I think she still would be because in her mind I still don't think it's enough time together. She wants to be with me every moment she can be and I think she would say you had alone time Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, etc.
I will see her tonight and again Friday night and again in some capacity on Saturday as well. She has mentioned me coming over to her house with my girls and having a sleepover. Make no bones about it but the Dr. is trying to hold herself back but is full steam ahead.
LOL G...…..she is down with what J9 is throwing out there! I am not ready to be married again. My dad told me I need to be prepared for when she asks me.
She clearly is not playing hard to get, tries to spend all the time she can in the world with you, wants your girls to have sleepovers at her house ( prepping them for moving in?) sounds like a very giving person all about you all the time.
And this is a turn on? Doesn’t deter you at all?
Reading “why men love b!tches” and I am probably a lot like your doctor in the way I treat my man, but probably a tiny less. But really, neither of us are “bitches”.
So her turning it all the way up makes you want to come closer and not farther?
G - I will say it has taken me time to get used to and have had to find my attraction in other ways. I have had to find my attraction in how sweet she is and how feminine she is towards me, submissive. I am still learning how to figure it out though. Any smart man, one that was mature, would want a woman like the dr. assuming they were attracted.
Her turning it up makes me feel neutral but it also gives me confidence. All along I have felt in control of my emotions and it doesn't bother me because I know that ultimately I am not married yet and that is my choice to make. I have no problems with my girls meeting her because again she is such a good person and I know that they are better off for it even if we ultimately don't get married.
IMO women like you and the dr. need a giver and not a taker. You need someone that really appreciates all the things you do for your man not just take it for granted. I often tell the dr. how sweet she is, how caring, how loving, how giving, how lucky I am that I met her. Sure I say I love you but again, IMO sometimes those are just words and doesn't necessarily convey why.
Men love bitches because they pose a challenge, they are not easy to obtain, they play games, you don't know where they stand, they don't make plans, they don't initiate contact, the essentially want the man to do all the work.
Knowing what I know now that is not a way to build a relationship. The dr. makes it easy on me, lets me be the man, doesn't [censored] test me, lets me lead, really helps give me confidence in my role as a leader. I think that is what a good woman does.
I have read a lot and learned a lot but there is way more to it then how they look. Again, I am still a work in progress
If I am dating a woman and she backed off I would not chase her assuming I had not backed off. If I backed off and she didn’t I would assume she eventually would and then it would be up to me to reach out and initiate things.
M knows he has changed, is busy, or whatever he has going on. If you respect yourself back off and don’t chase him. Show him your value don’t come across as desperate and needy. No different than we tell the LBS.
It's been a while since we hi-jacked J9's thread so I'm going to chime in here too.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Picking your brain here........
She clearly is not playing hard to get, tries to spend all the time she can in the world with you, wants your girls to have sleepovers at her house ( prepping them for moving in?) sounds like a very giving person all about you all the time.
And this is a turn on? Doesn’t deter you at all?
Reading “why men love b!tches” and I am probably a lot like your doctor in the way I treat my man, but probably a tiny less. But really, neither of us are “bitches”.
So her turning it all the way up makes you want to come closer and not farther?
The corollary of this is "why do nice guys finish last" or "why do women prefer bad boys". As somebody who seems to be in the "nice guy but" category I feel qualified to weigh in here.
For me, I'm extremely flattered when any woman shows interest in me and as we have I'm sure talked about in the past, I am vulnerable - perhaps in a good way - to any woman who pursues. If they then play coy and hard to get then that's confusing for me and certainly not attractive.
If a woman were to come up to me and tell me - "you're fascinating - have a slice of pizza" I would be immediately smitten. If she then listened to my long boring stories and followed it with "tell me more about how oxalic acid interacts with various materials" I'd probably propose marriage. My ex was really good at this. In fact it was one of the things I first loved about her. How she paid attention and remembered.
I know that there's been talk here on Channel J9 about "the coach" and various rules and techniques for being "alpha" and attracting a "quality" mate. Personally I regard most of that as a combination of BS and stuff that I'm not interested in.
I do think though too that there is a difference between when you are "just dating" and "in a relationship" You and M are transitioning through that. I do know though that my ex-wife, for our entire marriage made sure that I never left the door without a hug, kiss and ILU. She was somewhat jealous and certainly possessive, especially after she started her affair. I "never" doubted that she loved me - even after she chose another man though. Having that certainty behind me was in many ways the rock of my personal self identity.
Now - obviously every relationship and every person is different. What I like, what J9 likes and what M likes are undoubtedly very different things. I do know that when I was dating B - the fact that she wasn't available was more a frustration than anything that attracted me to her. I was most attracted when she was "present". I would have been even more attracted if I knew she was "all in" - but that never happened.
Just my 2 cents. We now return to the story of J9 and his doctor.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Ok....back to regularly scheduled programming. Went over and saw the Dr. last night, had some wine, and picked out our hotel for the upcoming concert we are going to.
We have date night tomorrow night and then Saturday night she is wanting to do something with the kids, take them out to her ranch in the country or have dinner and a sleep over. The ranch would be boring for the kids as their is no WIFI, one kid would be fine but not all three of them. That wouldn't be pleasurable for anyone involved so it might just be a pizza night or something.
My oldest starts her soccer season on Saturday as well with the season opening tournament so I am looking forward to that as well.
The topic of my XW came up as the Dr. brought it up last night. She told me that when we were out of town last weekend the friends (the wife) that we went with (they are the parents of my youngest daughters best friend) mentioned to the Dr. that my XW made some statement that she was only going to have her BF come over on the weekends. I have no clue how they got on that subject or how he or my XW came up but according to the friend my XW realizes he is not the one and mentioned to her that no one will be the one. Anyway, I thought that was interesting but the Dr. couldn't understand how you could just tell someone to come over on the weekends and nothing more.
Who knows, none of my concern but I am not too shocked.
