Who are you addressing your question to? Jack passed away and this thread is now used as a reference for others to read. We ask that anyone who posts here who is new, to please start a thread so that the posters can respond directly to the new poster.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.