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A Message from Michele
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What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 #2846968
04/26/19 03:58 PM
04/26/19 03:58 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
J
JimmyRig Offline OP
Member
JimmyRig  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: JimmyRig] #2848475
05/08/19 05:42 PM
05/08/19 05:42 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
J
JimmyRig Offline OP
Member
JimmyRig  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
I'm at the point now with her being at her parents house recovering for 2 months from the lung issue and now much better (1/2 mile away) and the kids sleeping back and forth bc some days I can go to work late asking her "What is so bad in our marriage that can't be worked on.

So turn. Been all about 180 and GAL and getting the boys out on the boat.

Thoughts? Or just let it lay and the option work on stuff or D is in her hands. Right?


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: JimmyRig] #2848476
05/08/19 05:57 PM
05/08/19 05:57 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 5,701
S
Steve85 Offline
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Steve85  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 5,701
I am having a little trouble following this last post. Are you asking if you should ask her What is so bad in our marriage that can't be worked on?"

The answer is NO. Do not ask that.


M(50), W(51),D(15)
M-20, T-22 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: Steve85] #2848482
05/08/19 07:01 PM
05/08/19 07:01 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
J
JimmyRig Offline OP
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JimmyRig  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
Yes, That is what I was asking.


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: JimmyRig] #2848484
05/08/19 07:22 PM
05/08/19 07:22 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 2,861
L
LH19 Online
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LH19  Online
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L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 2,861
JR,

You can ask that question but you better be prepared to get kicked in the nuts.

LBS have this fantasy that if they ask that question the WW will say “ you know what? That’s a great idea why didn’t I think of that first?”

You’ll know if and when she’s ready to work on it.


M:50 W:45
T:22 M:16
S:14 D:10

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: LH19] #2848489
05/08/19 07:52 PM
05/08/19 07:52 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,141
A
AnotherStander Offline
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AnotherStander  Offline
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A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,141
Originally Posted by LH19
You can ask that question but you better be prepared to get kicked in the nuts.


In fact, just walk up to a random stranger and offer them 20 dollars to swiftly kick you in the nuts. It's a far better alternative than the temperature check you're thinking about.


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: JimmyRig] #2848500
05/08/19 09:30 PM
05/08/19 09:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
J
JimmyRig Offline OP
Member
JimmyRig  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
10 4

Always love the brutal truth to straighten me out.

As always

thx


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: JimmyRig] #2848508
05/08/19 10:26 PM
05/08/19 10:26 PM
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 745
S
SoTorn Offline
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SoTorn  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 745
I agree. Don't ever ask that. Before I found this site, before I confirmed PA. I went for a long "Walk" with the WW trying to just talk. I was simply trying to validate her feelings and see if I could gain a foothold on working on our MR. Bad idea. It turned into an hour of her kicking me in the nuts. Sure, she wanted me to just validate everything including all of her unjustified views that her and OM made up to give her "reasons" why she was cheating. F**K that noise! Don't do it.


M:16
T:21
H(me) 38
WW: 38
S11 D16 D19
Red Flags of A: March 2018
ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018
Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018
BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018
D Filed: March 27, 2019
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: JimmyRig] #2848514
05/08/19 10:40 PM
05/08/19 10:40 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 2,861
L
LH19 Online
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LH19  Online
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L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 2,861
JR,

Brutal honesty is the only way to go. We're not here to blow smoke up your a$$.

Trust us we saved you a lot of pain.

Keep moving forward!


M:50 W:45
T:22 M:16
S:14 D:10

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: What do I do? Ignore ? part 2 [Re: JimmyRig] #2848709
05/10/19 02:57 PM
05/10/19 02:57 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
J
JimmyRig Offline OP
Member
JimmyRig  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
She set up this program for the town through the department she is the Director of and last night was the launch info night. Should I text her this message or do nothing? Validation is her number one Love Language.

"The Mayors Fitness program you set up looks cool and it's very impressive. I hope it does well. "

Thanks


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
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