I am really struggling today. I went out and was extremely depressed.
I'm not the one in the wrong and yet I am the one to lose everything, my wife, my kids, my home. I want us to be a proper family again. I want them back home.
David, are you following the advice given to you on this site? What are you doing today to make yourself feel better. I understand you are missing your children and everyone here can feel your pain. So now its time for you! Find something to do right now, and no do not go out drinking. What activities do you like?
Its prob around 8pm where you live... go see a movie even if you have to go by yourself. Step up your life... do things....
You cannot sit in self pity.
Find an inner peace that takes your mind of your sitch, you will start to feel better each and everyday.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
What started it off today was that I went to make some space on the answer phone. There were messages from the day W left. Firstly about taking the car to a garage that morning. It was a lie. I played it back several times listening to her lying. The next message was from later in the day when she said "I can't cope anymore" and how she intended that I would still be able to see the kids in the future.
I later treated myself to a purchase, although buying it was an ordeal.
I then walked for several miles. The whole time it kept going through my head that before W left she was telling me in bed that we were soul-mates and yet I now know she'd already been planning a D from me. I can't get my head around how cruel that was.
What started it off today was that I went to make some space on the answer phone. There were messages from the day W left. Firstly about taking the car to a garage that morning. It was a lie. I played it back several times listening to her lying.
You know full well that you should just erase those messages, you heard them once and continued to play them back searching for answers to questions that you already have your answer. Erase them NOW, not later, NOW! Stop looking for some secret link that will reconnect you with your W. Your life is worth living right now. Take the time and find what you like. Whatever she is doing is unimportant to you...
Originally Posted by DavidUK
I later treated myself to a purchase, although buying it was an ordeal.
Are you complaining about something trivial? What could go wrong with purchasing something? Listen David, its time to stand up and fight for yourself. That does not mean that you have to be nasty in any way it means that whatever reason your W has for leaving does not matter anymore and you will be happy with or without her. You can choose to wallow and curl up in a ball... its your choice...pick one...
Originally Posted by DavidUK
I then walked for several miles. The whole time it kept going through my head that before W left she was telling me in bed that we were soul-mates and yet I now know she'd already been planning a D from me. I can't get my head around how cruel that was.
Ok so you need validation that she lied straight up to you, that in her mind at the time you were her soulmate, well guess what? not anymore. She doesnt feel that way right now, that does not mean she cant change her mind, but and this is a big but, you need to do the work. Go GET A LIFE... Geez its been talked about on this site ad nauseam, and the reason is because it works.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
You are feeling like sh*t because life isn't going the way you believe it should go.
i.e because your a nice guy then you should get a second chance or something.. life isnt like that. this isnt a fairy tale. She doesnt want to be with you anymore. Accept it and move on.
The sooner you accept that and start taking advise from here the better because your posts dont reflect that of someone who is completely accepting what is coming.
My XW told me I was her rock, she couldn’t imagine her life without me and the kids, I was great father, great provider, a good man but she left. It will make sense but as B suggested you must accept and move forward. There are many things in this world that people never understand or get answers to. Why should you be any different? The quicker you accept and move forward the sooner you healing process will begin.
I went to breakfast this morning with my XW and daughters......it was nice but it doesn’t mean [censored]. Don’t read into anything and keep moving.
I had a really tough life before meeting W so I really do know how hard life can be and what it takes to get through it.
Even just a few years ago my father was in hospital dying of cancer. During that time, his partner was being extra nice to me sat around his bed, but I later found out that during lunch breaks she had been going to banks taking his money so I didn't inherit anything at all. My W knew how much that hurt me but has doing much the same thing. It may even have given her the idea to do it.
I am receiving professional help who are amazed at how calm I am. Everyone has said the same of me. It is taking an enormous amount of self-control.
W has now taken the kids away for a break (and is aware that I want to do the same). W sent a text saying how they are doing and what they have planned later. She's never done that before. It also says she will get the kids to give me a call. She doesn't do that either.
There was no question asked so it might be best if I don't reply? At the moment, I feel like telling her to leave me alone.
W has now taken the kids away for a break (and is aware that I want to do the same). W sent a text saying how they are doing and what they have planned later. She's never done that before. It also says she will get the kids to give me a call. She doesn't do that either.
There was no question asked so it might be best if I don't reply? At the moment, I feel like telling her to leave me alone.
I won't reply. Someone said to me that I should do, but I won't.
I didn't feel upset when I woke up today. I went for a walk, got some great healthy food and drinks, will look at travel options to visit a freind for a few days, tidy-up at home, sleep.
I have found somewhere that does kayak lessons and hire so I'm interested in having a go at that later in the summer.
