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HB_Wife #2846567 04/24/19 01:44 AM
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I'm trying to go dark...right now I'm gray. H is pursuing. What do I do?

Also, this there a thread on cake eating?

HB_Wife #2846662 04/24/19 05:31 PM
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I recommend reading Living's story. There should be advise in there that may help you:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2824488&page=1


CSL is a newbie:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2846211
Read her thread and support each other


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Thank you! I'm going to read it now.

HB_Wife #2846724 04/25/19 01:35 AM
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Wow, the last stitch sounds like mine. I will continue to follow and post updates here. Thank you.

HB_Wife #2847064 04/27/19 11:28 AM
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I came across this today and thought it was appropriate for all of us going through this mess.

Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, [the spouse I once knew] the courage to change the things I can [myself...the power I have and self respect] and the wisdom to know the difference.

HB_Wife #2847067 04/27/19 12:14 PM
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Yes. The Serenity Prayer. I have it pasted in my journal, and pray it often. It's known mostly for what you posted here, but there is more. Here is the entire prayer. I think the additional words are very wise.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is; Not as I would have it;
Trusting that you will make all thing right if i surrender to your will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next.

Amen

Peace to you on your journey.

Grace


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18
Grace21 #2847116 04/27/19 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Grace21
Yes. The Serenity Prayer. I have it pasted in my journal, and pray it often. It's known mostly for what you posted here, but there is more. Here is the entire prayer. I think the additional words are very wise.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is; Not as I would have it;
Trusting that you will make all thing right if i surrender to your will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next.

Amen

Peace to you on your journey.

Grace



Thank you for sharing the whole prayer. I did not know there was more. I am going to keep it in my journal as well.

HB_Wife #2847391 04/29/19 11:42 PM
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A year ago today is when it all started. The OW had a loss in her family and went to her online friends looking for comfort. Of course, who happened to be on the computer at the same time,? My H. Being the friendly and encouraging guy he is, he gave her the strength she needed to overcome this tough period in her life. That's made her fall in love with him...and he did not stop himself.

I am not saying much today. Keeping myself busy and trying to be happy. In the back of my mind I want to say something mean regarding how "proud" her loved one is seeing what she has done (have an affair), but I'll just think it and not say it. Ugh.

Last edited by HB_Wife; 04/29/19 11:43 PM.
HB_Wife #2847533 04/30/19 09:46 PM
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H has changed in the past few weeks. Going from being super chatty and joyful at the beginning of the month to now being distracted and distant again. He has spent less time with his phone in his hands, but right at Easter he picked up the bad habit again.

Lately he is not doing much around the house. I'm keeping busy but leaving a mess as well so that I'm not stuck with all the housework while he relaxes.

Is this normal behavior?

Last edited by HB_Wife; 04/30/19 09:47 PM.
HB_Wife #2847539 04/30/19 10:46 PM
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HBW, I am noticing the same changes in my H. The past few days he has been very distant, almost cold. Friday he was texting me and bringing me home dinner, hanging around me a lot, and by Sunday he was barely talking to me. I think he was angry that I spent my day out and about on Saturday and gave him little details as to where I was. He was upset that I wasn't home in the afternoon. Why? Why would he care? Perhaps my H is just sulking and angry, perhaps it's something else. Who knows!

I think from what I have been reading around the forum this type of behavior is typical, but who knows, I am so new at this! I feel like I continue to try and read into everything WAY too much.

Good for you for not cleaning up after him! I feel like the WAS acts entitled at times, just sitting back and relaxing, trying to take space and figure things out while we are left to literally clean up the mess!

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