Moving on

[petri]

The kids are with XW this week. XW has known about the operation for three months. She could of scheduled that she's off from work. Darn it. I don't have anyone. And XW should be the one to figure this out.

[neffer]

P, it´s about the kids...you should go. Use the DB master´s robe, sceptre and sandals.

[petri]

Cancelling plans. I can always reschedule. Kids come first.

[NicoleR]

Petri, it sounds like you're doing the right thing. Your kids will see you as the dependable parent and that means more than anything right now.

[petri]

I informed XW that I rescheduled my plans and will be with the kids. Got a nice "ok" response.

[petri]

I made the right decision by watching the kids. More time for me with the kids and a happy mind.

BTW has anyone checked the Mark Manson book? Just brilliant...

[petri]

When you think things cam't get any weirder...XW just sent me her emotional lock test. You know where they tell ypu if you're dependent, emotionally avoidant etc...I had to ask where is this coming from. She just said she thought it would be good for her to dig in to her own head and if I had the book about these things she could borrow. This is like x-files stuff right now...

[petri]

I've been detaching like a mad man and setting boundaries. The fact that I infomed MIL that I don't feel comfortable with her staying nights at our house when it's my week is apparrently just me taking revenge on XW and me burning bridges behind me. And XW wants to sit down and talk about things that are bothering us both. Any tgoughts if this would be a good idea?

[Btrow]

Petri,
If XW belive that you being uncomfortable with her mother staying at your home, is a revenge on her, then she clearly doesn't care one bit what is bothering you. Most likely she will repeat that statement to whatever you bring up, and expect you to accept and make changes to whatever is bothering her. I'm 18 months divorced and my XW is still playing the same tune whenever i disagree with her. "you are only doing it to hurt me". Completely unreceptive to common sense.
Good luck.

[neffer]

Hi P!. It´s ok for you to stand for yourself. You are D now. You are just setting some boundaries related to your own life. Validate but stand where you need to be standing.