I'm sorry you are here as well. You're right, only I can decide when enough is enough. Honestly, I don't know if this pattern with W will ever stop, this is the 4th time she's left in 6 years. In fact, most of my family think that she would have done this with any partner. It's who she is.
I'm sorry you are here as well. You're right, only I can decide when enough is enough. Honestly, I don't know if this pattern with W will ever stop, this is the 4th time she's left in 6 years. In fact, most of my family think that she would have done this with any partner. It's who she is.
That is awful to have to go through. Of course it is impossible to say with any certainty if she would do this with anyone else, but I completely understand your family's sentiments.
If she wasn't in a state where she did not want to talk to you at all, I might recommend laying it all out on the table, but I think that is not an option at this point for you. It seems you and I are in the same boat there.
Originally Posted by Thornton
That doesn't mean I don't love her dearly.
I absolutely understand and I have the same feelings for my W. That's why I told her she is free to go, because at the end of the day I do want her to be happy, even if that is not with me. As hard as that would be, it is how I feel.
I have come to the conclusion that regardless of the outcome, I will always love her. I also will not fight with her, but I will kindly but firmly state and keep my boundaries.
Yeah, I don't know. For me I used to dress up and party and stuff like that when I was younger. Now I do more yoga than usual, get a couple of good books, avoid alcohol or coffee. I try to look good and get pedicures, facials, buy clothes, stuff like that, but it's for me. If someone is too insecure then yeah, they'll want validation from others.
Either way, you can't know if they're doing it for others or for themselves, but you also shouldn't care too much.
I received a text from W today. d12 (my stepdaughter) went to the school counselor and said she was suicidal. They took her to the hospital and put her on a 72 hour hold.
I’m worried sick. I went and visited with her and W at the hospital and W made sure to mention that D12 was feeling this way because a boy showed her his private parts 4 years ago. I didn’t respond, but I wanted to tell W that maybe, just maybe D12 is upset she’s being uprooted again for the 15th time.
I’m so mad at W. She is taking zero responsibility for what’s happening. She simply cannot accept fault (or even some fault) or responsibility for her actions.
My anxiety is sky high and I’m not sure what to do.
I’m worried sick. I went and visited with her and W at the hospital and W made sure to mention that D12 was feeling this way because a boy showed her his private parts 4 years ago. I didn’t respond, but I wanted to tell W that maybe, just maybe D12 is upset she’s being uprooted again for the 15th time.
Wow.
It must be insanely frustrating. Good job biting your tongue. D12, either directly or through counselors, will hopefully speak up about what's really bother her. It's easier to ignore you than to ignore her.
Good job on not giving her the money she was wanting. Repayment for groceries and a small portion of rent is ridiculous. Be on guard, she's gonna ask for money again. The "this solidifies who you are" comment was an attempt to manipulate you unto giving it to her. My WW tried the same thing A LOT. She wants you to feel like there is still a chance of R, but you are blowing it by not giving her what she wants. Don't fall for it. She made all the decision to move out. The expenses that accompany that are all on her...
Sorry to hear about D12. It's horrible that she's in that situation, but I highly doubt she wants to kill herself because some kid showed her his junk 4 years ago. I think WW is grasping at any reason that this could be happening where it's not her fault. She's deep in the fog...
Stick to your guns, man. You may not see it now, but I think in the near future you'll see how much better you are without her. You've definitely given her more than enough chances to work on things. You'll feel better once you detach and aren't involved in her craziness anymore. This weekend will be tough, but look at it as a new beginning. You've got this...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
I went and visited with her and W at the hospital and W made sure to mention that D12 was feeling this way because a boy showed her his private parts 4 years ago.
She doesn't know why D12 is lashing out.
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I’m so mad at W. She is taking zero responsibility for what’s happening. She simply cannot accept fault (or even some fault) or responsibility for her actions.
And neither do you. This isn't the time for you to try to blame W, this is a time you BOTH need to COME TOGETHER to support D12, not go pointing your fingers at each other, or some boy from 4 years ago or whatever. Let D know you love her unconditionally, and despite the differences between you and W that you are both there for her. She needs your love now more than ever.
And let the professionals handle this. I'm sure they will have suggestions on therapy and counseling, by all means pursue that. Don't try to intervene to "fix" her yourselves, it's important for you to treat D like she's normal and not like something is wrong with her.
Today is move out day. W should be at the house with her team grabbing her things. I decided I didn’t want to be there so I’m out running errands , and will hit up Buffalo Wild Wings to have a few cold ones and cheer in my Broncos. It feels surreal that this day has once again arrived.
Something funny though, I was at a department store earlier and walked past the mirror. I am literally wearing the same shirt I was wearing when I received bomb drop #2. I literally chuckled when I saw that.
