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Agree with J9. ON all counts.

You were the one who reached out saying with wanting no animosity, and when she comes back and agrees you tear it apart. So what kind of response were you hoping for? She agreed. If she would have said "I am going to make this as hard as possible, I hope you never find what you want" would that have been better?

What was your expectation regarding the statement she is replying to?

See, you can't put those things out there, then tear apart the "best" answer she could possibly give you. It's a lose lose for YOU.

So, take it for face value, thank her, and move about your day, just like J9 said.

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OrangeK Offline OP
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i wasnt going to reply at all, im far more focused on leaving for my camp trip.

Why do you think i should say thank you instead of nothing?


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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I truthfully really don't think it matters.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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If it was me though I was say Thank you


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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That doesnt exactly fit wit hthe "YES/NO" model.
this is why i get confused, contradicting advice is tough.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Ginger, please also keep in mind my Ex is not just some typical WW.

Look at some of Vanillas posts to me.
She is a predator. Literally everything i say to her needs to be carefully weighed.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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Yes, No, Thank you or no response.........I believe that is what I told you.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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If you don't interact with her and keep your interactions very minimal I have no clue how she can prey upon you.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Google Vulnerable Narcissist.

Thats how.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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Vulnerable Narcissist Traits

The most prominent of vulnerable narcissism traits is a constant victimization mentality. They are always the victim, and always require sympathetic attention.

They are emotionally draining to be around. Mostly because of how sensitive they are on top of being emotionally demanding. Their mission in life is to get the people around them to see them as the perfect creatures they are.

Vulnerable narcissists are quite prone to developing depression. The life they live does not meet the fantasy of the life they feel entitled to.




How does this currently impact you if you don't see her or keep your interactions with her very minimal?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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