First of all, I hope I am welcomed here even though I stated I wouldn't post anymore. This board just feels like a nice place to document the journey and leave a story for someone to discover. I haven't found another place where the community would be as tight-knit and supportive towards each other.
I'll start by saying that I finally landed a different job. And oh boy, I went from a blue-collar worker to being responsible for introducing an entire process change and leading/organizing the small team responsible for implementing the change. Huh. I feel a bit stressed but man does it feel good that people trust in me. I felt like all the final pieces in my life just magically fell into their places at the same time.
Me and the new girl are doing fine. She also advanced in her career and said that my enthusiasm towards self-development has been very motivating. She told me she had limiting beliefs but is much more open-minded now. We enrolled in an open university to take courses together on a slow pace, mainly in process development and management. I'm taking additional courses in technology as well. We are still taking it quite slow and I haven't introduced my D yet. S was with us at a carnival. She doesn't have kids of her own but she really likes kids, S liked to play with her too. Funny how different this relationship has been compared to my old ones. They advanced so much quicker and the feeling at the beginning was much more "fierce". This feels much more stable and adult. No 100's of SMS's daily.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my recent happenings. Life is smiling at my way My old job was a really big hit to the feeling of my self-worth.
XW and OM are happily together, so no change in that regard. Not that it'd matter but if someone is interested. They are looking to move and thus I need to probably move as well.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
Welcome back! Many posters say that they will not post again, but do come back around and post later on, i.e., even if it is to just give an update or need additional advice. That's what family does...we welcome everyone back no matter how many times they spread their wings and fly away.
Sounds like you've landed on your two feet and are doing well. Keep us posted on your progress.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Something to update on my sitch. XW is apparently pregnant for OM. Am I horrible as I bursted out laughing? It was a text message so not a big deal there, but regardless, I shouldn't care; the laughter just came out as a genuine reaction. I don't really want to analyze as I don't care but I am just a tiny bit interested in knowing, what's the hurry? It also sparked this update reaction in me.
I introduced my gf to my D yesterday. GF was really nervous beforehand but it went super well. Both my kids took her directly to play, D wanted to show things she had drawn etc. My kids are quite shy, but this went better than I could have ever expected. She has never been that quick in bonding and creating a relationship. I watched it while I was cooking dinner and it just strengthened my feelings towards gf.
Work has been great. I had to step out of my comfort zone as I created a tool that automates a huge portion of our work (the most boring copy-paste Excel-part) and had to keep a presentation for the higher-ups about it. I've had two bonuses already and people seem to praise my work effort. Hopefully this works as a stepping stone towards higher positions.
I hope the wait for holidays goes well for all of you. And if I'm not here before the next year, happy holidays and new year!
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
I get the laughter. Just wondering - do you think she got pregnant on purpose to "seal the deal" with OM? And perhaps originally with you as well? Mind you, most unplanned pregnancies are just that - unplanned - and no method of birth control short of a hysterectomy is 100% foolproof. But just finding the timing a bot oddly similar to your early relationship with her.
Glad that things in your life are going well, that you are taking a positive pro-active approach to life and that your new GF appreciates that and is on board as well.
I get the laughter. Just wondering - do you think she got pregnant on purpose to "seal the deal" with OM? And perhaps originally with you as well? Mind you, most unplanned pregnancies are just that - unplanned - and no method of birth control short of a hysterectomy is 100% foolproof. But just finding the timing a bot oddly similar to your early relationship with her.
Glad that things in your life are going well, that you are taking a positive pro-active approach to life and that your new GF appreciates that and is on board as well.
Well, that's not what I thought or laughed about. But I have no clue. Hopefully not because that's a completely wrong reason to get pregnant. She's not too old for waiting either, as ~one year just seems way too fast for me. Quite a lot of women get their first born at over 30 and she's only turning 30 next year. She told me about a year before BD that OM said they (OM and his ex) would never want to have kids, but certainly people's opinions do change - sometimes quite quickly. So... who knows. I am just a bit scared that my kids get less attention as D craves it and S is still so young. I personally want one more kid but certainly not that fast and I am not currently planning for it.
Originally Posted by neffer
Glad to read what you wrote L! So gf and the girls had a good time together. Good man. Enjoy your present.
See you soon man!
Thanks N! Life is certainly smiling right now. Appreciate the comments.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
Ease your mind about XW and the kids. A mother is always a mother and sure it will be no difference between your children and the one coming. I know it“s hard but you need to fight those negative feelings. There“s no need of them.
Keep moving forward LC!
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
It's been over half a year since my last post. Huh, how quickly time is running by. Been reading some of the topics today but I am just too busy nowadays to comment really anything.
I got the better job last year - that didn't last for long... as after 4 months of that job I applied to even better one and got the position! Now I have a managerial position with quite a bit of responsibility and pretty much freedom of how and where I want to work. So I think it would be safe to say that I got my foot in the door as a successful career has always been a high-priority goal in my life, even though I did not always do the work for it. My father and mother have no university background. Now, I am maybe a bit too workaholic as I have spent hours of my free time learning the processes. I have no mentors at work so everything is technically left for me to self-learn. This has been the chance I always dreamt of and I am proud of myself how quickly I have learned things and to operate in quite stressful situations. I don't see money as the motivator as these new life-long skills are much more important factors for me.
D and S have a new sister now. XW is getting married soon. Me and new girl moved in together as we found a nice apartment and it felt right. We are spending quite a bit of time at running or different sports after work. Everything has been good so far and everything is pretty much going forward.
I am waiting for my vacation. I'm going hiking for over a week with a friend of mine next month. Will be nice.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
My old job was a really big hit to the feeling of my self-worth.