You're already separated, minimal contact, and divorce pending--I'm not sure there's much you can do to prevent him from seeking occasional intimacy or new relationships.
Stupid question does this completely and totally end my chances to reconcile?
If you remember I got caught chatting online with a man 6 years ago. It was plutonic (WAH agrees) so he got over that. He grilled me until he was satisfied he'd dug up all my skeletons. One of them was I'd cheated on him while were dating (3 months after we met). He was also angry that my "number" was higher than his. I actually thought (still do) that the only way for him to get past that was to sleep with someone else. I truly to the depths of my soul understand why he'd need to do that to regain his manhood. Sex to him was so sacred and holy. He needs to hurt me to forgive me. Needs to punish me. I get it I truly do.
Something is driving him to feel he should (a) keep secret from his father that he knows, (b) tell you, (c) not tell his father that he's told you. I say "The Why" is curious because I wouldn't want my kids to feel they had to be secret agents or keep things hidden and I'd wonder how to make him more comfortable.
He doesn't want WAH to be angry with him. He told me because he needed to tell someone. He won't tell WAH that I know because he doesn't want WAH to be angry with him.
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For today, given this wretched news, caring for yourself probably already sets a big enough challenge.
Stupid question does this completely and totally end my chances to reconcile?
That he's having an affair? If it did there would hardly ever be reconciled couples, because one or the other or both almost always engage in an affair after S and especially after D. Technically after D it's not really an affair, and many would argue that it's not really after S either. I'm sure more details will eventually come out but I would encourage you not to pry the kids for info. I made the mistake of asking one of my daughters about OM early on until she told me to stop because it upset her to talk about it. I never asked any of them again, after she said something I realized how insensitive it was for me to ask.
Guess this explains why he's being so nice to me. He's happy.
Actually if there's an OW I would expect him to be avoiding you and your house like the plague. It's odd that he's coming over and doing stuff. He's not really cake-eating because he seems to only come over when you're not around. You'd think he would be worried that it would upset OW if she found out.
That he's having an affair? If it did there would hardly ever be reconciled couples, because one or the other or both almost always engage in an affair after S and especially after D. Technically after D it's not really an affair, and many would argue that it's not really after S either.
I'm stupid for asking. Anyone is better than me.
Divorce papers soon?
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I'm sure more details will eventually come out but I would encourage you not to pry the kids for info. I made the mistake of asking one of my daughters about OM early on until she told me to stop because it upset her to talk about it. I never asked any of them again, after she said something I realized how insensitive it was for me to ask.
I knew if there was someone else I'd know after he got his own place. I don't like prying because nothing good ever comes of it. What I don't know can't hurt me.
Guess this explains why he's being so nice to me. He's happy.
Actually if there's an OW I would expect him to be avoiding you and your house like the plague. It's odd that he's coming over and doing stuff. He's not really cake-eating because he seems to only come over when you're not around. You'd think he would be worried that it would upset OW if she found out.
FWB? He knows I don't want to see him (hurts too much). He just came over the one time because I was the one saying no. He said he wanted to come back but he had to work all weekend.
After one sleepover?! With many single parents, the impetus to finalize the divorce comes when they're ready to get married again. You can't control when he's ready, only when you're ready.
After one sleepover?! With many single parents, the impetus to finalize the divorce comes when they're ready to get married again. You can't control when he's ready, only when you're ready.
Kas, I know you like numbers. I found a small study (23 participants) citing the median length of a rebound relationship entered into within 7 months of break-up as being 2 months. 70% of all adult relationships fail according to other studies, and many sites claim it's 90%+ for rebounds.
