No gifts, cards, no nada! V day is a silly holiday for romantic couples, or maybe for kids in school to make crafts for.
Only spoil, take out, or buy gifts for the most important person -- yourself and you, yourself, and you, thats it!! Unless you have kids, they deserve some chocolate and a stuffy too.
As for your lying, cheating, or neglectful spouse? IGNORE them. Break the friendly neighbor rules, and don't even reply to any BS from them.
This site is starting to pain me a bit ...
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
I'm totally spoiling my XW this year for Valentine's Day. I went and got her a big ol ball of nothing. I can give it to her or not, either way she still gets nothing.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
My favorite: Family night out. You schedule taking the kids out and invite your S along, They'll either come or not, but you and the kids go out and enjoy regardless!
For those of you with kids, this is the most you should do.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
If any LBS wants to look needy, pathetic, and weak - please go ahead and do something for V day for your WS/WAS. If you have kids, the most you should do is support your kids if they want to make something or get sweets. Taking them out with an open invitation to WS/WAS - nope nope nope!
I'm totally spoiling my XW this year for Valentine's Day. I went and got her a big ol ball of nothing. I can give it to her or not, either way she still gets nothing.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
How about going down to the uhaul store and buying some packing boxes.... You could even write the cheaters name on them:
"Cheaters Stuff"
Hahahaha! Oh man I usually don't get my daily dose of humor from this forum, but today I did
No gifts, cards, no nada! V day is a silly holiday for romantic couples, or maybe for kids in school to make crafts for.
Only spoil, take out, or buy gifts for the most important person -- yourself and you, yourself, and you, thats it!! Unless you have kids, they deserve some chocolate and a stuffy too.
As for your lying, cheating, or neglectful spouse? IGNORE them. Break the friendly neighbor rules, and don't even reply to any BS from them.
This site is starting to pain me a bit ...
Blu
Blu you know I respect your opinion. And if the LBS can pull this off fine. But most of us in the heat of our sitch struggle with this. I tend to lean toward the "get her something from the kids" or the family night out options. But gift cards are also not a bad option. Just don't get a cheesy card for it. Just write on the gift card, Happy Valentine's Day.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Steve, I see where you are trying to come from. When suggestions like these are made from coaches, etc., their viewpoint is that you are trying to somehow "draw her back" into attracting her. Maybe the WS had fond romantic memories of valentine's day or something else. Heck, as recently as three weeks ago I posted here about needing to warm up a little to my WW so that I can avoid divorce in the hopes I can attract her again. (Obviously not about that anymore. But that stuff goes into my own thread)
My suggestion would be to approach at your own discretion if you are considering a gift for WS/WAS. It may be good for possible R efforts, it may not be.
The other suggestion of not doing anything for WS/WAS will provide a more guaranteed result:
A better, stronger self.
If you want to celebrate Valentine's day, do it for yourself. Love yourself first. It's what you can control best.
