When my lonely weekends come around and there is all this stuff I want to do experience and no one is available.... I say “I’ll just go do it on my own!”
Which is why you need some single BFFs. You don't need a man to go do things, but you do need single girlfriends.
Is there an app for this?
G, do a search on facebook for singles groups and your city. There are a couple in my area that aren't very active as far as meeting in person, but there is one in Raleigh (a little over an hour away) that i've gone out with a few times even though they are pretty far from me. Maybe being in a big city yourself, there will be a nice active group locally. One thing I've noticed from that single group is you have a few that just wanna hook up, but more so a lot of the ladies have become close friends with each other and are constantly doing things with just them.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
I had no idea there are singles groups on FB! Thanks coconut! It’s weird. I’m a half hour outside NYC. But going into NYC is the hugest pain in the hit. Driving in is expensive. Finding parking is impossible. I. Don’t feel confident woth the busses and trains alone. And it’s just more effort than it’s worth for meet up groups. I how to find more locally. Still a very populated area. And since I’ve joined. I get random messages on the meetup app from men. I’m not digging that. But I’ll totally look into the facebook thing. We cannot say it’s for lack of trying on my part
Today I wanted to quit my job. Seriously. We all did in my department. We have been beyond capacity and then we were supposed to have a meeting to look at work flow to see how we can improve and streamline it so we aren’t so overwhelmed and be more present at the bedside. Well, that went to crap. Our manager had her own agenda and it actually gave us MORE work. Then she proceeded to tell us she has to defend us all the time because our units finds us “unapporachable” which I know is a whole bunch of BS. We all left feeling like no matter what we do, it’s never enough. And lately I am sacrificing my daughter and I haven’t been liking it. So why even try? Why burn myself out into the ground?
Then tonight my partner at work we’re in tied to our unit Christmas party. Which was in my town! Yay!!! My partner had been off all week and I told her what transpired. She was in shock. We were taking about to with our unit and they said they had never felt so comfortable with us as case managers and that we totally approachable and one nurse called us “lifesavers” . We are probably the only unit where the nurses come and hang out in our office or come to openly discuss. Cases.
Well, we had the best time At our party. It was nice to actually go to a holiday party again. We had a very fun white elephant. Drank wine, ate, had so many laughs.
Talk about online dating. My coworker who is dating the guy who had messaged me though online dating brought her Bf. He was married to Someone I knew growing up but they recently divorced. When he messaged me through OLD I actually said “ aren’t you married to so and so??” Our kids used to dance together too. Not long after he messaged me He started dating the coworker.
Anyways. I’m going to try to go into work woth a good attitudes but the more I think about it...... my daughter is at an age where I can go back to bedside nursing. I can do the 12.5 hour shifts and she can be ok. I’m thinking my time is coming to perhaps to go back to that. I always said I would when she got older. Something to consider. Because I’m going to burn out hard if this doesn’t get any better
Another weekend alone with me, myself, and I. I didn’t even leave the house yesterday. Work was so bad last week I was totally shot. I wasn’t going to go to our groups holiday party because I worked so late and had an awful headache... but I showed up. And people actually cheered! I’m glad I went. We are all pretty fed up at work. Our boss is pretty bad. What she did was so wrong. And we are pretty tired of working these long days with no compensation and only to be demoralized.
Anyways. So yesterday, alone, all day, in my jammies. I needed it. I cleaned the house, did laundry, took a few naps, etc. I needed it. Today I went and got an oil change and went to the gym. And my plantar fasciitis is back now that I’m running. I had surgery on one foot, but it’s pretty bad in the other. I need to shop for better sneakers. But I got my exercise in.
My dad informed me that him and his wife are coming Friday night and staying all the way through until Christmas night. We will be away together from Saturday and Sunday. I’m a little nervous. I give up my room..... which is a pain because I got to work and get ready in there. But at least they will be with D 12 when she is off mo day and Tuesday. For half the day on Christmas Eve, she wants to go see her stepmothers parents. Which I said was fine as long as she was home by the time I got home from work. My stepmother said she would make dinner one night. And my daughter has a sleepover at her friends that Tuesday night.
So. I have a confession. I feel like such a loser that I can spend a whole weekend alone. I don’t know why, but I just feel like a loser. And I get sad when I see social media and all these families doing chritmassy things together.... couples doing the same. And hey! It’s me and my dog!
At least I didn’t do anything stupid like text M. He’s been on my mind. I didn’t sign up for online dating either. Although the funny thing is I had time this month to date, but next month I start my new job.....
This is my life. I don’t know where I’m going. I feel like I will continue to be alone for another 12 years. Just hoping for this amazing guy to swoop in and like me so much that is potent and loving, thinks my life is as important as his and is willing to do what he needs to be a part of it.
gonna tell ya what I've heard: feelings aren't facts . they really aren't, but they sure feel like they are.
I don't think you're a loser. You show up for your life every day.. You've put your daughter first and have a relationship with exh and his apow wife that allows your daughter to have a normal, healthy relationship with both her parents. That's amazing.
You're beautiful and if I'm your hero, let me tell ya, you are mine. xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
You’re not a loser you’re just in a transition period. This time of the year is tough on us northerners for sure. Even though I was married for 3 out of the last 4 Christmas’ they were pretty lonely and empty for me. That’s how many married people on SM feel and it’s all fake. I’m optimistic now that this will be my last lonely Christmas without a SO. You should be too. 2020 will be your year I am sure of it.
Thanks. Because I was really feeling kind of pathetic. I was reflecting back on the year. I started a new job. I had yet another surgery . This one really didn’t have to do with my health, but was a little rough on the body image. I fell in love again! I also lost love again in the same year. I’ve had financial set backs.
It’s been a roller coaster of a year. And every year has been a roller coaster of a year. And I’ve faced most of my challenges alone. One would think it gets easier over time. But honestly, after so many years, it’s getting harder. I crave stability badly. I know I should be providing my own, and I do to the best of my ability. But a little comfort, peace of mind, things not going off the rails and someone by my side to lean to when it does. It’s what I need. Every year I say “this year is going to be my year” and well, I get teased, but it really never is. Each year is challenge.
But I’m going to hold on a little hope. This year will be my year.
In the meantime I am absolutely dreading work today . I can’t take another week of 9+ hour days of working like a dog. I pray it’s better
Today was interesting. After last weeks h@lll week, I show up to work and they tell us we are had 3 call outs. Which left us severely short handed and me handling my whole huge floor. 2 of us had 10 more patients than everyone else. I was one of them. They said “do what you can” but admittedly said whatever we don’t do, we have to catch up with. I left at 4:30 ( half hour later than quitting time) because I had to go grocery shopping, cook dinner and take the dog to the vet.
And get this. Our crazy witch manager made us go to her meditation gong emersion. You heard me right. I hated it it. I will not get that hour back of my life. The hints were so loud, I couldn’t relax and they were giving me anxiety. She said we needed to go so we could relax and have a work life balance. See, a work life balance to me is getting home to my child on time! My relationship with my coworkers on my floor is growing though. They are such a great group.
I also forgot my phone today. It was quite liberating being disconnected today. And when I was getting my morning coffee, I swear a guy was checking me out. We locked eyes. And smiled. His eyes were a beautiful blue, which I have always been a sucker for. The only brown eyes I have ever actually dated my exH I also realize I have thing for blue collar workers. He was some guy on some bright yellow vest about to do physical work.... and I like that. I’ve dated a plumber, HVAC,FF........ I’m totally into the blue collar guys. Probably because I like manly men. I’ve never dated a suited up man before. M was kind of techie too, working and fixing phone systems. I guess it’s my thing. Maybe I need to change it up. The last guy was a creative director for a large make up company..... that was different for me. In case you can’t tell. I miss men. Lol. I think this might be one of my longer periods of no men at all. And I miss having a guy. But y’all knew that already.
I spent $300 updating my dogs vaccines today. I am hurting for money so badly. Even with another job, I feel like I’ll never catch up. I feel more like I need 2 jobs. I actually had tears leaving the vet today. I’m never going to get ahead. And probably will never get even.
One income in NJ is really freakin’ hard to live on. I can’t wait to blow this joint. One day.
Last edited by job; 12/17/1901:06 AM. Reason: edited a word
One income in NJ is really freakin’ hard to live on. I can’t wait to blow this joint. One day.
I think I read you are a nurse right? Come out west and you will find a job easy. The COL is a lot better than Jersey.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
