There is so much excellent perspective here..... I missed Zues's and Dawn's post somewhere in the mix, and you guys pretty much spelled out how I feel about HC. Really though, no love lost, I don't think he is a bad guy, I just wish he didn't throw the ball back at me. It was a little self-important too where he thought I thought "He" was ending it, where as "I" was ending it. So, we never had our phone call. He texted me at 11pm that he was getting back from the city late and his phone was about to die, and he was sorry, and he would call me tonight. I almost wish he wouldn't, there is nothing to even discuss. He just wants booty, I do not, and it's over. Done. Have a good life. I will give him the tickets that I purchased to the event for next Thursday. Not exactly something a woman goes to without a date. So it's all his.
I just really want to emphasize: sex changed nothing for me. I had zero expectations from sex making it anymore than what it is. I will have you know, he was not crystal clear up front. But his actions began to show me his intentions, I pointed them out, decided they won't work and it's going to be over.
As for Band Guy. He is definitely your story of a LBS with a WAW. He's classic. It's sad. And coconut said I think he got a bit of the nice guy thing going on....... A lot of it I think has to do with his upbringing. He comes from a tight knit family with parents who have been married forever. He had the most ideal childhood...... He lived at home until he got married. This is kind of his first real time being married. I am not worried about the manly man thing. I could tell he would do anything to make something he wants work..... Oh, and what he did with this girlfriend is indeed back off and give her space and he never really heard from her again, so I guess that's where his limbo feeling came in.
So, the luckiest woman on earth picks up the title to the car she just bought out the lease on and gets in a car accident that day! That woman would be me. Going home from work, traffic on the highway, left lane stops short, the girl behind me hits me. Her first car accident, my first in a very long time. She must have been 19-20. We pull over. My bumper is cracked, her hood a bit damaged. Both of us are fine. Hot state trooper comes. Ring on his finger. Ugh. We did chat personally a little...... Anyways, I felt bad for the girl, there wasn't much she could do. I said I would get an estimate and if she wants to pay privately, she can. So that was my fun yesterday. I told Bandguy about it and genuinely seemed concerned. He's away on a roller coaster road trip with his friends. Still keeps contact. Says good morning, good night, that stuff. It's kind of nice.
Last night was me and D10's last night together before her cruise. We went out to dinner, did some shopping, and exH dropped off the dog. We hugged for like 20 min when I dropped her off at camp. 8 days without my baby!!!! I have no plans for the weekend either...... with other people that is. It's funny how I could have all the plans in the world when I have her, and none when I am free. I see myself doing a lot of purging and exercising this weekend.
I should be out of attorney review today. I drove by the house last night. It's waiting for us! I found a bathroom remodel online that I love that suits my size and needs perfectly. Still won't believe until I get the keys though!
I shall start this mornings post with a vent. My baby girl has arrived in Puerto rico. I got a video message from her father of my daughter riding in the back of a pick up truck from the airport with a tractor trailer next to them!!!! I am livid! The whole video is them both saying how I am going to kill him! This is like the first 5 minutes of vacation, to I have to freak the whole time?! It's like OW's family or something. Too dam cheap for a cab?! Good lord. He's an idiot.
Ok, now that I got that out of my system. HC and I ended it over the phone last night. It was very cordial, both understanding eachother's positions. He did feed me some BS. But I didn't buy it and he just needs to go do his own thing. He did say "reach out sometime" Yeah, right. It's not even worth talking about anymore. I just couldn't do that again. I held on once waiting for someone to be ready. This guy seems like it's going ot be a super long time. I can also tell he is deep in that selfish stage. I do deserve so much more. Not even worth talking about anymore. Fun while it lasted. Over now.
I am truly a F-up in all areas of romantic relationships. I am good at all other relationships in my life, but I can't get this right. Friendships are natural. You don't have to play games, or follow some stupid rules, or worry about being too available, or not available enough. You just be. Oh well.
I have since gotten facetime call from my child who thought it was the greatest thing in the world to ridei n the back of a pick up on the highway and will get to the cruise port the same way. This mom right here is ready to kill her ex husband.
The poor baby caught the stomach virus that was going around camp and spent the first night on the cruise puking. She feels better today though. Hopefully everyone else doesn't get it. His sister will go nuts.
I am so sorry she caught a virus. Usually if one gets it, others will soon follow. Hope she feels better and can enjoy the cruise.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am so sorry she caught a virus. Usually if one gets it, others will soon follow. Hope she feels better and can enjoy the cruise.
Thanks Job. She was feeling so/so yesterday, but much better today and will be swimming with the dolphins. No one else is sick so far, thankfully.
I came today to let out some negative thoughts. I just needed to put them somewhere.
On IG last night, I saw FF's IG story. The pictures were of her and her new boyfriend and FF and his GF at a winery.
I hated seeing it. Not because I long for him. There is just no ex I could look back on and see single like me. Almost every single one of them is deeply committed to the person after me. It actually really messes me up in the head. Why do I not deserve it? Why am I the only one STILL alone? It kicks me in the gut.
The two of them are young and happy and his family loves her. They will get married, have their own kids. Why did I even entertain the thought of this working out between us? I was a desperate fool who should have just told him I am too old for him.
I can't make these mistakes anymore.
But really, what has me all messed up seeing everyone coupled up with the one they left me for. Including my exH. I just feel like I am being punished for something.
But really, what has me all messed up seeing everyone coupled up with the one they left me for. Including my exH. I just feel like I am being punished for something.
Ginger,
If you see a recurring issue with your relationships, then there probably is a problem that needs to be addressed. Maybe it's a good time to go on a Ginger Quest to find some answers rather than simply trying again and achieving the same results.
But really, what has me all messed up seeing everyone coupled up with the one they left me for. Including my exH. I just feel like I am being punished for something.
Ginger,
If you see a recurring issue with your relationships, then there probably is a problem that needs to be addressed. Maybe it's a good time to go on a Ginger Quest to find some answers rather than simply trying again and achieving the same results.
I've been questing for 10 years.
I am kind of done questing.
It's pretty simple. I need to not even entertain the thought of even going out on a date with someone whom I know is logistically or emotionally not the right fit. And not let my emotional desire get in that way. I need to be more logical. Everyone (my exH situation was just a mess) has been at a very different place in their lives than me.
which = not too young, or not too old. Not in another state. Not fresh out of a marriage. Divorced, kids, ready for a relationship is all I should be considering and I should be turning everyone else down otherwise.
Timing has been pretty much awful with all of them. My mistake is ignoring it, thinking things will work themselves out if it is meant to be.
Other than that, bad luck.
I wasn't asking why this happens though. Just how it makes me feel.
I feel like you and i are the opposite when approaching relationships. Im discovering i am a bit too logical and you cant really rely on that either Ginger.
I dont know why others have such good luck with relationships. I never would have expected that i would have no problem with my career, but problems with my love life. I have always been that relationshipy/girl friend wife type of person so i dont get it!
Ginger, we met. I dont think either of us is hard to get along with. We are both (not trying to sound conceited, just factual) ahead of conpetition in our age group in terms of having qualitities that mates are seeking. So whats the issue?
I keep going back to the idea that perhaps i dont know how to negotiate well for myself? Like im undervaluing or settling and then end up unhappy or in something unhealthy??
So. When I wait for the other shoe to drop there is always a reason. Because the other shoe drops.
My attorney called and the family of the seller talked him out of selling his house. He is 75 and his wife recently died and his kids think he is making an emotional decision. But I heard he wants to move by his brother, that's why he is selling. SO he isn't alone.
So, I have no house. I have to break the news to my child. I have find another in a very short amount of time, which I most likely won't. I cried. I just cried at my desk. I really can't take this anymore. The layer said in her 30 years this is unusual. My agent is hoping he changes his mind in the next few days.
My luck is non-existent. I can't even believe this happened for a reason. After all I have gone through, this is just cruel. I can't even bring myself to tell my daughter.
I just need one stroke of good luck. Or no stokes of unusual bad luck. I am losing my mind.
Juju, I also met you and I agree, you are beautiful, intelligent, a great mom, with a great career. I wouldn't let go of you if I had you. I do think I make more emotional decisions rather than logistical ones. I need to be smarter when choosing a partner. I believe you have done your due diligence too. You are very pragmatic and smart and loving. We don't deserve this. We are amazing and lovable. ANd no one's second choice.
