Yeah make sure the earring box looks NOTHING like a ring box.
LOL. As I say doing my project work - the hardest part is "managing expectations"
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Tsk, tsk, tsk, J9.....did your coach teach you nothing? You never ever EVER ask about rings until you are within a few days of walking into a jewelry store and laying down the cash. You might think it was in the context of what was happening and given your continued praise of the dr’s practicality, you no doubt assume she would view it the same way. But, dear J9, take it from another practical woman....she’s already told her best friend that you brought up ring talk and now she’ll be watching/waiting for it. I’m with kml - make d@mn sure those earrings aren’t in anything that even remotely resembles a ring box or the dr is going to be disappointed. And no, you won’t know because she’s kind, loving, thoughtful and practical, but trust me on this, she’ll be disappointed just the same. She’ll just mask it very well to keep from hurting your feelings.
Last edited by job; 12/23/1905:44 PM. Reason: edited a word for Dawn
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
*I’m with kml, that should say....not kids. D@mn autocorrect!
I corrected this for you.
Last edited by job; 12/23/1905:45 PM. Reason: corrected a word for Dawn in previous posting
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I think 2 years ago I made gift boxes out of old beer cases. That would certainly throw her off ....
The kids found it funny that each gift they opened had the word Molson under the wrapping paper.
Of course now I'm stuck having created a new tradition .... Good think I like beer still.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I did ask the Dr. what kind of ring she liked. She told me what she preferred but followed it up by saying she didn't need anything fancy. That was the extent of any conversation about marriage.
Sure, within days of me complimenting you (on another thread) about how well you are handling things with the doctor, I read this... LOL My jaw dropped. The girls have already clued you in but even as I guy I was like, what is he doing? I honestly thought the real truth is that you want to get engaged. Is that possible? If not you didn't think this through at all - which I have to say, when i do give you crap, it's often after you say something that appears you gave zero thought to. Have you been told that before? Do you just blurt things out without thinking?
She's clearly going to be thinking a ring is around the corner. I hope you don't feel obligated now. She may still be the one and a great woman - I just don't think you can be sure of that this soon. Today it's "Oh baby, whatever you want I am fine with" while she has her rose colored glasses still on. She's still so infatuated with you that everything is all rainbows and butterflies, but that is rare to last - with "You don't understand me and why do we always do what you want to do" coming up down the road. You guys have serious life discussions to have some huge heart to hearts on before ring styles come up - although I guess that ship has sailed - or at least has started boarding. I hope she's not disappointed at Christmas. Just in case, I'd think about NOW - think it through before you say it - letting her know that you really want to keep going with her and see a future but it's still too soon. Don't tell her this unless it comes up - but after this weekend, something tells me it might come up.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Maybe it was the booze talking I have never been told that before. I just didn't think about as the woman who got engaged was showing off her ring. She will be meeting my mom for the first time tomorrow so I really don't think she is expecting a ring for xmas. She knows my mom is the gate keeper.
I don't feel any pressure and if she brings it up I will stay true to myself. She knows we both have not spent a ton of time around each others kids and I would hope she would know we have not had a ton of big discussions either around some of those details you have outlined above.
I'm just glad that it's J9 getting the flack for moving too fast instead of me for a change
Now where did I put that Chicken Marsala recipe ....
I don't think we need to worry about J9 being impulsive. Putting his foot in his mouth - yes. Impulsive - no. He's shown that he's a pretty heavy duty thinker and planner who I suspect for a career is involved in something that requires a fair amount of risk management. He just strikes me as that type.
And maybe if he literally stuffs his foot into his mouth - he won't blurt out anything he regrets
BTW - Merry Christmas J9 and girls.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
LOL.....same to you A. I am lead a large team of 150 people so I don't just act willy nilly. I am constantly managing people and their personalities. Usually I am very diplomatic, and chose my words wisely. I am very cautious and don' just make rash decisions.
IT must have been the 3rd bourbon that got to me If she does bring it up I will just let her know that I love her, enjoy spending time with her, etc. but I am still just not ready.
I really don't think it will come up tomorrow. She might drop some hints but I don't think it will be direct if she does so.
I have never been told that before. I just didn't think about as the woman who got engaged was showing off her ring. She will be meeting my mom for the first time tomorrow so I really don't think she is expecting a ring for xmas. She knows my mom is the gate keeper.