I don't think we need to worry about J9 being impulsive. Putting his foot in his mouth - yes. Impulsive - no. He's shown that he's a pretty heavy duty thinker and planner who I suspect for a career is involved in something that requires a fair amount of risk management. He just strikes me as that type.
And maybe if he literally stuffs his foot into his mouth - he won't blurt out anything he regrets
That is a much better way of stating what I meant. I don’t think J9 would be impulsive about it, I’ve just noticed, way many times, words coming out or getting typed that were probably not meant the way they came out.
I think you know it’s too soon, it’s not the right time, there are many serious discussions that still need to happen... I think you see that as many here do. The huge question is, does the doctor? And even if her brain agrees, her heart, after this past weekend, may be something else. Remember she’s in the throws of early love, and all things wonderful and it will just all work out and I’m just so happy, and he’s so wonderful, and... I think that’s where the doctor is at , plus, “he asked me what kind of a ring I’d like,”. Am I wrong ladies and gentlemen?
Just be sure to fully engage brain before putting mouth in gear. .
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
And I keep forgetting... you like hit it out of the park with your Christmas gifts dude! I don’t think I’ve ever gotten any one person that many gifts and well thought out. I’m just not a gifts LL guy at all - in fact I was again thinking another great thing about not having a GF is not having to do all that shopping but BS you really did a great job - ringless or not she should be very happy with so many well thought gifts. Good job.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
And I keep forgetting... you like hit it out of the park with your Christmas gifts dude! I don’t think I’ve ever gotten any one person that many gifts and well thought out. I’m just not a gifts LL guy at all - in fact I was again thinking another great thing about not having a GF is not having to do all that shopping but BS you really did a great job - ringless or not she should be very happy with so many well thought gifts. Good job.
I agree. I’ve never gotten that many gifts. Even as a child. So you did pretty good, and they are all pretty good and right up her alley
Thanks everyone, I will blame it on the bourbon It is actually very hard for me just to completely let myself go, express myself and I actually don't do well with commitment. I think it has to do with my professional training and always having to pick and chose my words wisely so no one can pin me down. She knows it it is too early, she is meeting my mom tonight and just a couple of weeks ago she said that we needed to spend more time around each others kids. Deep down inside I am sure she could be a little disappointed deep down inside she knows.
Shopping for her was hard and leading up to it I was dreading Christmas shopping because I didn't want to spend the money. Yes DH, you are right in some ways it is a benefit although I ordered 95% of mine on Amazon so avoided all of the store madness. She is not easy to shop for so that made it a little bit challenging as well. She is coming over tonight for dinner, I am cooking and we will be doing our gift exchange this evening also. She got my girls presents as well and her son won't be present either so what I got him she will just take home with her this evening.
Well G you said to do something more than just a box of chocolates and a coffee mug!
Thanks L, I am not sure what my XW currently values but obviously whatever it is she believed that I was not able to bring it to the table. My XW was also spoiled, had it on easy street, and didn't even know it as she had experienced any other men her entire adult life. It's funny when I think about the DR. and how much more she appreciates me as she knows what it is like to be with another spouse that let her down in many ways.
I really think that makes a difference. The 40 year plus women I know who have been with basically been with one man are mostly miserable and I really think it’s because they have no idea how worse off it could be. Then there is my one friends wife who had been single for 17 years and found my friend and treats him like a king because she knows how bad it is out there.
Exchanged gifts last night with the dr. No mention of rings and she told me I did well. My girls are up at 4 am this morning now just waiting on grandma and grandpa to wake up. Later this morning going over to the dr. To give her son his presents and she wants my parents to meet him.
Taking the girls to their moms at noon and then I will get them back tomorrow morning.
My parents leave today to head back home. I am still off until 1/2 but have my girls this week. The Dr. son goes to his dad's house today so all next week the Dr and I will have kid free. Going downtown New Years so that should be fun.
My parents got to hang with her on XMAS Eve and XMAS Day. She came over on the Eve and then we went over on Xmas morning so I could give her son his presents. I got her son a drone and some Match Box car race track. I am going to have to take him to a park when he gets back from his dads house so he can fly it. He has already asked several times. My parents also got to meet her mom and sister. That evening her and her son came over for dinner however my girls were at their mom's so it was just the 5 of us.
Both my parents approved and told me I had upgraded and that my XW did me a favor. My mom wanted to go to the W's condo with me when I dropped off the girls to tell the X Merry Christmas however I talked her off the ledge. She just doesn't need to make a big production out of it and certainly not at her front door, etc. I just told her to let it happen organically. My mom is just happy that I am happy so now all that my XW did has been forgiven in her eyes.
I took the girls to Target and had them pick out a couple of things for their mom. So they wrapped them along with a card and gave them to her on Christmas Day. They got me a nice blanket and a couple pairs of socks. It was kind of a surreal moment as I thought to myself about me and the XW and how our R has morphed into a blanket and 2 pairs of socks for presents these days. Then from me a leopard printed pillow along with a leopard coffee cup. The girls told me their mom was currently really into leopard prints! SMH
The girls told me their mom was currently really into leopard prints! SMH
Leopard or cougar?
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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