Holy cow! It's Tad...

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Job.

Yes, one or two of my other sons will be there possibly along with a few other guys.

I will most likely go, but I'm going to spend the next month dreading it. It happens on May 4th. I know that there will probably be more events like this in the future and I'll need to be strong and attend them as well, but it won't be easy. Just another side effect of this mess.

I just really wish I didn't have to ever deal with her or her family ever again. The further away I can stay from them, the better. I REALLY HOPE none of them try to talk to me. It won't be good.

Tad

[job]

Tad,

Anything can happen in a month. I wouldn't think about it too much. It's just a gathering to celebrate the upcoming birth of a baby. If go, take a gift and mingle with the men and be sure to make a point of talking to your son's girlfriend for just a bit. Nothing says you have to stay the entire time. If you feel uncomfortable, make your excuses after a bit and leave. It will be okay. No one wants to make a scene at a baby shower.

If her family speaks to you, be courteous and speak to them. Again, you do not have to go into lengthy conversations w/them.

Try to remember that this is an event for your son and his girlfriend. If they didn't want you there, you would not have been invited.

It will be okay. No one wants to make a scene at a baby shower.

[tadpole1025]

Job,

As usual, you are right. I'm not super-excited about it, but I will go, behave and quietly make my exit.

Tad

[Ginger1]

At this point in time, have you stopped to really think about what you dread so much? Do you still have that much attachment to her? Because I don’t think you do. I think you have just conditioned yourself to dread it.

She just a guest. The main event is what’s happening! You are going to be a grandfather and you are going to celebrate in the happiness of your son and family! That’s what this is all about! This will actually be a good time if you let it be!

[tadpole1025]

I can deal with seeing her. It is what it is.

I DO mind her being nice and asking about me and my life and trying to be friendly. She made me out to be a terrible, evil person and now she wants to be nice and "friendly."

No thanks.

If she really believed all of those lies she told about me, she shouldn't want anything to do with me anyways.

Tad

[exquisitetobe]

Anyone who lies, cheat, abuse, alcholics, drug addicts, anyone creating chaos in other' s lives for their own selfish benefit are not friends of mine either.
It does not mean we are stuck, it means WE ARE DONE!!!

[DnJ]

Good Morning Tad

Congratulations, about to become a grandfather. Awesome!

Your son must be so proud and happy.

I do understand your feelings towards XW, all the lies she told, especially to herself. What do you think would happen when she is unable to believe her lies anymore? Nice and friendly, the start of an apology? Of course she could just be acting and manipulating, no way to know. I just found myself agreeing with your statement that if she really believed her lies she wouldn’t want anything to do with you, and yet she does.

In the twilight of a situation things are dimmer and hard to see.

I hope the baby shower is drama free and you enjoy yourself.

DnJ

[Ginger1]

I am
Not saying you are stuck. I would just hate to see someone like EHR ruin wonderful moments and family events for you. You shouldn’t dread, you should be happy. No deserves to rob that from you.

Sure, maybe she’s being fake nice. You see through her, and I’m sure she isn’t fooling anyone else. Let her act as she will. You know the truth. Enjoy in the celebration. She is very insignificant .

[tadpole1025]

Thanks for the responses everyone.

I do believe that she is being "fake nice." As I've said before, she is all about appearances and wants everyone to believe that we "just agreed to divorce" or it was "amicable." If people believe that it was a "mutual thing", it takes all of the guilt away from her and what she did. I know the truth and so do my sons.

Personally, I believe that she just finally may be missing our friendship. I know that I'm a great guy and I also knew HER better than anyone. We had a wonderful history and that is something that she'll never have with OM no matter how hard she tries to re-write it.

Tad

[tadpole1025]

HELP.

Well, here we go. I'm sure I'll upset some with what I'm about to write....

I saw three of my sons tonight and got to talk to S24 regarding the upcoming baby shower. It turns out that the baby shower is more of a baby shower/barbecue/party. XSIL and XMIL will be there along with XW. S24 then proceeded to tell me that XW wants OM to be there as well and that he is probably going to invite him because that is what XW wants. I asked him why and he said that XW wants us all to be civil and get along. I feel that she is starting to push the issue. She needs to give up already.

Now, I know that many will feel that I should be the bigger person and go ahead and go. I also realize that eventually, with births and weddings that are sure to happen down the road, I will have to come face to face with OM. But....NOT NOW.

I am not going to be at a "party" with booze, music, XW and OM. I WILL NOT GO. I don't need the drama or the stress.

S24 said that XW just wants us to be friendly and get along. Just to be sure, I asked him again before I left who wanted OM there. He said that it was all XW. She doesn't understand why I don't want to be in the same room with them. Unreal. She left me for this fool and can't understand why I'm not happy-go-lucky and friendly towards them.

I'M DONE.

I was planning on going. I wasn't crazy about it, but I was willing to deal with XMIL, XSIL and XW. I will NOT be going if OM is there. Period.

Just to be clear, I told S24: "I'm not telling you to not invite him. Just know that if you do, it will be best if I don't go." He understood and said he'd think it over.

When my other son (S26) has events with his band, I go and support him and see XW although we don't talk. S26 says that OM doesn't go because he has made it clear that he doesn't want OM there.

XW seems to be really forcing the "getting along" and "being civil and friendly" thing a lot lately. I do believe that she thinks if it "appears" that all is fine, it keeps up her image and lifts a little of the guilt from her. I'm done with her. I want no friendship and would be perfectly happy never seeing her again. She needs to stop or we will have words...

Tad