Where I come from there is no theater no homeless shelter no cooking class no pottery class.
Nearest grocery store 30 miles Gas station 35 miles Movie theater. 60 miles Wall mart 90 miles Sams club or target or an Applebee’s 120 miles
You don't have to pick anything from 25's list. Come up with your own. Surely there's something you can get interested in. Nothing around you? Learn to fly stunt kites, rebuild a used dirt bike, build a remote controlled plane, take up jogging, buy some supplies and try your hand at painting or clay sculpting, get a telescope and star gaze. DO SOMETHING. The idea is to fill all those hours you wastefully spend thinking about how miserable you are with something fun and interesting. It seems you have plenty of time to post here, take a break and go do something. Your situation doesn't hinge on every little thing your wife does and how you respond to it.
Guys I treated her like a squirrel for the first time. And made a lot of eye contact. She asked what I was thinking. I followed your advice to the letter. (About how hot it’s gonna be this week).
She decided to sit beside me in the front stoop. VERY close to me. Lots of eye contact. Followed me around even more
First time since BD she decided to sit beside me.
I tried not to read into it. Just reciprocated her attention level.
Well I’m glad you tried some of the advice you’ve been given oz! That sounds like a positive reaction. But yes you shouldn’t read into it. She will act one way one day and it could be completely different the next based on her feelings at any given time. That’s good oz, I feel that eye contact is very important especially when they are speaking to show that you are listening. I didn’t realize until I found DB how often I wouldn’t even look at W while she was talking to me.
Well I’m glad you tried some of the advice you’ve been given oz! That sounds like a positive reaction. But yes you shouldn’t read into it. She will act one way one day and it could be completely different the next based on her feelings at any given time. That’s good oz, I feel that eye contact is very important especially when they are speaking to show that you are listening. I didn’t realize until I found DB how often I wouldn’t even look at W while she was talking to me.
This! Remember, she is on her own emotional roller-coaster as well.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
She is always messaging someone. I don’t ask or try to find out right. Just let it be? It’s hard not to ask when she is always in her phone. Tapping away.
I wonder sometimes if she wants me to notice. I also know that there are a lot of people that msg her so I dunno
I’m trying to remind myself that even though we have made a lot of strides from cold shoulder and contempt to getting along better than ever and her chatting my ear off. She still makes a conscious effort to not say ILY at night or before we leave for work. So I have to keep myself grounded.
Keeping yourself grounded is good. Also good, reminding yourself that you are just a little over a month in, and this could take MONTHS....even YEARS to fully resolve.
So deep breaths. Don't look for a quick fix. You've done quick fixes in the past and quick fixes don't last. So take your time. Give her time and space. And let yourself implement real changes this time.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Ok let me rephrase. She msgs multiple people quite a bit. Not constantly. Usually when she goes outside to smoke.
I do not ask who she is talking to right?
She does follow me around a lot. Last night I was sitting in front stoop. She sat down beside me. We talked for almost 2 hours. (90% her 10% me). She talked about her job, about how much she missed the farm, how much she missed our livestock and our country house, how much she hates Wichita and all the people and the congestion. She then pulled out her phone to look at all of the pictures she had of our cows and horses and western Kansas sunsets. She showed me pictures of our S she liked and of me she liked.
She seemed sad.
I felt like she might turn it into an R talk but she didn’t. I just listened and validated. (I really miss the farm too). I made a lot of eye contact. (We were only about 8 inches apart).
It seemed like a bad time to GAL at that moment. But I’m prolly wrong. It seems like I get it wrong a lot on here
