I am so sorry to read that your mortgage company is giving you the blues...but it will be over very, very soon. Stick with them and continue to communicate with them. Do not let them off the hook.
As for your NG helping you out...wonderful! See, he really did want to help you and what he did was great. So, did you get all of the flooring into the house so that it can acclimate? It takes about 72 hours for that to happen. I can't wait to hear all of the progress going on in your new home. Take photos to document the progress so that you have them to look back on when the work is completed.
I am so proud of you! Look at what you've accomplished and continue to accomplish, i.e., against the odds.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you Job! I almost can't believe I am making this happen, even if the road is rocky. I can't wait to close. That's a great idea, I need to take before pictures of my house so I can really appreciate the work when it is done. We brought all the wood to the house so it could acclimate. I can't believe we got it in there.
I was a huge step for me to let him help. ANd his did it without complaining once. We went out to dinner after and I told him what a huge deal it was to accept help for me. He said "I am more than happy to help such an awesome woman.
The weekend did continue to be amazing. We went kayaking and fishing at a beautiful reservoir not too far from us yesterday. I had never done either. I grew up a city girl with parents who never did this stuff. We were out there for 6 hours, and I didn't even realize it. We got sandwiches, docked and had a little picnic. He is an absolute sharp contrast from my ex. He is seriously patient, sweet, and encouraging. Helped me with everything, nothing inconvenienced him at all. If this was my ex and I, he would have found some way to insult me, yell at me, ect. He was totally encouraging. I also did really good fishing and actually held a fish. He took pictures for me, and there was a point he was taking pictures and I didn't even know it. He got some good candid shots.
He told me my smile was so genuine in the pictures that he thought it was beautiful and made him smile. My BFF texted me this morning and said "I saw your pictures you posted, did you notice something about them?' so there I am worried I had a booger on my face. She said "you smile is REAL!!!" It was.
I also took a huge step and thanked him in my FB post. And it didn't bother him. I am definitely enjoying our time together. He is too we talked about future plans and things we would like to do together. So far, so good, I'll take it!
I am so glad you had a great time out on the water. Your photos say it is all...you were enjoying yourself doing something totally different. Your smile lit up your face! Enjoy your time together, take it slowly and try not to rush the process.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He sounds awesome. I am so glad the tides are turning for you! Equity amd a new guy thats great!
I understand the feeling of not wanting to ask for help from romantic interests. . With my ex, i always asked him for help. Looking back i actually should have been more independent with certain things. And right before BD, his complaint about me was that i was too needy and he had to do everything. (Not really true as i was working and hyper alert taking care of adhd kid) Our marriage counselor suggested it is often a way that we use to try to get attention from an inattentive spouse.
So with the 2 guys I dated after BD i never asked for help. I thought it was a sign of neediness and that it wwould come across as someone with a selfish character and as a flaw.
Like you, i am learning that guys like to help though. It makes them feel important maybe? Or if they are hobby/mechanically inclined it offers them a way to demonstrate affection in a way more co fortable to them then conversation?
Congrats G! I think most guys like to help.....I think it has something to do with the natural desire to watch out for and take care of your lady. Chivalry....old school thoughts of physical labor should be done by men because we are naturally stronger.
I am sure he was happy you allowed him to help and be part of the process.
Kayak... Fishing... Now that's a weekend I can support.. G, he sounds like the type of guy you've been looking for, but keep things at a even pace, no need to rush things along. It's great that you let him help, especially since it seems he really helped, but make sure you keep your focus on getting the house ready. Fit him in if it makes sense, but if it doesn't, tell him that and make plans for a later date. You got this G.
Ps- saw the pick, that is so not how you hold a fish, lol... Run your hand with the spines and hold them down, that will keep you from getting stabbed.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Kayak... Fishing... Now that's a weekend I can support.. G, he sounds like the type of guy you've been looking for, but keep things at a even pace, no need to rush things along. It's great that you let him help, especially since it seems he really helped, but make sure you keep your focus on getting the house ready. Fit him in if it makes sense, but if it doesn't, tell him that and make plans for a later date. You got this G.
Ps- saw the pick, that is so not how you hold a fish, lol... Run your hand with the spines and hold them down, that will keep you from getting stabbed.
I see why you enjoy kayaking and fishing so much. I was in a place of zen and totally completely present and disconnected and it was awesome. he actually did teach me about the spines, how to smooth them out so they don't cut you, how to unhook the fish and hold it. He had already taken care of the spines for me so I could hold the fish. He's a sweetie!
I do have to slow myself down in my head sometimes. I really like him, things are great, but we are still getting to know each other. I still live with some fear of saying or doing something wrong to scare him off. My ex really did leave some scars. He looks at me as a prize, likewise, though. So far, I don't have one negative gut feeling.
So I find out this morning my ex and his wife also bought a house. Gotta take my wind away! So D11 is going to be getting 2 new houses within a month of eachother. 2 new bedrooms. She seems to be less excited about her dad's new house. She didn't even really want to talk about it, which was strange. I think she is more excited, because ours is coming with a dog and is in her BFF's backyard.
Anyways. Still in Limbo on the house. Causing me a little bit of stress. I'll just have to work with what I have though.
I see why you enjoy kayaking and fishing so much. I was in a place of zen and totally completely present and disconnected and it was awesome.
I agree, fishing can be transcendent. I can remember a number if times when I was out on a boat fishing with my dad and thinking I didn't want it to end.
I can also remember being out on a boat, about 100 miles off shore in the Gulf with my now XW (it was before we were married). We were fishing and scuba diving. We decided to stay on the boat overnight. It was a moonless night and there were no lights anywhere; we were completely alone. When the phosphorescent water lapped against the boat, there would be a hint of luminescence along the edge of the water. The Milky Way was the brightest thing in the sky and we'd see an occasional meteor streak across the sky. It was so incredible that it's indescribable and it's still a great memory even though my XW is long gone.
I can remember deep sea fishing in Florida when I was a kid and my step-dad puking his guts out off the side of the boat. Nothing is worse as he was on the front of the boat and I was on the back.............
It's still surreal. Papers are signed, keys are in hand!
I am waiting for D11 to officially enter as the homeowners. I am going to go surprise her and pick her up from school after her math test. Contractors start tomorrow.
we talked about future plans and things we would like to do together. So far, so good, I'll take it!