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Have fun G....are you guys doing that bar on wheels thing where you peddle around town?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Thanks! We did have it booked, but we decided to cancel it. They give you ONE stop. I need to pee more than once if I’m drinking . Too much work. We do have a party bus tour with a bartender and a DJ. Then we have a male revue in the VIP section. We got the bride in the “hot seat” and I got my dolla bills!

I’m in the airport now. . I can’t wait to surprise her!!!

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Sounds like a ton of fun Ginger!!! Have a fantastic time!!!

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Sweet! I never understood the appeal of peddling around town. I heard you had to bring your own booze. It looked like too much work to me!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Hello all! I’m going to keep it short and sweet and not even start a new threAd.

I had a blast in Nashville. My friend was so happy I was her surprise. She brought her friends from where she lives who is in the wedding party. We can’t stand her. She’s attention seeking, cheats on her husband and it’s all she talks about. We are afraid she will do something stupid and take the spotlight away from her on her wedding day. We are NOT going to let that happen. But what a fun fun city. I felt 21 again! Dancing on an own roof party bus dancing on the bar at coyote ugly....so much fun!

M enjoyed his solo vacay as well. He stayed in frequent contact and was very sweet and missed me. Some days he seems so into me others he can be kind of matter o fact. I’ve been trying to figure it out, and I think I kind of have. It upsets me sometimes because I feel like I am going nuts. He picked me up from the airport, brought me to breakfast and we spent during the day together. It was very nice he spoke of bribing the kids up to the vacation spot next year.

I struggle sometimes with what our future holds and what he’s thinking. He seems to be in it for the long run, but we never talked about what that meant. Moving in? Getting married? I have no clue. In a month we will have been together for a year. I figure after that point we can discuss what we see for the future in the next few years.

I also realize comparison is the thief of joy. I ready and hear about other people’s relationship shops thinking my guy should want to spend any moment he can with me. But he doesn’t. And that’s probably just what’s notnright for us. We both have lots of responsibilities and it’s not always possible.

I also have to take some time to focus on myself and my health. It’s been tough to not be active in the gym and gain the weight. And I saw a bunch of pictures of myself from this trip and I’m kind of disgusted. And I’m panicking about my physical because I bet my cholesterol is high.

I need to take care of myself and my health. Slowly but surely. I want to get back to where I was.

So I’m taking some me time, to focus on my health, my thoughts, my relationship, with as little pouting in from the outside as I can

I really need to begin to trust myself and rebuild my confidence

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Ginger...very happy to hear you enjoyed your Nashville trip! Such an awesome place to have fun for girls and guys!

You know some guys really just are unclear about what they want in a relationship OR know, but don't know how to express it OR there's a million dating sites that tell guys to stay mysterious/unclear in our feelings to keep a lady's attraction and curiousity high. Thing is though at a year mark as you've invested the time in him and the relationship, he should be aware of what he wants AND willing to talk with you about it. It sounds like you need to begin bringing up those conversations with him. The most important thing is that you need to define what it is YOU see and want for your future together and then not settle for less.

Working on yourself in the gym, with your health, etc is a great thing to be doing. Keeping the focus on YOUR life first and working with him over time to see if you two have the same future plans in mind will pay off for you in the end.

-B


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
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The gym is a good place to start G. Stay focused on yourself and the rest will fall into place.

You are right every R is different. My buddy moved in with his girlfriend after 1.5 years of dating and they lived together for another 1.5 years before they got engaged. She has her kids full time, and he has the normal state law dad visitation only because he travels for work.

I personally could see myself and the dr. getting married however it’s not right yet. However I know we are both on the same page so I am not concerned.

You seem to question M and has actions towards you rather frequently. Is it your own insecurities or is something missing that you need and are not getting?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
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Thanks! It’s been difficult for me, because while never skinny, I’ve been in very good physical shape and healthy. Good endurance, kick butt workouts, and these days it’s hard to make time and get back on track. And when I work our, i also want to eat better. My best friend is a spin instructor and has bikes in her home and we are going to start with 2 nights a week. I’ve always loved spinning. Getting there has always been an issue. My friend lives 3 min away. I want a little confidence back.

The god’s honest truth is I know what I want, but the complications of it make it seem almost impossible. I just bought a house. I want to stay in this town for D11’s school. I am pretty sure M wants to stay in his town and buy his moms house which is really nice. Do I take my child out of her school? I don’t know. I mean, it’s the town over, a great system, just not her current friends. But I do think we really need to talk about it. I know we will be a slow go. And I’m fine with that, there is no much to logistically workout.

And sure, it’s scary for me as I haven’t lived with anyone but my daughter in 11 years. I’m quite used to my own space. But I think I would love to live with him. But we do need to have the talk, even if nothing is happening soon, I need to know where this is potentially headed.

I question things with M because of insecurities and because he can be all over the place. Which gets confusing. He has admitted to loving me incredibly and I think he has to pull himself back every now and then because of the trauma he went through. It was really really bad. I’m actually amazed with the way he has allowed himself to trust me and love me after all he’s dealt with.

Time will continue to tell. I’m trying to stay much more on the present . That’s hard for me sometimes. I’ve had so much unpredictability in my life since I was a kid, I guess I kind of crave it now

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Makes sense.....i can understand the desire to want to know after a year of dating. I guess if you bring it up you just need to be ready for whatever answers you get. All of that stuff with the kids, etc. is definitely stuff you have to think about as you move forward. It complicates things. My opinion would be that he moves to you since his son is so young and hasn’t started school. I would not move your daughter. If I was dating someone in your shoes I wouldn’t want her to move either.

The dr. And I are lucky because we live in the same town and the same school district. Her house is bigger and she bought it after her divorce and it is paid off. I would sell my mine, buy something smaller and ask my mom if she wanted to move to town and live in it.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
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First of all - the guy contacted you every day while he was CAMPING. If that doesn't convince you that he's serious about you I don't know what will.
Second:
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But I think I would love to live with him. But we do need to have the talk, even if nothing is happening soon, I need to know where this is potentially headed.


No you don't need to have that conversation yet. Seriously. It's too soon. And you should just be enjoying where you are now and working on your differences in this relationship without trying to jump ahead.

As for D11 and school - would it make sense to wait a couple of years until she goes to high school? That seems like a natural transition point, many people go to different high schools and friend groups often change in high school anyway.

I understand why you crave the affirmation given your childhood, but try to be patient and let things unfold over time.

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