you are being played. It is very common for the WAS to feel the loss of control through the LBS's detachment. And then try to reestablish control by agreeing to do things, and acting in ways that are meant to reattach the LBS. When the LBS falls for it, they reattach, the WAS feels the regaining of the control and retreats.
She also may be gaslighting you a bit with the "yes I'll go with you to the convention", "no I have a conflict" thing. Likely to see how you react. You gave her what she wanted with the "i'll skip it". You should have said, "Ok, no problem. And went with D4 without her.
DBing isn't just posting to this site, pain. it is actually implementing the techniques and principles.
I was afraid that I was taking some missteps. I am realizing that I was being played when she tossed out the bait and reeled it back in. She told me to think on the convention. I'm already taking D4 to another event two weeks earlier (tossed an invite out there to W, she obviously declined).
I'm trying Steve. It's been 16 days and the feedback I've been getting about what I've been doing has been positive. I did not expect to be doing everything perfectly, and a few missteps are to be expected, but I want to make changes and learn from my mistakes as soon as I make them. Not because I'm in a rush, but because I want to speed up the healing process. I felt like I made a major step last night when I joined the gym. I'm going to continue because I felt great after I lifted.
Edit: WW/WAW...I've been told that she's one or the other. What are the differences? I'm not finding WW in the DB/DR books.
Yep, we've all made mistakes. None of us got this right in the first 16 days. My suggestion would be to quit inviting her!! She is a lying cheater. Why do you want to do things with a lying cheater?
7/28/18 - I agreed it's over 7/29/18 - She friend-zoned me
Do you really want to be her friend?
WW is a term sandi came up with. In almost all cases WWs are also WAWs. But it isn't necessarily the other way around. I am not sure your W is a WW. I think she may simply be a WAW. The presence of an OM doesn't dictate waywardness. A lot of times WAWs gave up on their MR a long time ago opening them up to the possibility of an OM. WWs typically try to have their cake and eat it to. Try to keep their H for what he provides and act in any way they want (GGW, EAs, PAs, party-girl).
EDIT: added original response since it was the last one on the page and didn't want it to get lost.
Last edited by Steve85; 08/14/1806:41 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Inviting is done. And if she invites me, I play it cool and if she flips, I play it cool and move on.
F*ck.
What you described as a WAW was the perfect description of my W. She basically talked to me about the possibility of an A with OM. W acts like a WW (from the sh*t she is pulling right now), so I'll need to nip that in the bud.
And no, I'll work on establishing a partnership with her, but I'm not going to let her have her cake and eat it too. F that.
Spoke to doc about my anxiety. Going to get an increase in my anxiety dosage. She likes the exercise regimen I’m starting again. Hoping that it’s something that I do for a very long time.
Still a little wound up about being played with. Working on letting that go.
Back from the gym. W texted me if I put the soup I made in the fridge.
18: Yes W: Why? 18: *shrug* I didn't want it to spoil W: lol. No why did u come home? 18: I forgot something at home and needed to grab it over lunch W: Do u do that often? 18: No W: Just curious as to if I ever forget my lunch W: <Something about hiring kids to shovel bark chips>
So...think I'm still doing good. Day 17 coming ahead.
