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Originally Posted by Dtrmned
Absolutely not.

I am resigned to that fact though as I see no other alternative.

I know that regardless, I will be fine and my kids will be fine. I am just tired. My career has suffered over the last 18 months immensely and I just need to get that back going. Her issues are just that, her issues. If we are still married, separated or not, I don't know how to do that and I believe I will be sucked back in and used more.

does that make any sense whatsoever?


Yes and no.

However, until you can answer the question with a yes, you are not ready to file....jointly or otherwise.

Do not file for D thinking it will end your pain. It will not. And certainly do not push for filing to evoke a response from her. It will backfire. Until you can answer yes to that question, make her do the work. If she wants a D let her do the filing, the paperwork, everything. Don't help with something you don't want.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Steve. I'm going to think on what you said for a little while prior to responding.


M51 W44
T21 M18
D14 S11
BD date 9/17
W filed 02/18
W withdrew petition following week
In house separation 03/18
In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18
W is moving out by mid Nov 2018
A drawing up paperwork 11/18

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If it helps....there may come a day when you DO want a D. That you are tired of everything and say rather than wait any longer I WANT it to be. It sounds like you are on that road now with your first response. But you still said no to wanting a D.

I view it like knee surgery. No one wants knee surgery. But when you get to the point where it hurts immensely to walk then you say you want it rather than dealing with what you have. Everyone facing knee surgery deals with that. Similar to everyone facing D deals with it. We all know the recovery is long and difficult, so we put it off as long as we can but eventually cross over from avoidance to actually wanting it.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
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Ok.
I absolutely don't want a divorce.
I also absolutely cannot live in this situation any longer.
What other option do I have?


M51 W44
T21 M18
D14 S11
BD date 9/17
W filed 02/18
W withdrew petition following week
In house separation 03/18
In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18
W is moving out by mid Nov 2018
A drawing up paperwork 11/18

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Originally Posted by Dtrmned
Ok.
I absolutely don't want a divorce.
I also absolutely cannot live in this situation any longer.
What other option do I have?




How bad is the pain when you walk? Is it so bad that you are willing to go under the knife and face months of physical therapy? Or can you live with it a while longer?


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Originally Posted by Steve85
Originally Posted by Dtrmned
What other option do I have?

How bad is the pain when you walk? Is it so bad that you are willing to go under the knife and face months of physical therapy? Or can you live with it a while longer?

Are we dealing with arthritis or a broken bone? The bone could heal, but the cartilage won't.


H: 35 W: 33
M: 11 T: 13

4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1")
6/23/18: I moved out
8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
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I am at the edge.


M51 W44
T21 M18
D14 S11
BD date 9/17
W filed 02/18
W withdrew petition following week
In house separation 03/18
In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18
W is moving out by mid Nov 2018
A drawing up paperwork 11/18

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Posts: 362
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Shout out to Steve for at least holding me on the edge yesterday.

Weird how life is. My D has a medical situation that required all of us coming together. So yesterday would have ended up being a really bad day to do anything to push my MR/D situation anywhere.

We came together well. Situation is still on going. No one got any sleep last night. Today will be more of the same.

Focus is all on our daughter right now. Period.


M51 W44
T21 M18
D14 S11
BD date 9/17
W filed 02/18
W withdrew petition following week
In house separation 03/18
In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18
W is moving out by mid Nov 2018
A drawing up paperwork 11/18

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,826
Likes: 233
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D, I'll keep your D and your family in my prayers.

I love that you are focusing on your D, very well played.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 362
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Thanks Steve.
I read your other post you put up. Read it all. VERY much true and I appreciate all of your insight.
Lots to do today, so probably not much posting or reading the rest of today.

Anyone reading, a prayer for my daughter and my family would be greatly appreciated!!


M51 W44
T21 M18
D14 S11
BD date 9/17
W filed 02/18
W withdrew petition following week
In house separation 03/18
In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18
W is moving out by mid Nov 2018
A drawing up paperwork 11/18

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