If he decides to meet the OW in person, this is what I plan on saying...
H: "I plan to go meet her." Me: "I cannot stop you. You can do what you want. Be prepared to find somewhere else to live if you follow through. I cannot allow you to disrespect me or our children by meeting your affair partner."
Not sure what he will say, but last time he said, "okay, I won't go." I'm not sure if by him asking me if it's a cry for help and an excuse to tell the OW "my wife said no?" I don't get him telling me he is going to do it.
Anyone have a clue or can translate why he would bother to tell me?
Did he tell you or are you speculating he will tell you?
He mentioned, after his last attempt to meet her, that he would let me know if he ever met her. Of course, he could just do it and not tell me.
Yes indeed he could and probably would. WAS's, and in particular men going through MLC, can be very sneaky. They will say things like that because they want YOU to tell THEM when YOU meet someone. They on the other hand want to keep what they are doing completely secret.
Yes indeed he could and probably would. WAS's, and in particular men going through MLC, can be very sneaky. They will say things like that because they want YOU to tell THEM when YOU meet someone. They on the other hand want to keep what they are doing completely secret.
No doubt that he wants to keep it a secret. Affairs thrive in secret! Once the affair is known the fun of it starts to go away and shame comes out.
Here's to hoping the affair comes to light soon. It's his mess to clean up, not mine.
BTW going out with friends this weekend. By myself!
Throughly enjoyed going out last week! Several good hours of not thinking of H or the A.
Just enrolled in night class and attended the first class. Now I have a something else to focus on and benefit from the class in more ways than one! 🙂
When I got home tonight H seemed sad. I asked how his dad was and he replied "just another day." I asked if he enjoyed the peace and quiet and he said he was bored.
Kids have been gone most of the week. I only called him once today and was happy when I got home. Perhaps him being alone made him realize how the future could be without his family if he decides to leave. I did feel bad for not calling after work before class, but he can't miss me if I'm available, plus he can call me if he wanted to. I hope he doesn't take it as me not caring about him. He tends to be depressed often (won't seek help) and shuts his feelings down.
"I asked how his day was and he replied "just another day." I asked if he enjoyed the peace and quiet and he said he was bored."
How does that square with DBing?
Light bulb went off in my head when I read your post! I initiated the conversion last night. Do not start conversations!!!
If he starts the conversation, then I should switch my question to "tell me about your day" instead of "how was your day." Or should I avoid asking this question altogether because it seems like pursuing?
If he starts the conversation, then I should switch my question to "tell me about your day" instead of "how was your day." Or should I avoid asking this question altogether because it seems like pursuing?
I wouldn't ask questions. Listen to understand and validate.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
