Glad to read that your daughter and her h are safe and dodged the hurricane. We are still getting rain and a bit of a breeze from the storm, but hopefully all of this will be out of our area by Wednesday evening. The areas that were hit are destroyed and it will take years for them to rebuild. It broke my heart to see so much destruction on TV and they are still getting rain and the flooding may not be over until Monday, Tuesday as the latest.
Andrew, I think you are wise to step back just a wee bit and allow CL to contact you when she has the time. She's got a lot on her plate right now and if her h is going to exhibit the nasty side of himself, she will need to really focus on what is important right now...She knows that you are there as a friend and sounding board and she will contact you when she has a moment to breathe.
Hopefully your son will be up and about soon. Definitely get those papers in to the office so that he's taken care of while he's home recovering.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks job - I'm glad that it hasn't hit you too badly. I've not followed on the news too much, just kept an eye on the NOAA website which seems to indicate that Florence will be making a right-turn shortly and heading straight back out to sea. I expect you are doing everything appropriate to stay safe yourself.
I also really appreciate the advice wrt CL. It's funny in some ways how I actually have no interest / concern about what she's up to this weekend or with who but do hope that she and her kids are having fun. Quite a contrast to my situation 2 1/2 years ago when I obsessed about everything my now-ex is up to.
I did muse a bit yesterday about my ex. When you receive an electronic funds transfer you can reply so S24 got a "Thank You!" when he paid me back for some Chinese food he had me pick up. In the nearly a year since I've been making support payments my ex only commented once, last month when I made mention that it would have been our 29th anniversary on the payment and she responded quite defensively. Does she think about all that she has lost and what she left behind? No way to tell but it would be hard for her not to. While I do still wish that things worked out differently I do believe that I have a good life now and will have a good one going forward. Perhaps even better than if she were still here. When I woke up this morning I had a flash of looking in to CL's eyes even though I was alone. It was a nice feeling.
S24 just wandered by to use my bathroom (the only one on the second floor) without his crutches so I presume he's doing better. My tea-pot is just about empty and my walking stick is calling for me to go for a stroll around the village.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Well this is creepy. I got home from work to a message on the answering machine - for my ex-wife. It seems she won a prize from some home party thing. The caller indicated that she had been trying to reach her for a while.
I called back And left a message myself saying that my ex has been gone for about 2 1/2 years, that I don't have a number for her but suggesting she try through her work (yes yes - I'm far too nice). Weird that she would have given this number.
Haven't heard from CL for a couple of days. Sent her a hug via text being obvious that a response wasn't expected. I hope it brightened what I expect has been a difficult day.
S24 is supposed to go back to work tomorrow. I think he should take a few more days to heal but he doesn't agree. He was hobbling around without crutches tonight.
I'm still creeped out about the phone message.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I understand being creeped out over a phone call after all of this time...but they do tend to forget where they are living at times. There are some that give out the "old" home number in the hopes that the other party will call and that call tends to get you thinking about the xw/xh.
I can remember two times when I had calls from people looking for xh and he had been gone just about 3 years. One was the his auto insurance agent wanting to speak to him about a new vehicle he had purchased (that agent actually lived in the area where he was currently living and it was not the agent we had used for many years). So I rang up the agent and advised them that we had been divorced from 3 years and that I had no clue why my number was given to them. The second call came from a health insurance agent looking for him to discuss the option plans for dental. Again, not my insurance carrier and it he wasn't our carrier when we were married because I paid for our family plan through my work. So, he told me that my xh was just trying to jerk me around by having him call me with the info. Never heard from him again.
Maybe my xh was just off his rocker...but I think it was his way of letting me know what he was doing and reminding me that he was still out there.
Andrew, let this kind of stuff roll off your back. I do understand how you felt.
As for son, maybe he should stay home a couple of more days if he's hobbling around. He could do more damage to the injured leg/ankle by rushing the process. It's one of those things that he will need to learn by doing and suffering through.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My husband is prone to bad sprains and the advice he was given was that walking on it was better than not. It tends to stiffen up and swell when not walked on. For what it’s worth.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
I've sent CL a brief "thinking of you" text in the evenings to which she's responded daily. She's having a tough time of it. I'm not making any noises at all about our next date. No clue when it might be. She'd mentioned that she might be up in my geography this coming weekend visiting a friend but doubt she'll stop by especially if her kids are with her. I may give the kitchen and bathroom a quick wipe and a prayer though.
I hope she appreciates my notes. She does respond. I remember from when I was going through the worst of things that knowing that others had been there before, that they got through it and that they cared was important to me. In no way do I suggest fixes or anything to her. She's a smart capable woman who knows her situation and has a good lawyer. No need for me to do anything but sit on the sidelines and wave a tiny flag cheering (my most recent message).
I waffle about whether I should be sending her those notes vs being totally silent but other conversations I've read here indicate that people do like such things. I know that I do. And I don't want her to think I'm ghosting her. My assumption is that if I'm being annoying that she'll just stop responding.
I finally deleted the two dating apps off of my phone. The reminders were annoying and right now I have little interest in going that route. I'll probably not disable the profiles for a bit though. "If" something does happen with CL it's not going to ramp up in any fashion until she gets the first big hurdles of her legal stuff taken care of. And that could be a while. Hopefully we can fit in a date every couple of weeks or so though. I'm pretty much available 6 days / week but she's not.
S24 came home yesterday from working with his leg swollen up again. He seemed fairly cheerful though and appreciated my concern and the small amount of fussing that I did over him. He's resting today and just wandered by without his crutches.
I had an itch to drive through the village where my ex lives to see if she is still stuck in her spot but ignored it. Due to construction my GPS keeps trying to route me through there. I recently went through a "what if" mental exercise about her circling back and was glad that it didn't cause me stress and that even in the absence of CL or others that I have no interest in opening up that can of worms. It comes down to what I've said for a long time. I can't see her being willing to do what would be necessary for me to trust her again. Like the laser zapped "true love knot" tattoo on my wrist, yes, there's still something there inside me for her but it is damaged and faded. There will probably always be some ink remaining but it is only the debris of something that is now long past and never will be again.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I've work from home on Wednesdays since forever and after work today I decided to go out for a walk like I often do. I took a slightly longer walk - about 7 1/2 km vs my normal 4 that took me out of the village and past the farms. It's a fabulous day here and finally not boiling hot.
About 2km from the village I come up to a stop sign and start crossing the road. Who is at the other side in her very unique vehicle? My ex. I look up, see her, look away ignoring her (I usually wave at everybody whether I know them or not) and continue on. She turns towards the village.
That road only leads into my village from where she lives. She could have been coming in to the store here but that's pretty unusual I would imagine. If she were going anywhere else on the planet, she would have taken a different route.
This is the first time that I've encountered her "in the wild" in about 2 years.
If we want to put on our tin-foil hats, S24 could have told her that I was out and she might have popped over for whatever reason. If we add another layer of tin-foil, we could suggest that S24 has shared the GPS tracking logins and she knew where I was.
Le sigh.
On a more positive note, CL responded to a random question I had posited to the universe on Facebook so she is obviously not annoyed at me. I probably won't text her tonight (must resist!) as she has church on Wednesdays until later in the evening. The test I'm running for work is just about done and I promised S24 fresh biscuits (from a mix) tonight.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I'm not sure I'm understanding the question. When I ran into my then STBX in a random encounter a couple of years ago it was just awkward for both of us and did confirm that she was no longer wearing her ring in public. It was still a couple of months after that when I gave up waiting for her to "make up her mind".
Since then we've both made efforts to not cross each other's paths. I certainly have at any rate and will continue to do so.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think you have every reason to be freaked. Think about where this must be on the limerence timeline and the fact that he has not been public and out there with her or made her an honest woman. Who wouldn't miss the guy that treated her well, adored her, and that was married to her forever. I'd still stay back and detached from it and not get any hope into it, but changes in patterns are worth noting.
