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I'm planning on telling her what AS said that the research I did is that it is geared toward troubled marriages, not parental communication.

I'm not going to stop her at all in moving out as I do think it gives her a chance to "lose" some things ( being around the kids every day, etc.) and possibly miss me.

I am going to go dark, detach and focus on the kids. I'm planning on going to my GAL that I originally intended to do and she can take this weekend to move her stuff out while I'm not around.


M: 34 W:34
D:7 D:6 S:3

M: 9.5 years T: 12

OM found & BD (by me): 9/19/18
IHS begins
W informs me she's moving out: 11/28/18
W files: 12/21/18
D Final: 2/25/19
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
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^^^^^^^

That may be the best post I have read from you to date!

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I think she wants me to help her move her stuff when the time comes. Like a bed for instance. I have a pickup and she can't move a bed by herself.

Do I help her or tell her to go find someone else....?


M: 34 W:34
D:7 D:6 S:3

M: 9.5 years T: 12

OM found & BD (by me): 9/19/18
IHS begins
W informs me she's moving out: 11/28/18
W files: 12/21/18
D Final: 2/25/19
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 494
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lol I'd tell her I was busy...then make yourself scarce that day.

You want the single life...here it is!

Last edited by lost8; 11/28/18 04:44 PM.

H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019
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Originally Posted by lost8
lol I'd tell her I was busy...then make yourself scarce that day.

You want the single life...here it is!


That's pretty much how I feel about it! You want to leave our M and leave me but want me to help you in doing so?! Let's be realistic just ONCE for god sake's.


M: 34 W:34
D:7 D:6 S:3

M: 9.5 years T: 12

OM found & BD (by me): 9/19/18
IHS begins
W informs me she's moving out: 11/28/18
W files: 12/21/18
D Final: 2/25/19
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
Likes: 19
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Just don´t say it man. You get some GAL with the kids and way you go. Disappear.


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
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W,

Personal choice. My ex didn't ask, I didn't offer. She moved while I was out of town with the kids.

I believe AS helped and I know J9 helped.

Just know either way it changes nothing.

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Originally Posted by LH19
W,

Personal choice. My ex didn't ask, I didn't offer. She moved while I was out of town with the kids.

I believe AS helped and I know J9 helped.

Just know either way it changes nothing.


She said something about "if I'm around after the kids go to bed." Maybe she meant so I can stay home with the kids while they are asleep and she moves. Not sure. Guess I'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I suppose I can let her use my pickup to move the larger items. After all, we did work together so income and finances were combined and she probably feels like she has the right to use it, which I probably can't argue with.


M: 34 W:34
D:7 D:6 S:3

M: 9.5 years T: 12

OM found & BD (by me): 9/19/18
IHS begins
W informs me she's moving out: 11/28/18
W files: 12/21/18
D Final: 2/25/19
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 308
W
Wanted1 Offline OP
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Posts: 308
I'm just thinking ahead, but if she tries to bring up the possibility of "hanging out" at the house between the time when she gets home from work and the kids go to bed, how do I tackle that topic?

IMO, if she's moving out, she's moving out. There is no coming around our house to be around the kids while they are awake only to go retreat to her apartment once they go to sleep. That doesn't work for me. She needs to truly feel what its going to be like, which means I get the kids Sun-Thur (due to her commute to and from work and not being around to get them ready in the morning, pick them up, feed them, etc.) and then she will have them Friday-Sun 3 weekends a month and I'm hoping she will agree to me getting them 1 weekend a month. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. But, I'm sure she will have other ideas.

My plan is, IF this would come up is be straightforward and tell her that doesn't work for me. My time with them is my time with them and you are moving out to be outside and away from the MH and I, which on these days includes the kids as well.

Unless anyone has a better idea of how to handle it?


M: 34 W:34
D:7 D:6 S:3

M: 9.5 years T: 12

OM found & BD (by me): 9/19/18
IHS begins
W informs me she's moving out: 11/28/18
W files: 12/21/18
D Final: 2/25/19
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
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Absolutely. Boundaries. That doesn't work for me.

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