Oh wow.. this is turning into an absolute car crash.
David.. I said many months ago what would happen if you didn't get your act together. You have had so much good advise from people who have been there and got the t shirt and you have ignored everything.
Your desperation is palpable and your quest to get wife to 'snap out of it' is nothing but a fantasy. She doesn't love you nor does she want to be with you - why are you taking so long to understand this?
Im sorry for the harshness but you really need to start looking in the mirror here because your view on reality is sadly warped.
Benito, I do understand it. WW is currently a selfish, greedy, manipulative liar with no empathy so will get what she wants at any cost. She sees it as a battle for money and the kids. There's nothing I can do about how she is, and I don't want to be with someone being like that. She is on a mission to get what she wants (kids and money) she won't start to change until she has what she wants.
I keep getting very close to filling for D. I was ready to do it yesterday after seeing WW but upon arriving home there was a letter about a report on the kids and it says their wish is for W & I to get back together. I've not slept all night with that dilemma on my mind.
There's nothing I can do about how she is, and I don't want to be with someone being like that.
But....
1) You KEEP having these discussions like you posted on the last page. Whats the point? If you are trying to get her to 'wake up', it isnt working. You just keep smashing your head into the wall. "I dont approve of you stealing money from me".....like, how does that come across as anything particularly relevant at this time? I think when you see her, you should drink 15 STFU smoothies and just leave it alone.
2) You are talking about inviting her to Christmas dinner.......
There's nothing I can do about how she is, and I don't want to be with someone being like that.
But....
1) You KEEP having these discussions like you posted on the last page. Whats the point? If you are trying to get her to 'wake up', it isnt working. You just keep smashing your head into the wall. "I dont approve of you stealing money from me".....like, how does that come across as anything particularly relevant at this time? I think when you see her, you should drink 15 STFU smoothies and just leave it alone.
It had crossed my mind that W might be hiding money because she assumed that I'd be doing it too. I had read somewhere that people in such circumstances often assume that their spouse is doing the same money hiding stuff so I thought I'd say to WW that I'm not doing that sort of thing.
Here's a really weird thing... I've just spoken to a shop worker who sees W taking money out and W doesn't know that I know them. They said they had just seen W and (for the first time since months before BD) W paid for goods in cash rather than paying on a card and taking out cash. Now either W has changed her ways about hiding money and is using cash she's hidden or she somehow knows how I'm aware of one of her scams so is going out of her way to be seen paying in cash.
Originally Posted by Amoafwl
You are talking about inviting her to Christmas dinner.......
So you talked to a shop worker about your w spending habits? That is just so strange - and stalker like! Currently you are no longer together so can she not spend money on what she wishes?
As for Christmas dinner - enjoy the time with your kids. What positive would come from inviting her over? Your last conversation seemed to be about making your wife apologise.
M: 17 T:17 Me:42 H:48 BD 23/12/2017 H says ‘I don’t want to be married’ D 17 D 15, D 13, S 10, S 10
A shop worker approached me to mention it as so much cash had been taken so often. WW pays for something of low value and then asks for maximum cash back. It then shows on bank statements as one cost not the cash listed - it's a way she can take and hide cash from a D as then there's no trace of the cash on the statements. A few weeks ago I overheard some women W knows saying they were doing the same scam hiding money ahead of their divorces.
Another coincidence today, I went into a city to purchase presents and walking towards me was one of the kids with my in-laws. Apparently, W had gone to get her moustache waxed. I had to laugh.
Weird thing tonight... I sent a text saying I wanted a share of the money we get from the gov for the kids and to set up a direct debit. Later when exchanging the kids WW tried to give me an envelope of cash. I said I didn't want it in cash, that I wanted a bank transfer so there is a record of it. She's really smart and manipulative because she said to the kids that she was giving me money and how much it was (as if to make her look good). Now she knows that I know she's been taking cash she could be looking to pay me in cash so that she can explain why she has so much of it.
Kids have told me that WAW/WW is setting them up with bank accounts and not to tell me else I would take their money, and that WW has told them she wants a D and her parents are to sell their house and move next to W once D has happened.
W and her parents have planned all this so much that I can't see WW changing her mind even if she wanted to do so.
I've had a really good day today. I went to counselling, then went into a cathedral where I spoke to a religious person who has listened and said prayers for me (they seem to work). Whilst there I picked up a book about unicorns and it said to close your eyes for 2 mins and listen, then think of a unicorn, I then made a wish to meet someone new. There was nobody around but as I left a woman walked past me. I then thought Umm... I walked back and spoke to her. I said I know this seems really weird but I've just read a book and it said what to do and then you walked past. We had a laugh about it. We spoke for more than 2 hours stood in a gift shop. It was great. I tried to excuse myself to leave a few times but she wanted me to stay to talk. She was amazing to talk too. I was stood there thinking 'why didn't W and I ever talk like this?'. She said her interest - it's top of my GAL to do list. She gave me the details of the club she's in and which night it's held but I can't do it at the moment as that is when I have the kids but that will likely change.
On the court case for the kids, it seems that If I challenge the recommendations then I will get a day in court. I've been totally straight-up an honest. I hope it's noticed.
