Yeah a potential partner has to be cool with me having kids and understand that I am a super involved parent. I also want them to be a good role model / influence on my kids - not being a mother because the kids have a mother, but being an overall good person who can love my children and develop a meaningful relationship with them. I know this is like me getting ahead of myself, but I need to see those traits in a potential partner.
On that level it makes it important that if someone decides to message me and wants to go on a date with me, they know the info about me having young kids and that I have them 50/50 time shared with their mother. On a different note, I also don't want to waste my time and someone else's time if having kids is a dealbreaker for them.
In my pics, I had a 2 individual ones of me; 1 group shot; and 1 where I was engaged in a hobby. No selfies or bathroom shots or sunglasses. No excessive make-up either
The profile section didn't allow for too much text, but I had something as follows.
Spicy food connoisseur and meditation enthusiast. When I don't have my 2 young kids with me (50/50 time split with their mother), you can find me rock climbing, strength training, going for walks on trails, or buried in a book. If you love mountains over beaches, let's grab a drink.
I felt really stupid writing that but all of it is true. I feel like I am marketing myself. Anyways, that's the name of the game.
I am thinking of getting back on OLD and I kinda want to put my best foot forward. I am fairly decent looking and in good shape, but I am not very photogenic. I know that I come across way better in person with my personality and confidence with women but it didn't previously translate into anything interesting.
In OLD it states I have kids. Not how many or ages or pictures of them. If a woman is interested in me I work it into the conversation so they know I have kids and I coparent 50/50. I can date in age ranges where women don't have kids yet, and they need to know this. Especially since my kids are all under the age of 10.
Make sure your profile has at least 1 full body shot. At least 1 head shot with a smile. No bathroom pics, but gym pics are ok if you are a serious gym rat. Only 1 picture with sunglasses, women want to see your eyes. I hear from women that a lot of guys take pics with there dog which I guess works for some people. Many women tell me its a bit cliche and doesn't distinguish yourself. If you have to do selfies keep it to 1.
If you are OLD don't do the penpal garbage. Try to move it off the site and to a phone and/or drink date pretty early on.
You are marketing yourself, and the first date is like the first job interview.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
So glad that I randomly came across a woman that I really really get along with. Really didn't feel like navigating the dating scene.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
So, ladies. You asked me for what my profile was. It went kinda like this. Can I get some feedback? Gents welcome too
Spicy food connoisseur and meditation enthusiast. When I don't have my 2 young kids with me (50/50 time split with their mother), you can find me rock climbing, strength training, going for walks on trails, or buried in a book. If you love mountains over beaches, let's grab a drink.
M....IMO you might change up your opening sentence and re-word a couple of things. Nothing wrong with spicy food and meditation but that would not be the first thing I would want someone to know about me (unless that is very important to you). Also, the sentence about your kids to me reads like you don't do anything when you have them. You might try something like this. "I am the father of two amazing kids that I have 50% of the time." In my free time I enjoy, etc. etc. etc. or something like that. It's all in how you spin it.
Can you throw some humor in there? Girls like to laugh. I know you like to cook...what about that????
Thanks for the feedback J. That was very helpful. What did you have as an opening sentence? I am just trying to get inspiration on how to structure it. Your point about humor and also how to talk about my kids is hugely helpful. I can see now that what I have reads like I am a deadbeat dad lol.
I am 6'2 ladies so you can wear your heals. Mornings in the gym and chill at night, fun, happy, and active. I am the father of two amazing girls and a couple of pups. Like the Beach? Let's go!
Definitely go with humor! Funny is a very good thing.
Maybe I'm wrong on this but do you even need to mention that you have your kids 50% of the time or that you share custody with their mom? To me both the way you worded it and the way J9 worded it seem like you are a part-time dad, which I guess technically you are, but in your heart you are a full-time dad who just happens to only see his kids half the time, if that makes sense. You have described yourself several times in posts as a very involved dad, which I have no doubt is true. I guess my point is if it were me, I would leave it at "father of 2 amazing kids" and then if you are really interested in someone and they ask about kids, then you can say you have them 50% of the time and get more into the logistics of how your custody works. That isn't necessarily something that everyone needs to know and there may be some crazies that read that you are with your kids 50% of the time so that means they can have you the other 50% and you may not want them having that much of your time. See what I'm saying? LOL
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Fantastic! Thanks so much. Ladies getting so hung up on the height thing lol. I read how many women won't even deal with a profile if it doesn't have height. Looks like the work is cut out for me. I'll try and redo this and post it back here and get some feedback again. Gotta go get some new recent pics and hopefully should be good to go soon. Gonna hit up the free apps first, and see how it rolls.
