Essentially, probably 1 hr in the morning asshe is getting him and herself ready for work and maybe 45 min at night as she gets him ready for bed. He thought it was funny when he tried to squeeze her boobs, then he farted a couple of times and had to let the world know he did it. So I think he just wants and craves attention. His dad doesn't seem him but 4 days a month so that time is limited and his mom doesn't have much time either with her work schedule. She is also not the holly homemaker type of mom either, cooking meals, PTA meetings, etc.
The Dr. is pretty buttoned up, she struggles with words of affirmation, is not a small talk kind of person. She speaks her mind, very logical, very literal and is the type of person that is used to running her household, her practice, and marriage because her XH didn't contribute anything. So she is not running the kids around all day, meeting her girlfriends for lunch, spending 2 hours a day in the gym, getting her nails done, hair done type of person. She is focused on her practice and getting that up and running.
Well we all know getting kids ready for school in the morning is not exactly quality time. So sounds like he only gets an hour in the evening of quality time with mom. That's tough. A kid like this needs a lot.
That’s sad. Getting ready for school and getting ready for bed is the only time they spend together?
The last thing I like to do is be a judgy parent, but is she going to the gym 5 days a week? That’s a lot of time taken away from him. Do they eat dinner together?
Hey, I know it’s a tough balance. But I made sure my gym time was 2 -3 days a week at most and I would take her with on the weekend. I believe in self care, absolutely, but this boy is crying for attention. Grabbing his mom’s boob? Sure cry for attention.
If you think about it, she only gets 10 more waking hours with her son than her ex does a week and that’s getting him to school and putting him to bed.
The Dr. has went through a lot of changes in the last 2.5 years. She got Divorced, left her former practice where she was a partner to open up her own and obviously all the emotions and stress that go along with it.
Maybe she could do a better job of balance and giving more time to her son but I think she is just trying to figure it all out. Her mom moved to town in October of last year so I know she has been a tremendous help to her as her son spends about one night a week at Grandma's.
She was really sick on Saturday and still took him to the water park for several hours so I know it's not because she doesn't want to spend time with him.
I saw her last night for a couple of hours, again this morning at the gym briefly and this weekend is kid free for the both of us so we will have the weekend as well.
I feel good today about where I am at, the pace and I think meeting her son kind of freaked me out a bit.
WEll it does make it real that step-parenting could be in your future, and that can be difficult. But no one expects you to have an instant relationship with that kid either. Give everything time.
She goes after work on Mondays and Thursdays. She goes before work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Tuesday it's because her office is open until 6:30 and Wednesday because her office is closed and she does marketing. Friday's she is only open until noon and goes immediately after.
My mom has been a step-parent for over 30 years and has given me some really good advice. She had just told me to be patient and give it time.
There’s no rush. The getting to know each other process when kids are involved takes time. I’m learning it’s also like you restarted dating in a way. Just take the time
