That really is a heck of a lot physical alteration. The money isn’t what’s concerning. Clearly she’s not putting herself in a financial hole for it. But she’s really trying to stop time. The concern is how far is she going to go and is she going to be ok with it when she doesn’t look 38 anymore?
I agree with KML. I think she needs more comments on her natural beauty and beauty within. I think the best thing a guy could do is make a woman feel beautiful for who is on the inside .
And I really hope you did not make the above the above joke, because she is likely to take that seriously!!
Lol....no I didnt. I think she told me she had a treatment in May. She is the consulting Dr. at the local medspa and get everything at cost so that could be a part of it. I doubt she would have done the JJ tightening if she didnt own the machine. I think she said 1 session alone is like $3k but she only paid $500. I also think some of it has to do with her D and being in a sexless marriage for 10 years. Ed or not I would think that would play on your pyschy on whether or not your xh found you desireable.
The only thing I really notice are her lips. They look kind of like Kim K's lips very full. She has had her boobs replaced like 3 times since she originally got them done in her 20s.
Would you still like her or have went for her if she had love handles, uneven lips, ehh... noise issue? (Lets just say a weak pelvic floor and core stabilizers) wrinkles, and uneven breasts? Do you like her for who she is without these things?
LOL....he certainly could have been really THICK!!!
Ju - If I didn't find her attractive I would have never gotten to know her or have went on a date. So it's difficult to answer that question since the first thing you notice about someone is their looks. All that aside though she is a very good person, a giver, and by everything I have seen (including pictures of her son) she is a very loving/caring mother.
I get that she gets a heavy discount . I hope she begins to feel more secure without these invasive/ semi invasive alterations. At 38 I had a real wake up call. My health first. Learn to love myself as I am. I still take care of myself, but my whole boob thing was such an eye opener. I am much more than what I look like physically. Sure, I take care of myself, but I’m trying not to put myself at more risk for the sake of physical appearance anymore.
I hope your lady begins to feel secure with herself just as she is. Without all the alterations.
Outside of the boobs and botox everything came after her D so I assume that had something to do with it.
Also I would never expect, need or request anyone to do anything to their body. My XW had very small boobs and would never asked her or even wanted her to get a boob job even though she did after our D. I never once looked at her and said oh I was you did this or did that. I loved her for who she was and while she was tiny she was still not perfect.
I don't expect perfection, I am not perfect but I do expect and I am attracted to women that make an effort.
Outside of the boobs and botox everything came after her D so I assume that had something to do with it.
Also I would never expect, need or request anyone to do anything to their body. My XW had very small boobs and would never asked her or even wanted her to get a boob job even though she did after our D. I never once looked at her and said oh I was you did this or did that. I loved her for who she was and while she was tiny she was still not perfect.
I don't expect perfection, I am not perfect but I do expect and I am attracted to women that make an effort.
You keep saying that you think her D had a lot to do with all of this, and you obviously know the woman and I don't, but I don't think that is it. Just based on what you are saying, she has some serious self-conscious issues and while D certainly didn't help it, there has to be some more serious underlying cause. There is a difference between what someone (maybe even you, yourself) pointed out in an earlier post about men going to the gym and getting fit after D and a woman having all of these drastic cosmetic procedures after hers. I had the same thought that someone else posted that if she has not even given birth to a kid, why have the tightening thing done. I'm not judging her, mind you. If she chooses to do it and she can afford it, which she clearly can, more power to her. I just don't get it because I'm not that person. Heck, I don't even wear make up. I own make up, but I can't even tell you the last time I had any on. The last time I remember having any on was about 5 years ago. And, I wouldn't get botox even if it would cure migraines because needles, man. LOL (I would be a horrible IV drug user!)
I find it interesting that you end with you are attracted to women who make an effort. I guess we see "effort" differently because all the stuff she's doing seems more like overkill than effort. I would imagine she's an attractive woman in her own right, even without all the extras, or I don't think you would be with her anyway. It goes back to what I said at first...I don't know her and you do, so it is super easy for me to armchair quarterback it, but it just sounds like she has some serious self-esteem issues, which oddly, seems to be common with highly successful and attractive women. That must be why God made me ugly. If I was smart AND beautiful, I couldn't handle it and no one could handle me. LOLOLOL
I very much appreciate the thought you are putting into your responses to her. You seem to genuinely care about meeting her where she is, if that makes sense. You obviously like her and want to communicate effectively with her and that is a wonderful thing.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Yeah...I am not sure why she does. I have never asked her and it has never come up in conversation. I do know she hasn't spoke to her father in about 15 years or so. They had a big falling out over how he was spending his mom's (her Grandma's) money before she died and her Grandma asked her to intervene on her behalf with Lawyer's etc. I also get the impression that her dad wasn't overly involved in her life before this situation happened. She commented that once got boobs he didn't know what to do with her. Maybe some of it has to do with not getting or winning her dad's approval. Not sure. No abuse or anything like that just an absent father sort of speak.
She texted me this morning and I texted her back "Good Morning Beautiful" so I am trying to be more aware of what she needs. It is true that things do slowly start to reveal themselves so I am glad I am taking it slow.
Making an effort to me is not all about this stuff. Yes, most of it is overkill. For me making an effort can be as simple as getting your hair done, nails, etc. or applying body lotion, wearing a delicate smelling perfume, dressing appropriately, or being health conscience. It certainly does not have to be to this extreme.
