After being in a sex drought, I am sure restraint is probably the toughest thing. Good on you for being able to do that. I think I might need to just do some 'play' to get that out of my system and so I can then maybe look for a R lol.
It all sounds dope! Enjoy it all and keep us posted.
Well, as someone before me said, that escalated quickly. Like G, I caution you to go slow and not get too far ahead of yourself, but good for you for finding someone you click so well with. I'm glad for you!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
That is tough M, I agree. The first couple of dates I was like a deer in headlights. The very first girl laid a kiss on me and I was not expecting it. I also think, early on, it was obvious to the ladies that I was new at the game. I am sure they could tell no matter how I tried to play it off.
After you go on a few dates you get more comfortable with it but with OLD you never know who is going to walk through the door. Pictures don't line up with what you thought you were going to get and if they do then there is the whole chemistry piece on top of that and their lifestyle as well.
I have no idea what will happen with this girl but all I can say is that so far every component has lined up. When she reached out to me on Saturday I really didn't even like her pictures so when she walked through the door I was blown away. She was much more attractive in person, I am sure she would get more play if she changed up her profile but maybe that will be a good thing for me
Wow, when the king of moving too fast, or would that be the queen??? (Ginger) says you need to slow down... That is a warning to be heeded.
Has anyone ever watched 90 Day Fiancee? Or Before the 90 Days? It's an amazing watch of human nature. I see guys and women too on there going to another country to meet "the love of their life" - mind you this "love of their life" is someone they sometimes have never met in person - in some cases never spoken on the phone with or video chatted with even. It's CRAZY. They often take engagement rings with them. How sad!!!! Yet I read things here that... while certainly not the same thing, tend to remind me. We are all who we are. I was somehow blessed with whatever gene it is that makes me critically think and question everything. Perhaps it's not only a blessing, but it does make me think with my head and not my heart - at least most times.
When I do consulting and strategic planning for groups and companies, or perhaps I should say when I did since I've not for several years, I encouraged everyone to take a 30,000 feet view. Step back and look. This girl would scare the b'jesus out of me. Two short dates and she's looking at the future? Stage 5 clinger is right. I'm betting you've never dealt with one of those. Neither have I but I've heard the stories - actually just talked with someone who had to get the police involved.
Thing is, you were off to the races before all of this started - even with just starting OLD. Remember your D papers are still drying. We can all talk until we are blue in the face and it's not going to phase you a bit. You are going to run head fast into this. So all we can do is hope for the best and be here when or if it doesn't go as hoped. Someone that appears to be too good to be true often is. That doesn't mean you should not continue, enjoy, etc. but slow down dude. I've been known to tell Ginger to triple the time frame she thinks to need or use. I need to find a new one - sextuple it maybe? LOL
Good luck, have fun and let us know how things progress.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
10-4 DH.......I think it will slow down naturally as I will chat with her tonight on my way home but there are no current plans for us to get together. I have my girls this week and she is leaving town for Wed/Thurs so unless she suggests something I won't be bringing us up getting together until after she returns.
I did send her a text message this morning and told her I would give her a call on my way home tonight but after that call I will go dark as I don't want to be the one constantly pursuing. She initially pursued me, I set up the first date and the second date so it is time for her to initiate conversation with me.
J9, first off, enjoy yourself! Have fun! Soak it up!
My OLD experience led me to someone who wanted to move things fast. At first it was awesome, but then I slowly started having this uneasy feeling, that just grew with time. When she started mentioning future events, I could just feel something wasn't right. I've learned to be on the lookout for that uneasy feeling.
And it's okay to make a mistake. We're human. It's how we learn.
Originally Posted by DonH
Thing is, you were off to the races before all of this started - even with just starting OLD. Remember your D papers are still drying. We can all talk until we are blue in the face and it's not going to phase you a bit. You are going to run head fast into this. So all we can do is hope for the best and be here when or if it doesn't go as hoped.
Don's point here is something I think a lot about. How soon is it to start dating? I know everyone's different. What are the signs? Is the anger about the D gone? Are we completely off the roller coaster? I don't have any answers, just questions.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
H - I was not overly comfortable at first but have gotten much more comfortable with each woman I went out with. I have no idea what will happen with this girl but you will know when its right.
IMO I think you have to get to a place where your D does not dominate the forefront of your mind and you don't have a desire to talk about it. Or if asked by the girl you are dating you can play it off without feeling the need to go into too many details. Early on this was hard for me because as you know it's all you thought about.
Trust your gut and if you are not excited when they first walk in the door then I would move on to the next. Also look for red flags along the way....I would also suggest that you know what you want in partner your non-negotiable items.
H - I was not overly comfortable at first but have gotten much more comfortable with each woman I went out with. I have no idea what will happen with this girl but you will know when its right.
I've had that on 2 dates, but it didn't work out for reasons.
Originally Posted by Joseph9
IMO I think you have to get to a place where your D does not dominate the forefront of your mind and you don't have a desire to talk about it. Or if asked by the girl you are dating you can play it off without feeling the need to go into too many details. Early on this was hard for me because as you know it's all you thought about.
My D doesn't dominate my mind, but my struggles with my XW do. I have no desire to talk about my D on a date.
Originally Posted by Joseph9
I would rather be single than settle
Amen, brother!
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
