Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can

[marina7]

Peacetoday, Gerda and all my friends.

Yes it must be the holiday thing,
Hope this pass.

It's been quite around lately which is scary usually
When is quite something happens.

W is an interesting character as I stated I
Sometimes don't know who am getting.

I stay quiet and Low.

Well fall is here, it's been raining and gloomy
I dated myself this weekend made
Myself covered chocolate strawberries
And purchase flowers and set them up.

Been watching movies and relaxing, house is quite
of course. Missing Trios.

Gerda, yes you are right that is how I survive
I tell myself W died is like having a evil twin sister.
As I say I stay low and away from W.


Peacetoday,
I only wish W the best. I pray W is happy
I remember clearly the day BD, the only thing I have
Actually believe W is when she stated I lost myself
I truly believe W. She did lose herself, but I think we all
Do as parents and spouse. I hope W is happy with OW
If I couldn't make her happy maybe OW does.

Thank you agin for advice, I have let go ,
I don't hover over s10 as I know W uses s10 as
Her game. Because W knows I love my kids.
I believe W knows I have let her go so s10 has
Became her new twisted game in her head.

Just taking it a day at a time. Now mentally preparing
Myself for Thanksgiving as I might not have s10 again
This year. But I now let God take over. God knows I want
Our trio's together. Hoping for a miracle.

[peacetoday]

Yes a miracle is coming your way!

Listen to Joel olsteen if your inclined
he has a great message

[marina7]

Peacetoday,

Yes a Miracle is all now I depend on.

So weekend was good, besides stressing about finances
I received a email from lawyer and GAL
Gal needs a payment ASAP or she won't be able to represent my kids case
Lawyers know my situation so lawyer is worker with me.

As many know I have no family, I basically raised myself I have had several surgeries I
Can't work. And if I could who then would watch s9 and d10.
I now only can pray. Because I still remember clearly that I was told
By GAL financially one of you will give up because it will cost you to much

Yelp that would be me. I have no money. My bf said to open a
GoFundMe page. But as I stated I won't because there is worse
People out there. This is a fight I must do.
But it has also gotten me thinking I should start once I get on my feet
How can I make a difference in someone life that has gone through many
Of us do when MLC leave us. Many of us is left with nothing in my case
That was me. My W took every penny. And left me with bills, and everything in the
House. We rented so is not like I could have sold the house.

But I count my blessings with what I have. But it's sad that I might have to give
Up this fight because financially I can't. And if I have an extra 200 left a month
I need to feed s9 and d10 they are growing and need food, clothes warm bed ect
W doesn't see that. W has stated you have family call them.

Mind you this is the family that are f up in head from drugs, child Abuse, physical abuse
Alchohol. I can go on with why I left 20yrs ago.

[Gerda]

Hi, Marina -- I don't know what your situation is as far as reasons you can't work, but what I decided in mine -- I already have 6 part-time jobs, and I can't take a full time job because of my kids' needing me so much, and esp my son refusing to go to school and having to work so hard to get him to go each day.

But I decided that there is nothing more important than their being represented in this horrible custody situation, so I decided to ask all of my cousins and friends for small loans to put a retainer together, and I have gotten a few thousand that way. And for the rest,I am going to find a 7th job. It's only going to be for a little while, and I have to do it for my kids. You can't give up. Your W is crazy! You can't leave the kids with her! And she already has a live-in OW?! That is really unhealthy for them to be around that!

Is there anything at all you can do for work while your kids are at school so you can make something extra to pay that lawyer? Can you be a para at their school? Can you work part-time at a grocery store? Can you rent out a room in your house on AirBnB or to a regular renter?

[DnJ]

Hello marina

I am still following along, seeing all the wonderful advice you are getting.

I have a question / concern / suggestion.

I have no money. My bf said to open a
GoFundMe page. But as I stated I won't because there is worse
People out there. This is a fight I must do.

Why will you not consider a GoFundMe page, your bf has an interesting, and outside the box idea.

You state because there is worse [off] people out there. Are you worried if you take some money someone else will get less? There is lots of disposable money to go around. Someone may just be looking to support you and your situation, and not something else, so they end up doing nothing.

Yes, none of us are the worst off, one can always find someone less fortunate, someone they can reach out too. That does not dimish your own needs or those of your children.

You can get help, you can do this, without stepping on others along the way. Something I have seen you demonstrate already.

Focusing on and protecting you and your kids extends beyond just W and OW. You are the one who needs to fight for your kids, they are too young to do it for themselves.

As I said, I was wondering your reasoning and reluctance to explore this option.

Hope you have a great day.

DnJ

[marina7]

Gerda, DnJ and everyone else who been following
My stitch.

Well here is a couple answers to questions.
Gerda, work so 2yrs ago I almost lost
My left hand. And is also my left hand, is my left
Hand I did everything as I am a lefty. I was injured
At work. I have gone through 7 surgeries. The
Last surgery they installed a pain stimulator. Basically
I was wired from my brain to my spine and I control
Myself so I can control movements in left hand.
As that was done. This is when W clean me out and left

I had money saved we where in a good place but oneday
W woke up and financially took it all. So as my worker's
Comp lawyers said we gotten this far. If you go back to work
They will stop paying for medical needs. I am in the process of
Getting pain stimulator reinstall and they infused my vertical c4
C5 and c6 they are fused together I am having difficulty with infection
And movement and pain of course.

So yes I have considered going back to work. I am put in a situation that
I must go and forget about me, i know we supposed to care for ourselves
But honestly my situation is getting worse I will explain that.

I don't have family I left at a very young ago to protect
Myself from mental and physical abuse. I have been on my own
So if I call people I removed myself from almost 20yrs ago. Also
Know I am opening a door that I should have kept close

DnJ
GoFundMe page, well let's say I have not many friends that will
Help. I am basically been a loner always I like to stay in my world.
I never been social, and I also have no family I could ask for help.
So yeah that would be hard to even begin

I have a social media but that also will open up alot of questions as I
Have been quite about my situation. It's only been me and the trio's
I moved here for W. I have lots of W friends and family still. Some
Of them don't speak to W and don't know how bad this is. In one weekend
Things turned horribly.

Ok so now let me go to this weekend
I pick up d10 and s9, W of course should not get out the car or
Get next to mines. Well W gets out and walks s9 and d10 to car.
I didn't moved or said anything. W says Hi while s10 is hugging me
S10 jump in car giving me hugs and kisses.

I realized W needs control. Is crazy

Well d10 and s9 where very quiet. Literally quite
I knew something happened they where so quiet
Like broken. Like there spirit broken.
I just held them and reassured them I love
Them and they safe and I am here.

So yesterday after school they both sitting in tables head
Down. I was cooking. I hear a little voice
Mommy come here I sit with them s9 grabs my hand and says
Don't cry amd remember what you told me. Its not your fault.
I said ok s9. But as he was speaking those words my stomach knotted
Felt like I was going to vomit. I started breathing because I knew whatever
Happened this weekend they where about to tell me.

S9 has his head down. I lift his chin and said I am here and held his hand
S9, well this weekend mom choked me, and punch me and was dragging me
Around.
D10 I heard everything I ran to help me mom yeld get back to bed.
S9 Mom got mad because I was playing and not going to sleep.
Ow was in my face screaming [censored] the f up
S9 I don't want to go back I will kill myself if I have to go back.

I of course froze. I had to get my thoughts together.
I know I must now figure out what's next.
I got myself together at first I wanted to go to W house and beat
Her door down. But in reality I am the stable parent.

I got on the phone GAL and my lawyer
Unfortunately there response was well
You can call CPS but they going investigation
But they will close it as W is not consistent.

W had two open case and always have blamed s9
For everything. The two cps case was for also choking him
And ow gripping him up.

There's been marks but I guess not enough for child abuse
Mental abuse forsure. W speaks so ill to them and horribly

Now I have called the police department and cps. Now I am waiting for them
To interview kids and so on.

Today taking s9 to therapy and see what I need to do to
Help him deal with this. W only seems to pick on him
Remember s9 was my nephew We adopted him.
So s9 looks like me and have all my characters.
He the type of kid you can't bribe he will speak
Out which I love about him.

My poor baby is hurting and I can't do nothing.
I need all the prayers and support.

I am struggling and I honestly feel lawyers are more
Worried about pay. Instead of kids mental and physical
Well being.

[sjohns6]

oh marina, that is HORRIBLE!

I am not a legal expert so I can't really advise you on that front, but that makes me sick and I think I would have had a hard time not going to Ws house and kicking down the door. I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this while recovering from all your surgeries. Well, I'd be sorry about that whether you were recovering or not but the recovery makes it all the harder to kick down the door.

That seems like flat out abuse...is there no way to remove her rights based on that? Sorry, again...I am clueless in that arena. I'd be perusing removing her ability to see them unsupervised, but I guess that costs money. If you start a go fund me page, are you allowed to share the link here? I'd share it with my peeps.

My thoughts are with you. I wish I had some kind of useful advice, but you have my support.

((marina))

[peacetoday]

Marina

Im so sorry

Do your investigating to see what the legal aspect of this is
and maybe see if s can not do visits, or at least temporarily
get all the information that you can and pray
maybe you can ask therapist to ask W if it would be easier for her ans OW - not to have s if she sees him as a problem

Im not sure why the court would allow a child to be abused by a parent
this is against the law-there is no excuse for that-

I would move heaven and earth to protect my kids from that craziness
I would do anything and everything within my power

sometimes you can call and L will give free legal advice
family lawyers
I would call a few to get suggestions
especially if yours are not helping-

hang in there-

[Kyh]

Marina, this is terrible I feel horrible for the kids. Im not sure about state’s but when I thought my ex took off w the kids (I’m really not sure she that didn’t and turn around once lawyers started calling) my attorney was ready to file an emergency custody order. Maybe it’s something you could speak w your attorney about.

[DnJ]

marina,

That is horrible. I read that and got p!ssed off, angry! How dare OW and her do that to your sweet S9.

I understand you have called lawyer, GAL, police, and cps. I do hope one of these departments can find their way through the red tape maze and actually get something done!

I am sure you have, and are, reassuring the kids that none of this is their fault.

Press your lawyer, there must be a legal avenue to address this. Document this abuse and submit it to authority - L, GAL, etc...

Praying for you and your kids.

DnJ