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kml Offline
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He ended up inviting me to his son’s preschool graduation. Where his ex will be. I accepted the invite.


Why the h@ll would you do this? Talk about a recipe for stirring up more drama with his ex. And for what? A preschool "graduation" is hardly an event that you must attend. You're only looking at it in terms of validation and not in terms of potential cost. I really don't think that's where you should meet his ex (if anywhere).

Also - preschool? I didn't realize his son was THAT young. So 15 more years of baby mama drama at least. You'd best be prepared.

Last edited by job; 06/17/19 07:46 PM. Reason: edited language
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I’m pretty messed up in the head right now. And just so confused.

I am want to stick by his side. I finally find a guy I could see my future with and there’s got to be SOMETHING.

His son is 5. So yeah, this isn’t ending anytime soon. And I can stick through the crazy. But I don’t know how much I can pay the price. Looks I broke my promise and I invited him to dinner Wednesday. he Ignored that. Sure, we got plans 2 days to do with the kids this week. But alone plans? Once every 2 weeks isn’t enough. Especially when you treat me like just a friend when we are around our kids. If he could give me that for what I give him, I could totally be happy with that.

I think I’m terms of him leaving me because that’s all I know. The last time I asked for more( a very reasonable more, because I was clearly be used) he decided to go with his back up choice.

I do give way too much of myself without getting much in return. It really drains a person.

He swears up and down he loves me and his feelings are constant for me. I guess he is showing that by inviting me to a lot of things with our kids. But the rest? I just don’t know.

I can only do one day at a time. Today was good. Tonight, not so much. So I decided to put away the phone and just watch my TV show and relax and have a beer. No work tomorrow .

On a totally different subject, I think my ex is jealous

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And darn it. I am a catch . He should want to hold on.

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G I know it was a little hard for me this weekend to show affection to the Dr. when my girls were around. We held hands a little bit, did some light touching, exchanged a couple of kisses but nothing over the top like normal. It also felt a little weird since they have never seen me be with another woman outside of their mom if they even remember that. I noticed my youngest paying close attention.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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J9 I think you are totally missing Gingers point - or actually helping her to make it without even knowing you're doing that. You were with the Dr. In front of the kids for the very first time and were already holding hands and kissing - things that could well be argued should not have even happened during the initial introduction. By contrast Ginger has been around his son many times already and M will only kiss her on the forehead when he's not in the same area. See the difference? Ginger would be doing back flips if M showed the PDA on the 10th outing that you showed on the first.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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Don’s right. 5 months, a good amount of time spent together, kid really really likes me, I really really like him, and he cannot hold my hand. He cannot kiss me unless he is SURE his son won’t see.

It wasn’t appropriate early on, but it is now. I would kill for what your level of affection in front of the kids.

And it’s not about me needing to be physical. It’s about his son knowing the truth now and to stop hiding our love like some dirty little secret .

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Makes sense......i was just trying to articulate that it wasnt easy for me...I did it but it felt a little awkward.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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With ex bf, I was not affectionate in front of my son. My son only knew him as mommy’s friend who happened to have dogs. Once he even told me, “mom, I think .... has a crush on you” . I liked this because I didn’t have to explain romantic relationships with my son. Ex bf even babysat a few times for me (before i was getting annoyed with him) Son was recently asking about why we don’t see him and what was great was that all I had to tell him was that we weren’t getting along just like him and a friend of his , so we r not having play dates any more.

I just didn’t want to get into a big topic of romance with my son. Things are complicated in his life and I didn’t want to add more complication. I wanted things simple for him. M might not be ready for that with son. He might simply want to keep things simple with him. He’s a kid that’s trying to make sense of a divorce still.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
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It’s his choice right now. I have no say. But he needs to meet me somewhere in the middle . Like making time for just us. Which he’s been slacking on. One day just is in 2 weeks is not working for me. Next weekend we have a weekend away. We need it.

My body and mind are out of whack. I have a pinched nerve in my neck, my right hip has been killing me. I am off today, and instead of CrossFit, I’m going to yoga today. I think this is taking a toll on my body. I need to clear my mind.

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You DO have a say!!!!! You are a part of this relationship, so you absolutely DO have a say. Why are you letting him call all the shots? This makes me sad, G. You are awesome and you deserve to get/have what you want. It’s not just about him. Please think about that.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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