You know - I'm going to jump in with a (slightly) contrary view. While I agree it's pretty presumptuous of B to be discussing selling your place so early on, it also seems a natural thing if you're growing very close to discuss your future plans - would just likely have happened after 2 years if you hadn't moved in so quickly.
I imagine every time she goes up the stairs and her knees hurt it brings the subject up to the surface of her mind lol.
And let's all admit it is not unusual for a new partner to feel a little uncomfortable moving into the marital home of a partner's previous spouse. Some are more bothered by that than others.
And since B is a "talker" some of this may be idle chit chat or speculation and the intent may be less serious than we all assume.
Certainly if this relationship progressed after a couple of years to a lifetime commitment of some sort, it could be appropriate to consider a joint home that is practical for old age and has no pesky old memories. I imagine this comes up all the time in relationships between people in our age group. Although I miss my marital home I'm rather glad I couldn't afford to keep it - I wouldn't have wanted to live with the ghosts of my marriage.
Since you, Andrew, are admittedly not the most flexible person, I applaud you for at least considering the possibility of change in the future. And the fact that B is including you in her imaginings of your future is a good sign.
Had my interview over lunch time with the power company. A different role than I've done before and I did struggle with some of the questions. At least I didn't blow it like I did the last time almost exactly 3 years ago when I was dealing with the emotional fall-out of my ex having left the house a couple of days previously. B read the job description and I think made sense out of about 1/2 the words. Only a few less than me
Fingers crossed. It has a lot of positives to offer. Improved quality of life is certainly a big part. And I was honest about that being a motivating factor. I did laugh because as a "senior" position they were looking for someone with between 8-10 years experience. I did the math during the interview and came up with 37. I did show some honest enthusiasm for the role and it does have a bit of a cool factor. The fact that I am so local, familiar with the plant having had my brothers work there and have most of the credentials plus some not on the list will possibly help.
I have been told I have a stable position as well as the conversations I've been having with the other company I've mentioned have been positive. I feel pretty good about being able to at least put food on the table. They said that they'll be making a choice in the next few weeks - possibly without a second round of interviews.
Dealing with some other issues. B had a major falling-out with a bunch of her siblings and their kids in the last few days. The details aren't important. This is the second time she's had this issue with them and she's ranted about leaving them in her dust and going her own way. I personally doubt that will happen. Family ties are pretty strong despite them all being a pretty passionate lot. I made sympathetic noises and made sure she knew that I would be standing beside her no matter what, but that I had no part in anything going on. She appreciated that.
She's off to the former marital home this weekend and then the next weekend is with some grand-daughters at the cottage. There's a P family get-together at my youngest brother's farm on the Saturday that she's promised to make time for but won't be there long. Understandable. We'll see how things work out with her siblings. I expect it to be rocky for a while. Many swear words were used. She's had long talks with a couple of her sisters who seem to be on her side - more or less. Big families seem to mean big drama and big complications.
GS 3/4 are downstairs (I'm working from home) right now (because reasons) and I'll be taking them to the park on my own in a bit - wish me luck. B will be taking S24 out for driving practice while I do that. As I told her and S24, B having guided 4 kids through driving tests as well as doing the bus driver tests herself has been doing so much better on helping him practice than I can. And since S24 is taking his test tomorrow (hurray!!) giving him the best possible influence is the most important thing. If he does get his license, and I'm fairly confident, it will be a game-changer for us all.
Well - a small for me Wednesday update. Back to work.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
PS - Thank you kml for your input. I think more than most that you "get" where I'm coming from. The others aren't wrong but there are many versions of "right" too.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I hope that you get the position that you interviewed for today. It would mean so much more in the way of "quality of life" for you and you wouldn't have to worry about whether your current position is going to be there for a few more years.
I will keep your son in my thoughts and pray that he passes his driving test tomorrow. Who is going to go with him? Will it be you, B or your xw? He needs lots of support in the morning so that he can build up his confidence and get this over and done with. I imagine all of you can't wait until he is driving himself around.
Good luck with the kiddies. They have a lot of energy and will keep you on your toes.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
We'll see how things work out with her siblings. I expect it to be rocky for a while. Many swear words were used.
I am reminded of the first time I slept in Brooklyn NY about 40 years ago. My ex and I were sleeping in the front room of a brownstone and in the middle of the night a loud fight erupted on the street below our window over a parking space. There was yelling and screaming and threats and my ex had to translate for my California self - that the conversation was actually just "excuse me, I believe you parked in my parking space" "I'm sorry, but these spaces are not reserved" "Oh but I beg to differ, I always park here".
I imagine that's what it's like for you listening to her Italian family. Things may be loud and dramatic but not actually carry the weight that we calmer types think they do. In some cultures that's just the way communication goes. Things we think would lead to an irreparable rift are just every day drama.
"excuse me, I believe you parked in my parking space" "I'm sorry, but these spaces are not reserved" "Oh but I beg to differ, I always park here".
Originally Posted by Ginger1
My family isn’t Italian, but from Brooklyn and Queens and we only know how to communicate loudly and with the f bomb. But it’s rarely ever nasty
LOL. This is a bit more serious but I do expect it to blow over eventually.
It's funny - for most of my life I rarely raised my voice. One day fairly early on, B and I were leaving her mother's place and I yelled back "We're not fighting, we're just discussing really really loudly"
Originally Posted by job
I hope that you get the position that you interviewed for today. It would mean so much more in the way of "quality of life" for you and you wouldn't have to worry about whether your current position is going to be there for a few more years.
Thanks job
Originally Posted by job
I will keep your son in my thoughts and pray that he passes his driving test tomorrow. Who is going to go with him? Will it be you, B or your xw? He needs lots of support in the morning so that he can build up his confidence and get this over and done with. I imagine all of you can't wait until he is driving himself around.
Good luck with the kiddies. They have a lot of energy and will keep you on your toes.
The GK were tiring but we're all getting used to each other. I had them at the park for an hour or so while B took S24 out some final driving practice. I was rather surprised when she told me that OM will be taking him for his test. I would have thought his mother could have made some time but odd as it seems, I am glad that OM is helping out. It's also confirmed that he's retired. I'll leave S24 a "good luck" note in the morning. If he passes it will be life changing for him.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Please send on my congratulations on your son passing his driving test! I' sure he's so proud and ready to celebrate. It's been a long time coming and now that hurdle has come and gone. I'm so happy for him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
