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284 #2806555 08/13/18 03:29 PM
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Starting to slowly understand. Haven't heard from her in 5 days, haven't attempted to get ahold of her either. At least there's no arguing or drama. My S11 health is even improving! It's amazing what stress will do to us. I want to blame all of these problems on me, but I know now that is not helping me. I must look up. I will also be finally moving out of this empty house into an apartment soon. Feels good to be moving forward although leaving the memories of our lives together as a family will be difficult. Been doing a lot of walking, breathing, grieving. I have lost weight and it feels amazing!

284 #2806873 08/14/18 10:18 PM
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I just received a text from W. She states that our marriage is over and she Hope's that I understand that. She has all the paperwork filled out and she needs me to go get them motorized at a bank. She said we wont have to even go to court. She says shes not doing it because she hates me and that she would still be here for me. I haven't heard from her in almost a week and now she hits me with this. Do I just accept the fact that she no longer want to be M. It is her choice I guess, I have no control over her.

284 #2806877 08/14/18 10:27 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that 284. That must be rough. My own D-day is probably about 8 months in the future, and I'm sure it will hit me like a sack of bricks.

If she wants to go for a divorce then there isn't much you can do. You're absolutely right that you can't control her. That said, it seems like she is moving awfully fast. You don't have to sign anything without going over it with a lawyer or the like. Don't just sign off on it because she wants a quick resolution, make sure that you are protecting yourself, your son and your finances.

Hang in there.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
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Thanks for the advice Davide! After I thought about her message for a little bit I was like f#@k it. I told her to drop them off but I wouldn't get them back to her first awhile because I had a lot going on. She text back saying something about dropping them off tomorrow and picking them up on Fri.? She had a dentist appointment to go to. She then offered to go with me to the bank to have them notarized. Last one I replied that we were moving this weekend so this week wouldn't work out very good for me. Haven't heard from her since. I'm at the point that it is what it is. I love her and she knows I'm willing to work on the M and if she just wants D then so be it.

284 #2807000 08/15/18 02:47 PM
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Hi 284,

I haven't read your whole sitch but you don't have to help her get a D. No way would I be going to get stuff notarized for her. She is capable and she is trying to get all the benefits of a husband from you without the stuff she doesn't want.

She says she will still be there for you? *puke*


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
284 #2807072 08/15/18 05:36 PM
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My understanding is the only way you don't have to go to court is if you two reach a settlement agreement on your own. I'm currently waiting for my wife to file for divorce. When she does, I plan on treating that only as a rough draft and a start of negotiations, not something I'm going to sign as delivered to me. And I'll meet with a lawyer at least a couple times, at the beginning and end of negotiations. My W mentioned wanting to do mediation a while ago, but hasn't brought it up since.

I was told negotiations can happen outside of court and after filing, that I wouldn't have to sign anything until I agreed to the terms of the settlement agreement.

I don't know what exactly your W wants you to get notarized, but it raised alarms with me that sounded like you might be getting fleeced if it included a settlement agreement. The more I write, the more I realize why people say "talk to a lawyer!" because we are all totally unqualified to give each other legal advice, and this stuff can have lasting consequences.


Me:30 W:31
S:4
M:7 T:12
PA: 5/6/18 - ?
W moved out 7/18
STH17 #2807095 08/15/18 07:09 PM
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My W who’s in the midst of a MLC actually called me to tell me she intended to file and then asked me to go to the court house to pick them up myself. I swear I can’t make this stuff up...


Me - 38 W-37
S6
M 10 years T 13yrs
BD 3/18
W moves out 4/18
W files 7/18

Never waste a good crisis
284 #2807118 08/15/18 08:00 PM
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She left the papers for me at my house I guess. I will have to look at them when I get home. She says shes doing it this way so that they won't actually have to serve me. We don't really have much together to settle. I am going to take the advice on talking to a lawyer though.

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Originally Posted by EZdozit
My W who’s in the midst of a MLC actually called me to tell me she intended to file and then asked me to go to the court house to pick them up myself. I swear I can’t make this stuff up...


I hope you told her to kick rocks....or ignored her entirely.

This is where we say not to do any of the heavy-lifting for them. She wants the D she goes and picks them up.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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