CALL 303-444-7004 to get started right away!

 

 


A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


A Divorce Busting Telephone Coach
can help you save your marriage singlehandedly!
CALL 303-444-7004
or see Coaching Packages online at the Divorce Busting Store

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852134
06/07/19 05:36 PM
06/07/19 05:36 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
M
Maika Offline OP
Member
Maika  Offline OP
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
Just saw your comments Dawn and Ginger. That makes a lotta sense about leaving the custody stuff out. I am not on any site right now, but just gearing up to get out on the market. I think I will probably start with Bumble. I dunno about Tinder, but I might give it a shot. Any suggestions?


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852136
06/07/19 05:45 PM
06/07/19 05:45 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,004
T
TBSakaJ9 Offline
Member
TBSakaJ9  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,004
I did not like Tinder. I liked Bumble although your game needs to be tight. People make quick decisions on the swiping apps so your pictures better be money. I had a buddy and his wife take pictures for me. His wife and her friends vetted them out.

I met the Dr. on Match.

Think about how you can use some humor, try to make it light and not so serious. Girls want to laugh and envision what their life would be like if they chose you. Give them the dream M.

"I love rock climbing, I have been known to hang a little to the right"...….


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852137
06/07/19 05:50 PM
06/07/19 05:50 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,107
D
Dawn70 Offline
Member
Dawn70  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,107
I see women being hung up on height much like men being hung up on weight. I saw LOTS of men's profiles that said something to the effect of "if you weigh over" or "if you are plus-size", don't bother messaging me. I am not trying to start a debate about people's health and I am fully aware that people can diet and lose weight, so that isn't my point. I also know, as someone will inevitably think and maybe even point out, height is out of a person's control but weight isn't. My overall point here is that if a woman is going to be so shallow as to look past you because you don't measure up to some idealized height standard, then she isn't the one for you anyway. I'm a tall woman (5'11") so I absolutely prefer tall men, but I would never rule someone out because they were shorter than me, anymore than I would rule out someone who was significantly heavier or lighter than me. Those women who basically post "no short dudes" are just as bad as the dudes who post "no fat chicks", in my opinion.

Be strong and confident and you will attract quality women. Don't worry about women who have hang-ups about specific things that you have absolutely no control over. That's on them.


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852141
06/07/19 06:12 PM
06/07/19 06:12 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
M
Maika Offline OP
Member
Maika  Offline OP
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
Hahahahah! I almost spit out my coffee reading that J. That's a bit risque lol, but definitely funny.

Dawn - thanks for the feedback. Yeh, I don't want to date someone who is hung up about things I can't control. And I would extend the same level of courtesy as well. I come across really confident and personable in person and I need to translate that into the online apps. I have a good idea what to do with my profile now and will take a new set of pics and see how things go.

Great thing about being on this side of the forum is all y'all OLD vets smile


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852143
06/07/19 06:18 PM
06/07/19 06:18 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,004
T
TBSakaJ9 Offline
Member
TBSakaJ9  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,004
LOL.....I would not advise using that but you get the drift.

We all have tastes and preferences but at minimum M you have to feel some level of attraction.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852150
06/07/19 07:15 PM
06/07/19 07:15 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
M
Maika Offline OP
Member
Maika  Offline OP
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
Definitely! Alright, Bumble here I come... in the next week or so. And then maybe the paid apps. Thanks a ton folks for helping me clean up my OLD act smile


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852169
06/07/19 09:21 PM
06/07/19 09:21 PM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,731
J
JujuB Offline
Member
JujuB  Offline
Member
J
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,731
Hey Maika

I just signed up for OLD as well. I agree with everyone else. Humor helps so much. Maybe add a sentence of what types of books you enjoy. I always take note of that and if a guy reads similar books that I do, it makes for easy conversation and I take note.

But I do think it’s a numbers game. Are you writing to women? When you write to them are you making it known that you read their profile? I get that you might not get back a response. But how long does it take to read a profile? 45 seconds? To write a message? 2 minutes? That’s not much of an investment. Just make sure your messages aren’t generic “hi how are you” or “great profile and great pics”. Someone posted something they obviously cut and pasted and reuse over and over that tells me about them (like another profile) and then they write “tag. Your it” meaning, I’m supposed to respond. The guys I feel safer about responding to are the ones that brought up something I wrote about.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852181
06/07/19 11:57 PM
06/07/19 11:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,031
K
kml Offline
Member
kml  Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,031
Google okcupid blog most effective openers for a good article based on their research

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2852426
06/10/19 06:36 PM
06/10/19 06:36 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
M
Maika Offline OP
Member
Maika  Offline OP
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
Thanks Juju. Yeah, I am not going to go for generic messages. I know it's a numbers game, but I don't want to waste my time on a date with someone when we may not have much in common. I am not desperate to just go out on dates. I know that most of them won't go the distance, but at least if I am investing some time, I'd like to have a good time and having common interests can facilitate that.

kml - thanks for the tip. I'll check it out.


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2854717
06/26/19 07:08 PM
06/26/19 07:08 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
M
Maika Offline OP
Member
Maika  Offline OP
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,791
Haven't taken the dating plunge yet, but probably by the end of summer.

Not sure if I had mentioned it on this side the board, but I had injured my hand and knee in an indoor climbing incident last summer and I was out for a whole year. Put a huge damper on my spirits and my GAL and other things took a hit. I hadn't worked out in a while as well because of the injuries. But, I am almost healed and I restarted climbing few weeks back and I am taking it slow. Not tackling the hard stuff and getting back to where I left off, but I am not too far off now.

I also rejigged my schedule and added more GAL. I rejoined a local gym and I go every day now after work, which has just been so amazing. The gym also has classes and started taking yoga once a week, which has helped my knee a lot too. Trying to strengthen it and using different tactics to get there - strength training, yoga, and meditation.

Also started my routine of going to the movies once a week. I love the local indie theatre and they play off-beat and foreign films and it's been a blast.

I am also in the process of making moves in my professional career. I've exhausted my skill set where I am at and there is no room to move up. So, I am in preliminary conversations about a different role with a different team and hopefully it pans out - more dollars and more responsibility in areas that I want to further my skills and take my career. So, the good news is slowly pouring in, but I am hella patient lol.

Things with exW are settled and predictable. She and her bf have done a full kinda blend of families now and it just sounds ridiculous and exhausting. Taking care of 2 kids is a lotta work, now they have to do it for 4 lol. Well, that's their deal and hopefully it's gonna work out for them.

Life is good and I am getting better physically and mentally. Not being physically active has had a brutal consequence in the gym - got so weak lol. But, I am building it back up diligently and it's nice to have that perverse pleasure from muscle soreness the next day.

Saving up $$$ for getting my full sleeve done by next summer. Gonna cost me 2-3k. But, it's my gift to me before I turn 40 smile


No one is coming to save you!

Page 5 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004