I haven't asked W anything about it. She probably wouldn't discuss it, anyway...so what I did was find the payment proofs that she is claiming that she paid (showing that I paid them) and made sure that my attorney had them and also uploaded them to the parenting app (because it's all admissible) and set it as an expense that I wasn't claiming reimbursement on...just so she could see it with her own eyes. I know they're going to try to deny that I paid them still...but that's just because they are stomping their feet.
She's also objecting claiming the (correct) separation date is incorrect and wanting to change it.
The rest of the objections are things they put in that they didn't realize they put in, and also they're claiming that because W didn't sign it, the document needs to be altered.
Back in court to deal with all of the objections tomorrow morning.
I'm going to do everything I can to leave that courtroom with a new status tomorrow. No more dragging this out...it's been too long.
Had a meeting at S's school with his teacher, counselor, and W last Thursday. She was once again trying to play nice, asking if there were any other kids living in the home with S (she was filling out papers and she was fishing to see if I've had anyone move in with me), I told her "No, just S and I for the foreseeable future, and frankly, it's pretty nice." She just kind of laughed it off. Good.
Ah well. Tomorrow needs to hurry up and get here so we can get this all figured out. I'm really, really hoping that we can finalize everything tomorrow and just...breathe for a change.
I would delete mine, except standing orders where I live say not to do that.
Apparently it's cool for her to do stuff like that when she's hiring her atty, and nobody says anything about that. She posts stuff that just adds to my case against her.
I don't like that I'm never going to get closure from this. I know I decided like a year ago to make my own...but the longer this goes on, the more exhausted I get, and the less I understand what I did to deserve this (pretty sure W is BPD). I know that once this is over it'll be easier.
Yesterday I had a conversation with some of her relatives that have never sided with her. W and W's mom are telling people that I'm stalling. The good news is that the people her mom talks to don't believe her at all.
I asked my atty to let me know what it would take to go for full custody at this point because I know that W can't be trusted at all, she's abusive, and she only escalates things...even if I do nothing to her, she will find out about something (like me GAL) and then she'll do things because she knows I'll hear about them one way or another.
I asked if she would watch S on an upcoming day off from school that I have to work on. She said she has plans. She NEVER really makes plans that far in advance, but because I've done the "I've got plans, sorry" thing (I DID make plans), she's just going to use it against me. Her mother won't watch S that day, either. In fact, she didn't respond to my text asking her to help...she instead ran around spreading more lies about me.
This is exhausting. It's gone on so long, and when I start doing better, she finds a way to hoover her way back into my head. It's not okay. I know she's mentally/emotionally abusive...others know it as well and try to be supportive of me...but it doesn't stop.
I only want her to stop and let me live my life and leave me alone. The better I've become at resisting/gray rock/GAL/etc the more determined she's become to mess with me.
She's even told me she was going to take S on my parenting days and take him to a different after school place without my permission. She didn't, but she threatened it.
BM, you control whether or not she is in your head or not. Not her. I see a lot of victim mentality in this post. If anything, over the last year and a half, you should have learned that being beta will always get your grapes squashed. Be alpha.
Forget her and her mom for your child-care needs. The less he is around either the better. The courts will say what the minimum is that he has to be around them. Make sure to keep it as close to that minimum as possible.
You need to get to the point where a picture of her with some some slob has no effect on you.
Are you in IC?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I'm not. I can't afford IC. She agreed to start paying CS in June, but now they're fighting to start it in August using some claims that they are lying about.
Even alpha can be mentally abused. I'm not the "poor me" type. I never have been. But when dealing with an NPD or BPD...all bets are off. I've been doing GREAT for a long time. 4 months ago she tried to say she wanted to come back and that she wasn't seeing this OM.
The part that bothers me isn't that she's doing that. What REALLY bothers me is that I legally have to trust that she'll make good decisions for S when she's tried to edge me out of it on my time, has attempted to legally restrict me from getting help from my family, and her mom is just as bad (if not more experienced at this stuff).
We had a meeting with S's school counselor and teacher. W tried to derail the talk and use it as a platform to complain about his after-school care. They told her they couldn't do anything about it, she kept pursuing it. She was telling them that she would go pick him up from there...I had to interject because she told me that she wasn't using the after-school program. I said "You told me you weren't using them..." so she decided to ramp up the victimhood game..."well, YOU want to use it, so I use it because YOU want to" (she had always said she wanted to pick S up every day so I didn't have to use an after-school program). At that point I told the teacher/counselor that she had gone to the after-school care people, got into a yelling match with the staff, and she called the police on them.
Since then, she's back in "make him pay for embarrassing me" mode. Why? She told her mom (who told the rest of her family) that I was "mean" to her when I called her out for trying to manipulate S's school into getting involved in something they have no business in.
See, it's not about being alpha or not. She's made it clear (and yeah, it's gotten back to me that this IS the reality) that she wants me to suffer for making her look bad (because she can't see that she's the one doing the stupid stuff that makes her look bad).
She's a total piece of work.
The picture didn't really hurt because I expected it. But when you take ALL of the factors into consideration, she's absolutely trying to cause me trouble. And that's the exhausting part.
BM, neffer is saying what I was trying to say. Don't get sucked into her drama. Telling the school what she did with the after school program was getting sucked into her drama. It wasn't germane to the discussion. You said yourself that the school said "that is out of our purview" and then you got down into the dirt with her and said what you said. Please do not insult my intelligence by trying to defend that as you having pure motives. You did try to embarrass her. And then there were consequences for getting down in the dirt.
Stay above it BM. You are better than that.
"The picture didn't really hurt because I expected it. But when you take ALL of the factors into consideration, she's absolutely trying to cause me trouble. And that's the exhausting part."
Again........you are giving her too much power here. 0 pictures. 1,000,000 pictures. 1 factor. 1,000,000 factors. You are an unmovable rock. And if you can't be that now, then work on getting there (IE IC!!).
Oh and on IC, I've said a million times if I've said it once....you can't afford to NOT be in IC. You aren't moving forward on your own, so get the help you need.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
