Keep up the good work oz. The less you pressure her the more she will come around. Nothing worked better in my sitch than removing all pressure and pursuit. The time will come when you can start trying small methods of pursuit. But your sitch is still too early for that.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
MAJOR PERSONAL BREAKTHROUGH!!!...... I’m going to work harder on myself so I will be awesome in a new R.
Perfect!
A lot of guys here start going to the gym during this process. I personally don't think it is at the top of the "improvement" list, but I believe it is worth considering.
The thing I struggle with the most is how to advise people how to practice new skills. For example, how do you learn how to be more romantic? Isn't that pursuit? How do you practice that?? The best I do is tell people to read books and study the material.
How do you get out of the Friend Zone? How do you get into the Lover Zone?
Drop the unattractive traits. Add attractive traits.
Another question. Is her behavior a positive sign? And you said there will come a time when I can try a small method of pursuit. What will that be? And how will I know when to use it?
Another question. Is her behavior a positive sign? And you said there will come a time when I can try a small method of pursuit. What will that be? And how will I know when to use it?
To early to say on both counts. Let's see how things are going a month from now.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
You can pursue now if you want but just remember that if she isn’t feeling it then it will be a reminder to her that she doesn’t have those feelings for you.
Will be rejected send you spiraling out of control?
I don’t know. For starters I don’t know what a small pursuit would be
Second. She hid the fact about lunch with coworker. I guess boss had to change their lunch hours so they wouldn’t be late back from lunch. Supposedly this only happened once. And my W openly told neighbor like it wasn’t a secret. She told neighbor. “He’s really nice and easy to talk to”. So I’m suspicious of A and not suspicious of A all at the same time. She is wearing underwear she usually doesn’t wear and when she’s on her lunch break and I needed to talk about something important she wasn’t available. I casually brought up underwear while folding clothes and she just said “eh I’ve been wearing those again lately”. She is always msging on FB mssnger. Her FB status doesn’t say married anymore. She doesn’t wear a ring for a while now, but she has always worn it off and on. Guy at her job asked her if she was married and she replied “that’s none of your business”. Her friends list is hidden where no one can see it. So it all seems suspicious but nothing concrete
Third her attitude toward me has dramatically improved over the last week after about a month or so now of DBING. she is acting almost normal except for intamacy. She honestly acts like she wants to drop an ILY but is kinda scared to
She seems to really appreciate my changes and is DEFINITELY opening up to me more. She seems awkward a little around me like she wants something more but is worried. Or maybe I’m just imagining it
The neighbor says she is pretty confident there has been no A but W might have entertained the idea
I don’t know how to put all this together. Maybe there was an A and now she is thinking of coming back? Maybe there never was an A at all? Maybe she is in middle of A and playing me for a fool? If there is an A I want to know about it so she can realize what she’s got to loose.
She seemed really surprised when she said she would be less miserable without me and I told her she wasn’t trapped. That if she needed to go she could and I would help
Sorry this is like a recap of everything. Things have just improved at home so much I feel like I should push the teeniest tiniest bit.
But I’m scared to set things back. They have come a long way. Almost back to normal
One of the best quotes I've ever seen around here is:
"When she wants to come back to the marriage, you will know. When she doesn't, you will be confused."
You are basing wanting to pursue and pressure on the fact that she is nicer to you? Really?
oz, patience my man. If she wants more she will either let you know without any ambiguity. Or at the very least the opportunity to act will still be there a month from now.
Repeat this: Patience. Patience. Patience.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
