Well the very next day I get a call from the paramour’s wife. She received a letter from some teacher at school that claimed her husband and my wife were having an affair and it was obvious. I told her only what I witnessed with him dropping her off in the woods in a dirt road. I couldn’t bring myself to telling her everything I knew.
She was very angry and upset. She wants them both fired. I feel so bad for her because she works at another school in the district. Her school is 2 miles away. I’m just blessed that I work in another district 40 miles away.
Not sure where this will go from here. She said she wanted to talk again and I don’t think I can hurt her by telling her everything I know. Any suggestions on handling this situation? Anyone with any experience?
Lies and evil thrive in the darkness. They need to have light shone on them to dissipate.
Look, you know the truth, and OMs spouse strongly suspects. This is a somewhat different sitch than if she suspected nothing. She has asked you point blank. If you don't tell her what you know you are aiding and abetting the adulterers. There are lies of omission as well as lies of commission.
JMHO.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
Well a lot has happened in the past three days. I let the OM wife know the details. She actually was able to know all the details. This may be unprecedented to be able to know every single detail due to the messaging game they used. She is probably going to divorce her husband but not sure. My wife was in a lot of pain the past two days with being away from him and no contact. I tried to help as it was tough to see her crying all day. I did not stay home from work but she called me constantly. Her attitude seemed to change all of a sudden so I knew she had contacted him somehow. I asked her point blank and she admitted to calling him. She has been honest and she claims she feels responsible for him having to go through a divorce and for him feeling so badly. She said she could tell he was down and out and she had never seen him this way before. I thanked her for being honest and admitting for calling him. She also admitted that she had a strong desire to continue to talk to him and that they wouldn’t be physical at all anymore. She is scared the OM’s wife will have both of them fired since she has all the information of them talking and having sex at school. I honestly am deflated that she has admitted she is addicted to the situation but I appreciate her honesty. I have told her that if she continues the deception and lies then I will move forward with divorce. I cannot continue to live in this situation and I have made up my mind that I will not love like this If she continues to hide her phone and sleep in another room then I will ask her for a divorce. I don’t think I can continue to live with this knowing she doesn’t really know what she wants.
Your W feels bad for the hard times her OM is having...what about her H?
She wants to talk to OM and just be "friends" is it?
I have no sympathy for the OM and neither should you. You probably ought to give your W some space for a while bc you don't want to be talking to her about all that garbage.
Her sleeping in the other room, for the time being, is fine. Hell with all the craziness lately, you'd be sending the wrong message by trying to get her to come back to the MBR. Her phone is not the problem either, she is.
Focus on you, protect yourself, grow, heal, learn. Don't dance so close to the fire anymore my friend.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Thank you for the encouragement. It’s been rough knowing she cares more about him than me. Not sure we can recover and she is not sure if she wants to put in the work to rebuild trust or our relationship. This blog has really helped me.
You are not her emotional tampon to get her through the struggles she is currently have with OM. Don't take her calls at work because you are too busy. Give her time and space and see what happens. In time they will most likely take the A underground. Actions always tell the truth.
Hey BB, wws are selfish. I was one of them some time ago. We live that double life with guilt and anxiety. We are all time under that fog. That´s why we say DB is for each one of the LBS. You DB for yourself.
Keep DB then.
Patience, moving forward. Get into amoafwl. Don´t wait for crumbs. Go man!
(((BB)))
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
