business beyond sending that payment.
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So - the winner of the betting pool is job! I'll put your prize in the mail.
And yes - I know that I'm going to be whacked upside the head for this.
On Monday S messaged me in the afternoon asking how my day was going. I've learned that this is code for her wanting me to do something for her. Sure enough, a bit later she messages that she's been thinking hard about our conversations on the weekend and has some things she wants to talk about. Gulp. So - as it was close to quitting time anyway, I packed up, picked her up an hour later, got thoroughly smooched and we went out to Tim Horton's for quiet tea and conversation.
To make a long story short, S is suggesting that she and S12 start staying over from time to time and that she's there when I get home from work on those days as well.
I emphasized that we need to be sure that the boys are comfortable with things and that I was putting the full load of making those decisions on her. They are her boys and I have no say. I also pushed that I was very uncomfortable with it - even though appearances shouldn't matter - without her divorce actually being filed.
S says she has the divorce thing all figured out and expects that she'll have to do all the work even if her STBX was the one who had suggested it. She also disclosed her financial position to me which is not nearly as bad as I thought it was from other things she's said. Although I suppose when you only have a small shovel that a small pile of poo is a lot of work.
She does agree about the divorce thing as one thing that has happened to her in the past is what starts as amicable turns nasty. And the less obvious moving parts involved the better. I'm positive that her STBX knows that I exist and in what context though.
Her longer term vision has just her, S12 and the dog moving in leaving the cats and rabbits with S17 who will by then be S18 and would actually prefer to be living on his own anyway. She has a side-hustle of holistic health services that she has been wanting to have a space for as her old space wasn't working and since I'm zoned commercial so she is figuring on setting it up here in the front porch which really is only used to store stuff for 20S at present.
Given school, and all the various moving parts, an actual "move in" won't happen until school lets out for the summer I presume. There's a bus already in the village for S12 to get to the school he's already enrolled in that will probably take some polite emails to get him on. The wife of a friend of mine is the head of the district school board so I don't really expect any issues.
I made up the bed in one of the the spare rooms last night.
So - the train that in many ways I had thought was farther down the tracks mainly because I've not been looking at the calendar has published it's schedule and is booking passengers. Generally I'm ok with all of this. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have been talking to S in general and gradually more specific terms about a future.
The actual time-line will be a bit under a year from the first date. Certainly slower than with my ex which was I think about 2 months from complete strangers to co-habit. And S where I think it was 2 1/2 months. And I've actually known S for probably close to a decade.
There is a huge amount to still figure out and the train could derail. S25 has already been told that S will be stopping by from time to time to work on her various projects here where there is more room and he was fine with that. None of this is any surprise to anyone.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I am so sorry that I won the prize...but the handwriting has been on the wall for quite some time. Now, you need to get S20's "stuff" out of your house. At the rate your house is going, it will become a hoarder's paradise.
Even though you have a few months before the final move in. continue to take things slowly. You have your health to think about and if this move in is going to cause you stress, especially when all of her kids come to visit/stay for periods of time or rock your world in keeping your house messy...well, it might be better to say, no for a while. Just make sure your cats are well taken care of the dog doesn't aggravate them. Hopefully the dog is house broken.
S25 is watching from the sidelines and most likely waiting to see just how long it takes for this one to move in and then drive you nuts with the honey do lists, etc., and then you become disillusioned w/S. Remember, right now, you both are putting on a good face and the real people come out to play once you've been put into the same house day in and day out.
Time to get S20 there to get her stuff and no more excuses. Give her a set deadline and tell her that if she doesn't come get that stuff, it's going out on the street. You've been more than kind to store that stuff for almost a year or so.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Andy P - You have a son that lives at home still right? You move B in and a few months later it ends and she leaves. Now a few months go by and another woman (S) is going to move in and she isn't even divorced?????
Maybe that is a Canadian cultural thing but in Texas that is pause to tap the breaks a little bit. You certainly don't want to become a half-way house.
Why? Why does this need to happen now? Why can’t this wait until an adequate amount of time, over a year? There is a 12 year old child involved. I have a 12 year old. I couldn’t fathom it.
What’s her rush? And I don’t even think you have a rush. You just always go along with what the other person wants.
