Thanks neffer. All is about the same. I have noticed that W gets a little more emotional during disagreements.
A couple of times I have mentioned that I have no idea how she feels and she has said that she takes it one day at a time. I believe it is a defense mechanism because I have accused her of poor communication in the past.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
I sent this text this morning. "I can't do this anymore. It's time we discuss how this is going to end." After about half an hour she responded "Ok".
My plan was to give it until the end of the year, but I am tired and ready.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Steve, I have spent the last several hours reading up on your sitch. Much of it seems hauntingly familiar.
My W too plays these games. I didn't think her games had a chat feature. Who knows?
Lately, my spidey sense has been telling me something is up. I can't put my finger on why. Us LBSs just know things.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
It's 5am and I have been up for the last two hours with a headache.
After my BD today I was out of the house until dinner time at which I can home and grilled as planned. I kept the conversation short but polite. W was on best behavior. (does anyone else get annoyed when they jump to attention after some emotional exchange?) I assume that she is mad that I would drop such a revelation, but what does she expect?
This is the most perplexing part of all of this. They make their choices and then when the natural and expected consequences occur, they seem slighted. I read it in most all of the threads. I guess it is just selfishness.
I expect to purpose that we plan to meet to discuss what the next steps might look like. My objective is to handle this in the best possible way but I realize that W will have no idea of what she expects and many covert contracts.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Quick update: W has buried herself in work over the labor day weekend. This is a typical MO when she gets stressed.
Our interactions have been light. Like planning dinner etc. W is tender and polite.
I did suggest that we both think about what this next step looks like and plan to meet and discuss. W agreed. I expressed that I wished to handle it in the best possible way and wanted to know her expectations. I don't expect much from this. We will see.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
D20 is home from college. I love her dearly, she also challenges me, as young adults often do their parents. But something is different this time. She has been out of the house and living with other people for a couple of years now. Learning to cohabitate with people other than her family. Not that she was ever without opinions, but college fuels the propensity to seek offense. To seek outrage. I hope this makes sense.
So now, when she overreacts to things and responds in what, in the past, I may have felt a disrespectful way, I no longer feel the need to react or even respond. Much more like water off a duck's back. Much more Alpha. I'm sure that I might have a tipping point. A point where I have heard enough. But for the most part, I feel much less desire to engage.
I find this encouraging and enlightening. I guess I'm growing. I guess with D20 away I haven't felt in direct competition with her.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
How serendipitous? I get a daily Bible verse in my inbox every day. Today's verse:
Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. -Titus 2-
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
