My point is if DH is going to go through with the with the trip it's bound to happen. What happens between two consenting non married adults is their business.
Before we blame everything on WG, Don never answered my question on when is the last time they hung out.
She has restored your faith in her? She is lying to her boyfriend to get a free cruise, couldn't tell you to your face or earlier about her boyfriend and now your faith is restored because she is going with you under a fake guise?
I am sorry Don. You deserve better than this. And if you think this is redeeming, you need to set your standards a little higher. you deserve more respect than this.
But if this makes you happy and allows you to enjoy yourself, so be it. But I would never look her way again after the cruise.
WHAT GINGER SAID!!!!!!!
OMG....seriously?!?!?! Restored your faith in her? Don, come on now, you seem like a confident guy and even said on a post on J9’s thread yesterday that you tell it like it is. To coin yet another phrase my father uses all the time, that doesn’t gee haw for me. I know I just made a long rambling post the other day about forgiveness so this sounds strange coming from me. I’m not advocating that you shouldn’t forgive her at some point but that she called and said she’s still going under totally false pretenses and that restores your faith in her, that leaves me dumbfounded. Like G said, you deserve SO much more.
Like juju, I feel like I live in a completely different world than most woman and what this one did to you is the reason that women all get lumped together and men claim there aren’t any good ones. Ugh!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Ginger, if wild girls new boyfriend broke up with with his long term 14 year relationship 2 months ago, and now declares wild girl his new girlfriend...thats indicative of wild girl having been a OW. Wild girl has also been semii ghosting don for a while now. So time lines dont make her nor her new boyfriend innocent.
And these are the clues no one seems to care about when it comes to women. I have a aquaintance that was keeping a guy on the side while she dated another wealthy one that bought her everything. All while she gives her kids to baby sitters and pretends to be an involved parent. Shes nuts and a really bad person. Yet men go for this. They dont settle down with her though.
Maybe when guys subconsiously dont want a real relationship, they feel like these are better women to date?
Good point, Juju. Neither part is innocent. I don't get it.
LH, if you aren't married, everything is free game? I may not get married again, but if I am in a committed relationship, I don't think everything is free game or morally correct.
Oh, and my exH was my friend's boyfriend. I was 19 and I live with guilt to this day, although 20 years later, me and her are still good friends. It's not something I would ever do again or be able to live with again.
I hooked up a few times with a coworker back in the day. He had this one and off girlfriend I never met. I admit, in the middle of hooking up, I actually stopped and asked if he was still with his girlfriend. He said yes and game was over. It's just something morally I would never want to be in the middle. It's basically messed up my life and other people's lives and it is always best to stay out of other people's relationships. Married or not married.
I think maybe I get where Don is coming from. After all, he never had an exclusive thing with her. If she was seeing other men plural but still wanted to keep their date for this trip that would be ok with him I think.
Now if her new guy really dumped his girlfriend for her but she's not ready to be in an exclusive relationship with him, that's kinda between the two of them. Her not telling him she's slept with Don is pretty sketchy but seriously, what kind of idiot must he be if he doesn't figure it out?
Don I think you've known all along that Wild Girl wasn't a long term choice for you, but that she gave you a taste of the companionship that you crave. Just go enjoy the company and move forward.
Hey look everyone - I've got an active thread - me - I'm popular!!! LMAO. yes that's my sarcastic humor.
Omg so many good points here and I really want to respond to them all but we'll need to piece it in. KML is again understanding. IVE GONE ON DATES TOO!!!! Remember online girl? And Swedish Goddess? So how is it much different? The last time WG and I were together was in October. Sex was early September.
Juju you caught what most others here have missed. This guy is not innocent. I first was told of him by WG Labor Day weekend. Her "buddy" stopped over to vent about his 14 year GF who had recently moved in. It was weeks later that WG started to distance and cool. It was then October or early November when this new guy broke it off with his 14 year GF. It's clear that HE was fooling around on his GF with WG. When he had WG he THEN broke up with GF. I'll stake money in it. He went directly from one to the next. If they do it with you they will do it to you. So neither of them are inicent here and both will likely pay the price in the end when one does the same thing again with someone else. I assure you it won't be me.
I agree with many of the other comments as well. I very clearly misspoke or was not clear when I said she's redeemed herself. She has not. What I'm trying to say is I had the bar set extremely low to start with. Look back at my comments early on as I said she was broken. The last 72 hours she was at rock bottom in my eyes. She's come up a few floors. That's what I should have said.
Finally for now, it's easy to say go alone. Forget everything else about that. Take 15 $100 bills out if your wallet or your bank and light them on fire. I dare you - go ahead. Wait better yet, go to your boss or the cash register and take those 15 bills and light them. That may put this in perspective. Taking or allowing wild girl to go is still better than any alternative I was able to come up with in the last 72 hours. If I had a good alternative I'd take it. The few I even have were only slightly better than nothing and certainly more risky than keeping things the way they have been since late August. So now... Now do you all see why I wanted to wait as long as possible to name someone? Those of youbshonsaid do it sooner than later - do you get it now?
I'll hit the other items soon.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Oddly enough, I feel fine about it all - mostly because it restores a little bit of faith in human nature in general and Wild Girl in particular.
Oh, wait a minute... I did say it pretty clearly. Even though I clarified above I did say "restores a little bit of faith" - which is what I meant - further clarified above by saying my faith was at Rock bottom and now has come up a few floors.
Misquoted again.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
. As the coach says hang out, hook up, and have fun DH.