I think you are right MRay. I don't think she knows what she wants. I never believed that she ruled out R with me. I just don't think she wants it now...and that's fine. I am living my life as it comes...not waiting around for her or bothering her. The only time I communicate with her is when she starts it. I am just fine if weeks, even months, go by without speaking to her. I did it for 4 years so it's not a problem or a trauma for me. I think she is trying to figure out what she wants. But if she wants to hang our again, it's going to be dinner and a band or nothing. My mind is made up in that regard. No more pow-wows as I call them LOL!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I must say, I do feel a bit badly not replying to her...almost mean.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Honestly, I think it comes off as a bit petty. Since coming back into your life I don't think she's wronged you in any way, and she's been pretty honest about her intentions. She won't really know why you have suddenly pulled back, and I don't think that will intrigue her or prompt her to suddenly pursue you. I could be wrong I'm no expert, but I just don't support ignoring her.
Married: 9, Together: 16 Me:33, W:34, D:6, S:3 BD: 1/1/18 EA confirmed: 2/7/18 I moved out 6/1/18
Yeah I'm second guessing myself too. I think I can still briefly talk to her...I'll just refrain from meeting her (unless it's under an obvious date situation.)
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
At this point, I don't think it hurts to respond back. I'm with MRay on this one. A simple - 'thanks for the message' or something very neutral would be better than not responding at all. You're just keeping communication lines open. That's it. Meeting her is a different story and I think your strategy on that is pretty fair.
Agrees Maika. I replied to her about 5 minutes ago and said yeah it's a shame that we lost Aretha Franklin and Elvis on the same date. She replied back right away with "Oh wow I didn't realize that." I left it at that. I feel better now...it felt too cruel and unwarranted to just ignore her. But yes, meeting up isn't happening unless it's an obvious date situation now...and that I won't feel bad about.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
ItHurt, that sounds like the right thing to do to send a brief response. It sounds like you'll keep receiving these kinds of texts. I like your approach but I can't help but be curious what would happen if you told her, "that's it! No more hanging out as friends!"
Well Steve I think it's more texting as "what it is." She knows where I'm coming from as I do her. It's probably from different places at this point but I think that aspect should only pertain to us spending live time together. If she wants to keep the lines of communication open that's fine, but if she wants to her together again...it's dinner and a band or nothing...and that's without the "this isn't a date" BS. As a single man pushing 50, if I'm going to give up a weekend night to a woman, it's not going to be so she can hug me at the end of the night. So yeah I guess if she wants to shoot me a text every now and again so be it.
I haven't had and don't have the need to text her or talk to her, so I don't. I guess it's an arrogance in me (that I'm not sure is a good thing or a bad thing overall) that tells me that she can't stay away. Deep down I always knew one day she'd seek me out again. There's a reason that all of the women I've been with in my life always said of me something to the effect of " you're one of a kind" and "there's only one ItHurts" and the like. I am aware that I'm not like most guys. WAW knows this better than anyone and she was always quick to boast about it before we started having our marriage problems. So I guess I just believe deep down that she needs me more than I need her. For whatever reason it is...she needs me in her life...if it's friendship then so be it. After all as Joseph Campbell once said "Love is a friendship set to music." So I guess we'll see if the juke box strarts spinning some tunes soon enough.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
