I thought I had mentioned this prior to leaving but perhaps not. I was told of this when he called me. BTW, it sounds like what I really said on the phone and what he heard (and told wild girl) were two different things. Interesting. Anyhow, it was pure, pure coincidence. His older sister and her husband had booked this cruise many months ago - just like many people do. It came out near the holidays that they are going on a cruise. Then out of Miami then on the same ship and same date. What are the chances. Either Wild Girl really doesn't get it or has nerves of steal. I met the sister a few times on the ship throughout the week. Wild Girl hung out with them a few times - including when I had to do a couple of early afternoon performances. Wild Girl came to all of the evening events with me but her and the other girls hung by the pool - which totally they should. So I'm sure sister and BIL saw us together - and they had friends there so if they didn't see us, it's pure luck. Wild girl was cautious about any PDA but it's not like there was none.
Human nature like this fascinates me. What bothers me is I'm beyond honest. I tell it like it is, don't lie and you always know where you stand with me. That just simply is not what many people do - including Wild Girl. Part of me wonders if it's a protection thing. Mostly I just think she weaves the truth to fit what she wants. I even heard her "whisper" to sister "We are just friends" with me standing there. First, I thought, don't protest too much. Why feel the need to say something like that unless you are trying to convince her otherwise. I think it was shortly after that when sister texted her brother that she was sorry. Of course he flipped out over that and got right on the phone to Wild Girl. Thank God we were leaving port and all service was going away until briefly on Friday. I pieced this together BTW - so I'm not positive on it but I'll bet I'm close.
So, yes, it was interesting to say the least. My friends trying to figure out what in the heck is going on. His sister watching. And Wild Girl trying to keep all of the balls up in the air, acting like my friend in public and mostly like my date when no one was around - although she didn't initiate kisses, hand holding, etc. near as much as I did. The sex I was very very careful not to push. But even that, the morning after the first night she fakes that she can't remember. "We didn't have sex last night did we?" She remembered EVERYTHING else - EVERYTHING from filling out the room service breakfast request to getting ready for bed, etc. - yet pretended that part was foggy. I'm like huh? Then it was "Oh yeah, it's coming back to me now." Whatever. Again, I was very, very careful to let her take the lead - and not to be graphic but right down to letting her guide everything into place. I really hope that's not TMI but I'm trying to paint an honest picture here of human dynamics - or at least Wild Girl dynamics. I in no way took advantage of her.
Lots of response to the pictures online including one of the many friends I have from different states who will see me this weekend commenting that he can't wait to meet Wild Girl. There is a huge event in Chicago this weekend with the same crowd and they just assume Wild Girl will be there. That's very doubtful although she said she did have the weekend off and "who knows." I took that to mean if new guy kicks her to the curb she will be taking a ride to see everyone and stay with me. I can't tell you how many people have commented - both how happy I look and about Wild Girl. What must this guy be thinking. To be a fly on the wall. I may text her later and likely call either tonight or tomorrow night.
Off to the dentist here to do my crown prep and then I'll regale the discussions about how we got to where we are - from Wild Girls view anyhow. Very, very different than my view. Is the truth somewhere in the middle? It may be very interesting for you all to hear both sides. I will be very interested in hearing your thoughts on it.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Congratulations on a fun and successful cruise! As sad as it makes me to say it, I'm certain you had more fun with Wild Girl than you would've had with me. Oh well.
My guess would be that wild girl feels quite pleased with herself. She probably brags about her situation with her friends. Feels like she is impressing them with her free spirited, or F all men im gonna do what i wanna do and they are gonna all chase after me and i get a free cruise story. They will all sit around drinking wine and laugh about it. Especially the part about having the dudes sister there.
I know tons of women out there like that. I have aquaintances that do the same. They are not deep individuals worthy of dissecting. The aquaintances i know that would do that also do stuff like f guys in bar bath rooms but have poor self esteem deep down that they keep hidden. They usually pretend to be great parents but secretly exploit the other moms and family members to help with the kids. (As a single mom with limited vacation time - if i took my time off to spend a vacation with him, he would have to be super meaningful in my life. ) these women tend to be filled with drama. And the attention they get at an age when they are not getting quite as much attention is appealing to them.
Im sure she feels just as powerful knowing she was able to get a man to cheat on his girl friend of 14 years with her. This just prooves how special she is. How beautiful and attractive she is to the opposite sex. In her mind anyway.
Describing her as having nerves of steel is giving her too much credit and indicates a form of admiration. Really, shes just a liar..the by ommission sort and is quite lacking as a human being.
I agree with all of you. At least in the most part. I thought I'd have a bigger vacation high and larger depression. I'm surprised that both are tempered. The high was not as high and the "depression" lasted a few hours Sunday and has not returned. Right or wrong, my near entire focus was on having this cruise go well. And it did. Was it worth all of the bumps getting here - oddly yes - although I would much, much rather not have gone through that. I'll tell you something else, I'm not one bit upset that as of today we've not yet been asked back for next year. I'm almost relieved.
JuJu you hit on much of it - perhaps most. I really do think that she does feel a little guilt and a little bit bad - but not enough to stop or alter her behavior. I don't deny she feels "pleased" with herself pulling this off but I think even more, she somehow feels this is vindication or her gift for having endured through her marriage and the last guy dumping her. The self-esteem piece is dead on. I saw that in weeks one and two. She has very low self esteem. She doesn't think she's pretty, or worthy and uses sex to get men. She readily admits that she married her ex husband because she thought he was the best she could do and no one else would want her. She has to feel incredible having some guy (me) take her on the longest and one of the best vacations of her life and have this new guy overlook it and be waiting with total excitement for her to return. When we briefly spoke about posting pictures, I was a touch surprised when she said she was going to post all of them - including with me. She even made a comment about being proud that I took her. Interesting.
The drama part does not fit as much. I have to give her this, she is very nice and very kind to people. Is it an act? Who knows? Of the group of 8 at our dinner table a few of them liked to gossip about others. Wild Girl was very quiet often and hates this type of thing. There was an adult autistic man in the group of 600. I did not know him but he's the son of a sax player in the large big band that was core. I think he's 50. He's high function but you can tell he's not right. I tend to try to ignore these people as if you don't, they will hang on you all week. Wild Girl on the other hand took the time to dance with him, was nice to him and I'm sure made him feel great. The others could not understand it and I think secretly wished she would shut him down so he would not bother us. I don't think this was feeding her ego in any way. It's just who she is. Even broken people can have some redeeming qualities.
Originally Posted by LH19
As coach would say "she's a great playmate but not relationship material".
That's what I've been saying from the get go - "she's fun to play with, but that's about it." Perhaps I'm in the wrong. Maybe I used her as much as she used me? But I don't deny it. It's why I never pursued a committed R with her. Well part of it anyhow along with not trusting her, etc. She got along well with everyone, never gave me any grief, was supportive of the "work" I had to do, was very appreciative and thanked me often, bought drinks and food, etc. (pre and post cruise) as much as I did. And I don't even have to "deal with her" after. Doesn't make me look too good but at least I'm honest about it. If I had more quality women to chose from I'd chose differently. My choices were what they were and in the end I really don't regret it. Over the last couple months I certainly did, but not in the end. Hopefully the real deal will not be too far down the road in my future. I do like her. It's just too bad she's so broken - and I don't see that ever changing.
Originally Posted by doodler
Congratulations on a fun and successful cruise! As sad as it makes me to say it, I'm certain you had more fun with Wild Girl than you would've had with me. Oh well.
I was way ahead of the curve on this one too. LOL Great to see you finally admit it. Plus, Wild Girl really does look great in a black dress!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Please start a new thread and link the two threads together. Thanks!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
