[bluered]

This [censored]. I had a dream with him in it and heights which I’m deathly afraid of.

Still not have heard from him but I did do something for myself: I’m going back to the gym, got a new hairstyle, made plans with people this month.

I’m going to start working on my art again and start releasing new stuff to also help with the therapy part of this whole ordeal and experience. I just realized that not doing what I do best makes me feel like a victim and definitely not myself.

I’m going to start building and working on my dreams again.

On the upside, I will find out sometime this week regarding my position at work and I may have a promotion. Got a new office.

Have not contacted him. He can do that.

[SteveLW]

Keep up the good work bluered. Remember...marathon, not a sprint.

[Cadet]

Is it normal for WAS’ to go dark when the LBS goes dark?

When do they actually reach out? Do they ever not in some cases?

Maybe you have always pursued ( see pursuit and distance) and now that you stop pursuing, the WAS
is not yet pursuing you.

It could be very normal.

My suggestion is to not worry about it,
worry about yourself because you are the only one that you can really control.

[bluered]

Thanks Cadet. I read some threads on here that outlines the pursuer and distanced differences.
I was definitely the pursuer. Then I stopped about a year ago. Then he was pursuing me but I was not reciprocating in any way. Most likely because I felt such a huge resentment because it felt as though his job was more important than our M and I.

I’m not crying myself to sleep anymore but I do get bouts of extreme sadness.

I’m trying not to think about what he’s doing by keeping busy. I tend to over analyze and assume specific things if I don’t have all the answers.

[bluered]

Thanks Steve. I’m trying! Some days are so much more easier than others.

It is quite literally like cutting the rope that you believe will save you and bring you back to safety. It’s surreal. It’s a surreal feeling.

[Cadet]

It is quite literally like cutting the rope that you believe will save you and bring you back to safety.

Think of it more like a hole filled with quicksand and if you jump in to try to save him or the relationship you will be gobbled up and go down in the quicksand.

You must let go and save yourself first.

As a pilot they used to teach us to put on our oxygen mask first before you try to save someone else.

If you can't breathe you can't save someone else.

[bluered]

Tha is Cadet. That’s a really good analogy to use.

He emailed me on Tuesday, but I only saw it yesterday.
I have not checked my email in a while. I haven’t read the email as of yet but it’s most likely him checking up on me to see how I’m doing as he usually does after the separation.

Not sure if I should respond... he’s just checking up on my well being and how I’m doing with the treatments.

Should I respond? Honestly have been contemplating this all night. On one hand, I don’t want to be bitter and leave him hanging, but on the other hand I also just don’t want to respond. I just essentially feel like when he decided to leave, he threw away the “personal relationship” and his privilege to know my state and well-being.

[bluered]

Also I have to add that he says he is unable to sleep and has been worried to do the brim about me.

In DR it says to not believe anything they say.

Actions speak louder than words. In a way I want to believe him. Initially I did. But I don’t now. Part of the reason why I don’t want to reply.

I could be wrong, there’s always that chance.

[Ready2Change]

Not sure if I should respond... he’s just checking up on my well being and how I’m doing with the treatments.

If you are detached enough. Maybe something short. real short.


"Doing well"

[AnotherStander]

Also I have to add that he says he is unable to sleep and has been worried to do the brim about me.

In DR it says to not believe anything they say.

Actions speak louder than words. In a way I want to believe him. Initially I did. But I don’t now. Part of the reason why I don’t want to reply.

I could be wrong, there’s always that chance.

Well it's genuine concern I'm sure, but it is nothing but pity. He takes pity on poor little you because you've lost the Greatest Man to Ever Walk God's Green Earth, one that can never ever be replaced so hang on as Plan B because you'll never do better. Don't give him the benefit of knowing you're hurting. A short response as suggested by R2C is the way to go.