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ozman Offline OP
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LH. so since I’m not sure about an EA I just ignore it? Do they usually intensify and turn into a PA? I hope not. But I just ignore it? If it is there. And that’s still a fairly big if. When do I blow it up?

I’m workin on me. Hence the new thread name. I’m definitely a lot better than I was a month or so ago. But I have a long way to go

R2C. Thanks! It’s nice that things have improved enough between us that I’m asking questions about touching. Sigh. I glad we are getting along so well. We are like best friends right now.

I will google smiling eyes. Thank you

How do I learn her love language?


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
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Oz,

You only ignore it if you’re not going to do anything about it. If you blow it up and she doesn’t stop will there be consequences? If so what are they?

What are your values? Are you ok sharing your W physically or emotionally with another man?

There are many red flags in your sitch and I think your gut is telling you something. You can’t re-attract her if she is giving herself emotionally or physically to another man.

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ozman Offline OP
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What are the reasons for ignoring? If I don’t how do I approach her about it. I don’t have a way to prove. Everyone has said you have to have proof


Also if she was in an A would things be getting better between us?


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
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Bd 5-31-19
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You would ignore if you’re not going to do anything about it because it would make you look weak.

You would approach her and let her know that you won’t live in an open marriage and if she continues there will be consequences. If she continues you must implement the consequences. They must be strong. Separation/Divorce as an example.

If you want proof you can get proof. Phone records or a private investigator.

Better how? Because she’s nice to you? You took the pressure off so she’s nicer to you. Is there something else we don’t know about?

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ozman Offline OP
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I would defiantly do something about it. There have been people in here say that I need to do a lot of DBing first though. To be AMOAFWL. And then lower the boom on an A. I can’t afford PI. there is no way to find out what’s on FB Messenger. Like Snapchat. Those apps are perfect for cheaters. On the other hand. Her sisters and her family use FB messenger all the time with her. So it may be them talking to her. The best I could do right now is accuse her or ask her.

Part of me feels like I haven’t given this near enough time either. Good thing is I dont feel emotional about it at all. I want her back. But I’m not going to play games


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T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
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Can you look at her phone when she’s in the shower?

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Personally, from what you have told us, I don't think you should snoop. I am a firm believer in gathering Intel, but only if you can handle what you find and take the correct action. I don't believe you are there yet.

Educate yourself first. Read this thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2039619&page=all


For now, just assume you are competing with a fantasy. Keep focused on your personal growth and traits that are attractive to all woman in general.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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ozman Offline OP
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I can’t its password protected.

Ok R2C. I’ll read it. I wonder why I’m getting so anxious when things are steadily improving. I stick by what I said a long time ago. My sitch is just like Steve’s from DR. Slow steady improvements. I wonder why I’m getting impatient


Me 32. W. 30
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Password protected. Another red flag.

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ozman Offline OP
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So is mine. Ours always have been


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
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