I got a bit needy today and I could tell it didn't have a good effect on him. I asked if he wanted to do something or hang out, he said he wanted to go take care of the car and things like that and he didn't want to do anything with me. That hurt a lot.
I think I'm kinda losing hope and interest. This is very tiring. Anyone else tired of going through this?
Sure you are tired of this because you are expecting instant results and it takes lots and lots of time to turn things around.
You need to detach and go about your life. You need to give him plenty of space and time. He can't miss you or the things that you use to do if you are asking him to do things. One of the hardest things to do is go back to where it all began in your relationship. You use to be independent and did things for yourself w/o him being around...that is what you need to do now. When he sees that you are going about your business and not giving a fig as to what he is doing, he just might become curious and want to do things w/you.
They can't stand their partners being needy. They are at this time very selfish and self-centered and do not have any interest in satisfying someone else or their wants/needs....they can only focus on themselves.
Keep your expectations at zero at all times and you won't get disappointed, hurt of upset when he says no.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You're right. I think the reason why I was able to make progress in the past few weeks is because I was doing my own thing, he was the one coming to me and trying to talk and hang out. I'll keep focusing on long term results instead of immediate ones. I hope this little incident won't affect my progress. What should i do about physical affection? He wants me to hold him and touch him a lot. i usually agree, but is that bad?
He came back from running errands and said that after his trip we never talked about us. I asked what he wanted to say, he said I should move out by the end of the month (the reason why I'm the one who needs to move out is because my income is not enough to pay for this place).
I said I didn't think there was anything else I needed to say, he said I hadn't argued about it or said anything regarding that subject so he was just wondering. I said I had nothing else to add. I kind of froze because things had been good between us the past few weeks so it was kind of unexpected. I also didn't want to just start crying and all that so I stayed quiet. Then he tried to get me to watch a movie but it was in a different language so I told him I wasn't following and i'd rather not watch it. I came to the room and I'm watching something else on my own.
What reaction should I have had? I don't know what else to do or say. It's like he expected me to say something or try to change his mind or something, which I obviously want him to do, but I can't just say anything anyway.
Yes. Show him what life without you looks like. Don’t be cold. Act as if you understand and agree with him. Your goal should be to get him to feel like you agree and that you are going to go on with your life.
Would you say the way I reacted was good? I don't want to make him think I don't care at all, but I know being needy and begging has the opposite effect.
I couldn’t sleep very well. He came to bed and tried to cuddle and have sex. It was hurtful. I barely slept.
I felt like staying in bed and sleeping all day, but I got dressed up and left the house. He asked why I was so dressed up and I said I was going out. He asked where I was going and I just said brunch and left.
I came to my favorite bookstore and I’m on my second cup of coffee. I’m sad, but I won’t let this get the best of me again.
