My Story Part 3

[Manta]

Well today is WWs Birthday. Part of me would like to send her a message, however considering everything she has done so far and the manner in which she left me for her AP, also moved countries to be with him, i dont see amy value in it.

12 months ago we celebrated her b'day together with all her family in Ireland. It was a wonderful day and i would have never predicted what was to come a few months later.

I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment with her leaving Ireland without as much as a goodbye.

But that is the nature of a WW. I don't reward bad behaviours

[gzabetas]

that must be hard to deal with. birthdays. anniversaries.
I still havent crossed any first, but I am sure it will make me think of her.

Good call on not texting her. It would be weak I think.

We are the left behind, the discarded. If anyday they change their mind, they would need to make any first move.

Currently she is in the honeymoon phase with her AP, as is mine. That fantasy world will run its course and burn, as 2 immature individuals are running away from their selves really. But yourself catches up with you.

[neffer]

Time heals the wounds M. You keep on with GAL and detaching. You have been working on yourself, keep doing that. Can´t fix what you can´t control man. It´s hard to face reality without much closure but you need to do it. For your own sake.

You know you can stand there and look into your future with determination and hope. You wait for no one. Stand strong today Manta. You have the strength. Live the reality. Keep the GAL. Better times coming, you know that.

[AnotherStander]

Well today is WWs Birthday. Part of me would like to send her a message, however considering everything she has done so far and the manner in which she left me for her AP, also moved countries to be with him, i dont see amy value in it.

Yeah given how she departed without saying a word and just generally has been the Ice Princess to you, I would stick with zero contact.

But that is the nature of a WW. I don't reward bad behaviours

I can certainly understand your bitterness. But try and let it all go and focus on a newer, better Manta. I know it seems like everything worked out perfectly for her but WAS's are almost all dealing with internal demons and leaving their spouse rarely fixes that. She's probably struggling, but will never show it to anyone else. All you can do is leave her to her mess and move on to a better life for yourself.

[Manta]

Thanks everyone. I needed to hear that today. Appreciate all of you who have helped me since last year. I don't know where i would have been, without support, counselling and all of your advice.

I have come a long way, its been a rollercoaster.

But i will be ok. She hasn't broke me. She can't.

[Vapo]

Cut your losses. Either way you must do so. It was at about 6 mo. mark I started feeling better, the down phases started getting shorter and less severe and more time would have passed between them. Luckily you have no children, so there will be no dispute with regards to them.

She cheated on you before you got married, she cheated on you while you were (are) married, it does appear to me that you had a serial cheater on you hands.

And no, your love will not "save" her, as she does not need saving. She has more likely than not dedicated her life to the pursuit of happiness that she is so desperately wants to find. Alas, the search is evading her, and for the life of her she cannot realize why.

Even if she did return to you, there would be huge obstacles to overcome and in my view these obstacles are insurmountable. Find yourself a nice girl that will treat you right and using the knowledge you've accrued you can make a very different relationship that will fill you with joy for years to come.

[Manta]

Cut your losses. Either way you must do so. It was at about 6 mo. mark I started feeling better, the down phases started getting shorter and less severe and more time would have passed between them. Luckily you have no children, so there will be no dispute with regards to them.

She cheated on you before you got married, she cheated on you while you were (are) married, it does appear to me that you had a serial cheater on you hands.

And no, your love will not "save" her, as she does not need saving. She has more likely than not dedicated her life to the pursuit of happiness that she is so desperately wants to find. Alas, the search is evading her, and for the life of her she cannot realize why.

Even if she did return to you, there would be huge obstacles to overcome and in my view these obstacles are insurmountable. Find yourself a nice girl that will treat you right and using the knowledge you've accrued you can make a very different relationship that will fill you with joy for years to come.

Solid advice Vapo. Can't dispute with what you said.

[gzabetas]

AS very well put on the inner demons.
I just talked to my wife's dad letting him know, that basically I getting cut out of her life. I have had police reports on me and I suspect she will escalate on any next move. He has also been cut out.
WHen she crashes neither of us will be around to save her and my son I am afraid.

And no, your love will not "save" her, as she does not need saving. She has more likely than not dedicated her life to the pursuit of happiness that she is so desperately wants to find. Alas, the search is evading her, and for the life of her she cannot realize why.

Vapo you are so spot on. That is the look I see in W eyes. This desperation for happiness that must be out there.

But its not. Happiness is an inner journey mostly.

[Manta]

Ironically she said that to me to me last september, when i last met her in person.

"Im really happy now, not angry anymore." "You always said Manta happiness comes from within"..."I can do what i want now, not feel guilty... like play games on my phone all day, without feeling bad"...

I said was i controlling you, or did you feel i stopped you from doing the things you loved?

"Eh, no. You weren't ".......


The mind boggles , but thats cognitive dissonance.

She threw me and APs EXGF under the bus in the pursuit of her "Happiness". Wait until the dopamine wears off.

Her AP will have to deal with a truckload of drama and craziness. He has no idea what is in store, now shes moved over.
Funny is that APs EXGF lives in the same town, she is still scorned about what happened.

[Vapo]

Funny is that APs EXGF lives in the same town, she is still scorned about what happened.

M8, so are you. You are still trying to make sense of it all. Newsflash, there is no sense to be made in this whole mess. And you trying to make sense of it is just a HUGE waste of time, that would be MUCH more wisely spent on improving yourself, and upgrading yourself to Manta 2.0. You are not even aware the potential you can unlock if you choose to work on yourself. Amazing stuff can happen, awesome people will be attracted into your life. But that is not going to happen, if you keep moping about.

Recognize the fact that she is on a journey of her own, and you have your journey to take. Delete her from your life, remove the photos, remove her stuff that reminds you of her, remove her music, her clothes, her gifts. Lock them away where you will not be bombarded daily with memories of her.

One more thing you should know. It is very likely you are looking at her with rose colored glasses. That means you are way over romanticizing the relationship. Your mood will swing and swing violently. First you will be thinking how you still love her and that you would do anything to get her back, desperatly trying to find that illusive silver bullet that will fix it all, and the next moment you will wbe screaming That Fcuking B*tch! from the top of your voice.

This also is normal.

Stay strong buddy and get your a$$ in gear.