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OrangeK Offline OP
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One thing that nobody here has seemed to grasp excluding Sandi and Vanilla is the abnormality and chaotic nature of my EX.
She is abusive, manipulative, and a COMPULSIVE liar.

I think a lot of you are still viewing her through the lens of a normal woman, WAW or WW.
She isnt.

"She could lay a bag of money at your feet and you would find 100 ways to hate her for it."
This simply isnt true AS.
but thanks for the input regardless.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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OK - I had hoped today would be really better for you. Unfortunately it seems we talk about and re-hash the same things. I am not trying to be mean but maybe you enjoy being the victim IDK. The board can't help you move forward if you don't want to move forward yourself.

If your W is a Vulnerable Narcissist then her BF can deal with it. I still don't understand how it is currently your problem or if you respond to her with YES/NO/Thank you or whatever how that impacts you.

If you truly are suffering from Stockholm syndrome then you need help, more help than from random people on the Internet.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Ok thanks Yall.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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It seems to me i am expected to just come by and post

"All is well, went to he gym, had a good dinner, S3 had a play at school"

Well if that was my reality, i would gladly post thusly, but i post to manage my feelings, and that seems to be unacceptable here.

Why would I come and post dishonestly? wouldnt that defeat the point?


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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OK - Post your feelings but then that turns into banter with other people and you argue with their suggestions. And you have shown no signs of moving forward or making progress. Your still stuck on the same items.

I thought this was Clean Slate Pt 1???????????????

And I actually spent almost all day yesterday talking to you about this....................did I waste my time??????????


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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I dont enjoy being the victim BTW, i was told by several members of this board to come here and post when i have an interaction with EX, so i dont respond to her rashly or stupidly, I did so, asked for advice, and gave my opinion, only to be told i was wrong yet again.

Well, im off to my camp trip.
Perhaps when i get back after some soul cleansing I will post updates that do not go against the rigid grain of DB tenants.
Feels really "Damned if you do damned if you dont" here.

Since you have all decided I am the one with mental issues, and my manipulative, lying adulterer of a wife is just a model frikkin citizen, I will make sure to proof read my posts before i offend any of you in the future.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Joseph9
OK - Post your feelings but then that turns into banter with other people and you argue with their suggestions. And you have shown no signs of moving forward or making progress. Your still stuck on the same items.

I thought this was Clean Slate Pt 1???????????????

And I actually spent almost all day yesterday talking to you about this....................did I waste my time??????????


No Joseph, our conversation was very valuable to me, however where is it written I will be pillaried like a f*cking witch trial if i so much as voice a disagreement or a conflicting opinion.

"DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO"
is that the new DB motto??


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
OrangeK Offline OP
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you all seem to think my EX is this delightful little angel. Where in the nine hells did you get that idea?


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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When you ask for advice do you really want it? When you ask is your mind already made up on your way of doing things? If you truly want advice and direction, then ask but don't ask if your mind is already made up just so you can engage someone in banter. That is wasting our time.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
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Originally Posted by OrangeK
One thing that nobody here has seemed to grasp excluding Sandi and Vanilla is the abnormality and chaotic nature of my EX.
She is abusive, manipulative, and a COMPULSIVE liar.

I think a lot of you are still viewing her through the lens of a normal woman, WAW or WW.
She isnt.

"She could lay a bag of money at your feet and you would find 100 ways to hate her for it."
This simply isnt true AS.
but thanks for the input regardless.


We are all grasping that she is abnormal/crazy, a liar, abusive, manipulative.

We absolutely get that.

But we don't focus on her.

What matter is it if she is al those things stated above when it comes to a reply to YOUR statement of wanting good co-parenting????? STOP TALKING TO HER IF YOU DON'T TRUST HER ANSWERS

her mental status is not relevant in this issue. She will do what she does, she will say what she says. There is nothing that she could say to you obviously, so say nothing to her!

You are absolutely placing your self in this position.

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