I will also chime in and add my perspective as a guy. This man is definitely interested. Enjoy the company and as others have said, if you want to spend time with him, you need to give him some sign. Ask him out for a one-on-one. He's kinda feeling you out to see if you have any interest in spending time with him.
I just want to say that this is so awesome. A while back you were worried how you don't match up to standards of beauty and your age. Let this be the clearest sign you can see - there are men who find you interesting and attractive. You have one RIGHT now who is interested in you. You have tons of value and things to offer as a woman and a person. Please enjoy yourself, whatever version that is for you with him.
Thanks for taking the time to share your input as men and as people who understand the unique challenges of suddenly finding yourself single after many years of marriage and not really knowing how to navigate the single world.
I don't really think this guy is interested. Today didn't go well actually. I asked to do the meeting today so the CEO of my company could join before he leaves town. Then this guy said he's busy today asked to change the meeting to tomorrow to be just me and him. Good sign right? Then my boss asked me to cancel the meeting tomorrow because I'm new at our company and he said we can't trust this guy and his company because they're our direct competitor. This was a totally unexpected mentality because two nights ago we were all friends having a great time together. Maybe he observed we were interested in each other and thought there'd be collusion?
So I e-mailed my friend and said we need to cancel the meeting (everyone was copied to the e-mail). Then I called him privately and said my boss doesn't want me to have the meeting alone with him but I said I still want to see him. We talked about meeting for lunch tomorrow or tonight before he goes to a dinner with his college friends. We kind of settled on tonight because I said I didn't want to be too obvious heading out tomorrow in case people figure out I'm meeting him. Then a few minutes later he sent me a message saying the dinner is earlier than expected so tonight won't work. He said he'll be back in a few weeks so we'll meet then. He said the other guy with him would still like to see me tomorrow.
Sorry to bore everyone with those details. I don't think he's interested though because if he was he'd make time to meet tonight. I'm also disappointed that the CEO of my company ruined what was a great dynamic between our teams. I don't know how that'll affect everything moving forward.
Now my husband is here so I hope to have a few minutes to respond to others' threads.
I feel compelled to write one more update. My husband was here earlier and our daughter came and asked me to stand up. Then she pulled my husband over and made us hug each other. It was so sweet and innocent of her but I just started crying. I know that's the worst thing that could happen but it's been a rough day if you read the last post above. On top of everything my husband said he found a different job in our area right near his family's house so now he's back to moving here again in a month or two.
Tomorrow I'll meet the friend of guy that I've liked. I hope to at least try to smooth over the relationship between our companies but I'm just so disappointed that everything fell apart.
Your daughter is so sweet. I wish I had a happy little family, but I don't and none of us do right now. That's ok...
Well, I wouldn't rule out he colleague's interest in you. You never know what is going on. He could be really tired or stressed or who knows.
Do you think your husband moving home is going to be good/bad or how is that going to change things? Is he going to stop in more frequently when he moves?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Just got back from out of town. I got caught up on your thread, from my perspective I think the guy is interested but I would still still you to proceed with caution. As for your daughter- wow! So now you can see what she truly wants. I know my S wants the same. One thing that's for sure we still have to remain positive ! God bless!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
I don't read the guy's actions as disinterest. It sounds like the relationship between the companies is complicated and that makes it trickier to start something. If he is coming back in a few weeks and wants to meet, why not be open to it but with no expectations? If he bails again you can let it go, but don't assume that from the get go.
I'm sorry to hear WH is moving back to the area. Distance truly does help with detachment. All you can do is make the best of it. Don't worry about the crying. We all need to let it out from time to time.
D
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
Hugs Nic, you are having a difficult day and I know how much all this hurts. Try seeing WH moving to your city as a good thing, I understand you feel it’s not but may be there are some positives, your D will get to spend more time with her father and let him man up and do something for her. He is her father after all you shouldn’t let him wash his hands off of all responsibilities. Try seeing it as you get some time for yourself
I felt this other guy is definitively interested and was gauging your reaction and taking it slow. Again all good right, nobody should rush into these things, see it for the confidence booster it is and let time sort out this R for you. I know it’s so hard and it’s so very long for you, be strong my dear
Thanks so much Neffer, Ovvrnbw, Davide, Lonewlf, and Sia for taking the time to respond and for your encouragement.
I met the friend of the guy I like (his colleague) on Friday. It seems the guy I like is offended or bothered by what happened according to what his friend implied. We were talking about our relationships and his friend also said the guy I like has a casual on / off again relationship with a woman from his home country but he refers to her as 'just a friend.' So for sure he has his own issues and complicated love life just like we all do here.
It's hard not to think about what happened with this guy at work. I didn't hear from him for over a week before he came, then he seemed interested in person, then he arranged that we'd have our meeting alone on Friday, then my CEO canceled it, now we didn't see each other again and he left the city without a single word. I think I did my best to show him I was interested (asked to pick him up at the airport, invited him to a sports event, offered to meet him socially after our meeting was canceled, etc.. {and none of those things happened}). I'm not devastated or super sad because this is nothing compared to what I've been through with my husband, but I feel unlucky that my CEO blocked the meeting because I wanted to see him. I'm not planning to date or marry him - even if he liked me I wouldn't want things to progress because it's not practical. He's younger and has no kids and his life is totally different than mine. If I were to ever be in another relationship it'd have to be with someone more mature who can relate better. I just like him and wanted to enjoy our time together while he's here.
I feel so unprepared to be single and clueless about men. It's nice to hear that you all thought the guy from work sounded interested but I had one long-term relationship before my husband and then my husband and in both cases I never had to question for a second if either guy was interested. They made it really clear they were. So I don't think I'll give further consideration to a guy who sends such mixed signals because to me mixed signals means not interested.
My husband left again today after a short visit. There's nothing to report at all. We had minimal interaction. I get mad every time I see my husband glued to his phone when our daughter is trying to talk to him or spends time with him. He did send me extra money after he left today and he called me late the other night to ask a question that really wasn't time sensitive, so he's still better than before, but it's again frustrating with the mixed signals. He doesn't want to get divorced, doesn't want to reconcile..... Again I guess mixed signals mean not interested.
It's generally hard not having anyone special with whom to talk or spend time. I wish I could find such a person as some of you have done.
I'm planning to invest in a babysitter to attend the local divorce care group this coming week. I don't think I'll be able to go often but I wish to see what the group has to offer and see if I can meet anyone there in real life like those of you here in this forum.
Btw I just realized how badly written my last message was. I write so fast and I went back-and-forth about the same topic. I'm upset but not totally devastated - I'll try to make my messages more reader-friendly and write better in the future!
