Midlife wife crisis9

[AnotherStander]

I read on here and I have talked about the “fog”. Is there really one? I have not seen my w even remotely look like she was coming out of it, like I said I really believe she loves this new found freedom.

It took my XW years before she started acting like her old self. And she has slowly been transforming to who she used to be, although she does still retain elements of the "new her" too. She's gone through a transformation of sorts. My XW actually loves her "freedom" too, she's doing a lot of traveling now. We never did much traveling during our M, but it wasn't a priority for her then, her family was her number one priority. She still loves the kids and yes she loves me and she enjoys doing stuff with them and with me. But she is much more independent now. More power to her, I think it's great. You've got to get to that point too, where you no longer blame her but accept that whatever she is going through is bigger than you and bigger than her and she needs room to explore it and see where it goes. Maybe it'll lead back to you and maybe not, but if you truly love her you will be happy for her no matter what.

I really miss my kids when I don’t have them.

Of course you do. But it's inevitable that they will grow up and move away at some point anyway. Much as a joy as parenthood is, it's fleeting. You need to find who you are as a person as well as a parent. And when you have your parenting time be the ultimate dad. When you don't have them then be the ultimate Wolfman.

Let’s put it this way too. My Siberian husky is 16. That’s really old for a big dog to live that long. Well she has a little trouble walking on occasion, when she sits for a while it’s hard for her to get up, but once she is up she is fine. My w said the other day, I think we should put her down. I said why, because she can’t always walk, I said she is just slow getting up but once she is up she is fine. She then proceeded to say to me, then you can take care of her. She doesn’t want any responsibility and basically wants to put my dog down because she doesn’t want to take care of it anymore.

You should really make arrangements- move or whatever it takes so that the dog is under your care. That's a lot of responsibility that your W doesn't want. That is a VERY advanced age for a Husky.

[Wolfman]

I am very confused on what to do. My w is going away on Monday for 4 days. Where do I stay in the house? Do I stay in the master bedroom? Or the basement couch? It smells down there and like mildew. I hate this!!! My own house and I feel like a stranger!!!!

All of you were so right. Should have never left and gave her that power. I am so mad at myself!!! Mr. Niceguy has done nothing but set me back!!!

[LH19]

Stay where ever you feel comfortable.

[AnotherStander]

I am very confused on what to do. My w is going away on Monday for 4 days. Where do I stay in the house? Do I stay in the master bedroom? Or the basement couch? It smells down there and like mildew. I hate this!!! My own house and I feel like a stranger!!!!

All of you were so right. Should have never left and gave her that power. I am so mad at myself!!! Mr. Niceguy has done nothing but set me back!!!

This is a no-brainer, sleep in YOUR master bedroom in YOUR bed.

[Ready2Change]

I am very confused on what to do. My w is going away on Monday for 4 days. Where do I stay in the house? Do I stay in the master bedroom? Or the basement couch? It smells down there and like mildew. I hate this!!! My own house and I feel like a stranger!!!!

All of you were so right. Should have never left and gave her that power. I am so mad at myself!!! Mr. Niceguy has done nothing but set me back!!!

Do you want to move back in? This is a good opportunity.

[Wolfman]

I am very confused on what to do. My w is going away on Monday for 4 days. Where do I stay in the house? Do I stay in the master bedroom? Or the basement couch? It smells down there and like mildew. I hate this!!! My own house and I feel like a stranger!!!!

All of you were so right. Should have never left and gave her that power. I am so mad at myself!!! Mr. Niceguy has done nothing but set me back!!!

Do you want to move back in? This is a good opportunity.

I know it is but she already started to refinance. So one she refinances it won’t be my house any longer anyway. Should be done real soon. So I don’t feel like there is a point to. When I would have to move right back out.

As far as where I am going to sleep, it will be wherever I want to.

Last 2 days have been rough. I went away Saturday and Saturday night I got a call from my w that my dog was not doing well. My dog had to be put down. She was 16 years old. And of course because I wasn’t around I just keep hearing how hard it was for the kids to go through this. I just validate that it is hard for the kids to experience it. I’m tired of her complaining that she had to take care of it. I was away for one night, like I knew that was going to happen. Again, not that it matters but again I’m painted as the bad guy because I wasn’t around. Meanwhile she just left for 4 days. So she can go away for 4 days I am gone 1 night and I am bad? Again it doesn’t matter what she thinks or says just tired of the double standard. I am exhausted of this “new” life. I was just watching the movie click and would love to fast forward 2 years. Maybe by that point my life would be better.

[IHCLACS]

Sorry to hear about your family pet Wolf. Im sure it was hard for everyone, and you, especially not being there, maybe it was a blessing you werent? Get used to the double standard though, and make a mental note of it because they all do it.

[Wolfman]

I have to laugh. I was going to go into the master bedroom to put my clothes in there and she locked the bedroom. What a b*t€h!! Guess I will be sleeping in my sons bed!!!

[Wolfman]

Amazing how cold and nasty she has become. I am ready to pick the lock for 2 reasons. 1 because it’s still my house and I hate how she thinks she can do whatever she wants. 2. To sleep in a bed. I honestly think my w is the worse on here. I read many situations but she doesn’t quit, she just keeps getting colder and more bitter to me and we are a year in. It’s amazing how she “looks” at me. Like I am some disgusting horrible person. Oh well. Took my kids on a 2 hour bike ride today. Going to a friends house to make s’mores. Had a great day with the kids!!

[Ready2Change]

Enjoy that bed.